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I typed that into a search engine. Found this place and joined.
I had shall we say a low moment when i thought about (once again) how long i have left on this planet, how my life is pretty much a complete waste (and a waste of time), how I have essentially wasted the last 8 months of my life playing games and doing things that do not move me forward in any way, shape or form.
So some background. I have a few things wrong with me, but the main problem is anaphylaxis and my condition is at the more severe end of the spectrum. Throw in a bunch of panic disorders, ocd, general anxiety, pretty bad depression.
So for the allergies I use a lot of steroids, a massive amount of anti-histamines and occasionally the odd bit of adrenaline. The steroids have definitely not helped the depression end of things. I have diazepam for the anxiety/panic side of things but dont take them much due to the addictive properties of benzos. I am allergic to all the ssri/snri/maoi drugs (tried most of every family and hospitalised after every attempt). So no possibilities exist for anti-depressant usage for now. Same goes for several anti-psychs.
Im on the waiting list for 1 to 1 psych/cbt sessions. Am on ESA, so haven't worked for about 8 months. Had to move back in with my parents after living on my own for years. Currently in my 40's.
So anyway, life sucks at present and has done for the last 6 years. This is the fourth time in the last month I've gotten this low. This is more than likely due to taking the pred for almost 4 weeks solid.
I won't ask stupid questions like does it get better. I've been to this point too many times to do that. It does and it doesn't. Just needed to type it out and vent it. Tomorrow I will go to the gym and turn it into something useful.
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