what the hell is the matter with me?!
Posted , 3 users are following.
So it's been a while now and I can't really say how many doctors I've been to, but no luck whatsoever. I'm a 21 year old and I can say my life has been a bit of a horror for the last couple of years. Sorry for being overly dramatic but I'm a little bit desperate over here
I must apologise about this insanely long post, but I just need someone to listen! Please help!
- First of all I have difficulty breathing. Like I can't breathe in all the way or yawn properly, and when I do it feels like I still lack oxygen. It feels like suffocating. Also my nose is constantly blocked. - there's a weird feeling of fullness in my head and pressure in my left ear. I also sometimes get tinnitus in my left ear but it goes away quickly -my tongue and lips feel kind of numb and sometimes chewing or swallowing feels weird - I also feel like my eyes are tired all the time and I can't keep eye contact sometimes like my eyes just drift away. And also they feel quite itchy and watery - my body is generally stiff and achy but mostly neck - there's also a weird feeling in my hands. Stiffnes, painful fingers in the morning and sometimes even like my hands don't belong to me (rarely happens in feet) - my brain sometimes feels foggy - I feel anxious and stressed all the time (even though there's no reason to be and I'm just chilling watching tv or something) - I feel like I can't have a conversation without becoming seriously breathless, dizzy and stiff (like everything worsens then) - my hands feel quite restless and uneasy (which oddly goes away when I wrap my wrists and hands with elastic bandage) - sometimes my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my chest (but my heartbeat never raises above 80) - I feel tired all the time like I haven't slept in days even if I sleep a lot - I have trouble falling asleep at night. I feel shaky and wake up many times often gasping for air and this keeps me up until 4-5 am - I also sometimes experience depersonalisation and derealisation
This feeling never goes away
And brethlessness, uneasiness in my body and weird numbness worsens if I drink coffe, alcohol, energy drinks, attempt exercise, talk to someone, or talk in general, sing (which is devastating given that I studied singing my whole life and it means THE WOLRD to me)... Thus far I've been diagnosed with iron deficiency anaemia and anxiety, but I was never ever anxious in my life before I started feeling ill which means that my anxiety is not a cause but a symptom and my anaemia is quite mild so I've been told it shouldn't cause any problems (and I take iron supplements every single day). Also pulmologists disagree whether I do have mild asthma or not, but they also say it's so mild it shouldn't be a problem. I went to several neurologists, cardiologists, otorhinolaryngologists, endocrinologists and many others and all of them say everything is okay. Also my blood work is great apart from iron levels which are a bit low. No one has an answer and they all say I'm quite healthy. This used to come and go for 4 years but it wasn't as bad all the time so I had quite a normal life when it wasn't happening, but since March last year it got so bad I rarely leave the house. Which is very frustrating given that I go to university and I have to work extra hard to make up for the poor attendance record (which is also really hard sometimes because I feel so ill I can't even study). Not to mention I haven't seen any of my friends in so long. I was so desperate I went to see both psychologist and a psychiatrist. But I don't feel like I need it! my head is in a good place but my body is desperate Even tried acupuncture, life coaching, alternative medicine, NOTHING helped. And they all promised it would be better.
Someone PLEASE help!! I want my life back!
0 likes, 4 replies
jonboy37910 valentina4991
Posted
In this first instance of reading your post I encourage you to firstly take some deep breaths and know that you are not alone. It sounds as though you have been on quite a challenging treadmill and are still on it. Clearly I hear your dispair.
I am no medical doctor, only a physician of experience, however I hope my contribution may help you on the path to find your own healing.
Your short journey to date sounds as complicated as what mine has been for the past couple of decades. I started where you are now, mirroring so much of what you currently experience. And because I have spent so many years trying to find answers and healing, it is perhaps through my many trials and discoveries I now have experiences which work to keep my wellness better in hand.
I make my own disclaimer however, I only offer my experience, and do not in any way endorse the use of products or methods I have used as the right ones for you.
Anxiety.
The breathing difficulty, I learned the Buteyko Method. Whether asthma or anxiety, this worked for me in relieving the lack of oxygen feeling.
Rescue Remedy Drops. When feeling stress or anxiety attack these drops can help you through the episode.
Self Talk. Use affirming, positive, calming self talk when you are stressed or having anxiety. The worse thing you can do is panic, or become more stressed over your situation. When you are stresseed/anxious, deep slow breathing through the nose from the belly.
All the weird sensations in your body.....you would be amazed what stress/anxiety can do to produce unexplained symptoms in your body. It does sound as though there is an awful lot going on in your body, the anxiety can be a culprit in itself, a vicious cycle to creating further disharmony/symptoms.
I hear you say your head is in a good place, however, something caused your stress and anxiety aside from being stressed and anxious over your not being well? It may be helpful to consider spending time just with a down to earth Counsellor, a little less formal way to simply talk and unpack things?
Right now I encourage you to take back some control over your dispair and try for a start, to focus on finding the way to better manage your anxiety and stress.
I further encourage you to take your holistic health in hand, honor your body in this time of crisis (and beyond) with both nurture and pure clean wholsome foods.
Change your lifestyle. Ditch the coffee, caffine, alcohol, sugar etc.
Your body/mind appear to be in a state of exhaustion, so perhaps don't insist pushing the exercise either. Moderately yes, that is healthy. But sometimes we need to discern when we need to just stop for a while.
I have been overcoming Chronic Fatigue (CFS) and Anxiety for almost 20 years.
I have been down every avenue in that time in search of healing and answers.
In conclusion for myself as to how this manifested, it was several crisis of stress which eventually compounded into long standing anxiety, to the point my body eventually began to shut down in responce.
This resulted in many aspects within the body not functioning to full capacity and as result seconday illness and symptoms resulting. Ongoing stress, Valentina, was my original culprit. I had to find ways deal with and manage all the symptoms yes, but the cause is well part of finding the real cure.
If I knew then what I knew now about stress, being true to myself, and listening to my body I believe I could have vastly circumnavigated such a long journey and been better in control of my health alot sooner.
I encourage you to not just stay strong in mind, but to trust you will find a way through this. Don't give up. Think outside the square. And 'listen' to what you and your body need.
I wish you every success in finding what is right for you, and ultimate answer to your healing.
Blessings
valentina4991 jonboy37910
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Kristo valentina4991
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valentina4991 Kristo
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