What your doctor didn’t tell you….

Posted , 18 users are following.

Or a light hearted look at post op issues:

1.       You will pee for England (or insert your country here) for at least a week.  Be prepared cos you just won’t be able to control yourself.  If you don’t have a loo near your bedroom, invest in a bucket and pretend you’re glamping.

2.       You will only have the attention span of a gnat.  If you had planned on catching up on reading and/or all those box sets, forget it.  As soon as you start concentrating on that book or the first episode of the box set, you will be asleep.

3.       Be prepared to fall asleep at any point during the day.  At night you won’t be able to get to sleep at all.

4.       Get used to the fact that you’ll have to (not) sleep on your back.  I know very few people who actually sleep on their back by choice.  It is a really uncomfortable position and will result in getting backache after a few hours.

5.       Make sure you have short toenails, especially on the big toes as the pressure from any bedclothes will hurt toes and your heels.

6.       Compression socks – so sexy and comfortable – not.  They are an essential fashion accessory for 6 weeks for all hippies.  Surely they must be classified as a form of torture!

7.       Your operated leg will feel like it weighs a ton for the first week.  It also feels like it doesn’t belong to you. It will get better.

8.       Don’t tell your spouse/family/friends about your op in detail.  They really aren’t that interested and it would be nice if family/friends visited more than once.  Best to just post on to this forum.

9.       Don’t believe the adverts – pre-prepared meals are terrible.  The actual contents have only a passing semblance to the packet photo. The ingredients used are usually the cheapest the manufacture can get away with.  To add insult to injury the portion size is for a child.

10.   Any chocolates/sweets/puddings eaten during your recovery period are deemed to be non-fattening – and don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

 

 

Feel free to add to the list

 

 

10 likes, 70 replies

70 Replies

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  • Posted

    Lol! That's great Chloe, sums it up to a tee! You missed one crucial bit of info though that's soooooooooo important that relates to number 10 - any chocolates/sweets/puddings consumed between 5am & midnight have zero calories as they're made from fresh air!

    • Posted

      Oh you're so right.  How could I have forgotten that crucial piece of information.

  • Posted

    I've forgotten a point.

    11.  Do not sneeze or cough.  It will hurt.  Your friends and family will think you're being completely pathetic for complaining, only other hippies will understand.

    • Posted

      Look like a nerd as Wear one slipper to even out height discrepancy resulting from surgery.Kids keep offering to get my other slipper😊
  • Posted

    Love these.  Very funny.  Could add something about constipation because that always seems to be a big topic!
    • Posted

      Constipation, of course, how could we forget that! That pain is worse than the op itself! Without being too graphic I could have pushed 20 babies out (I haven't got any kids so I've just made this up but that's what it felt like)! X

    • Posted

      LOL. You're right, Fernlady.  I did have two kids and I can tell you that this current pushing hurt more than pushing out my second child!  LOL

    • Posted

      Oh yes, how could I have forgotten that part.....Was absolutely miserable! Thanks....Barb
  • Posted

    Fantastic sums it up nicely.

    12. Bio-oil is the future for itchy scar.

    13. Be prepared for a swollen ankle/foot.

    14. People always saying Ohhh you're too young for a hip replacement what did you do that for??? I'm 39 and was in agony prior to my replacement 7 weeks ago today. Had an horrendous limp and constant pain but now feel like a new woman X

    • Posted

      I bought some Bio-oil pre-surgery -- found it at Costco.  Glad to hear it does work.  I have my staples taken out this week so then I guess I'll have to ask how much longer til I can use the Bio-oil.

  • Posted

    What about sweating buckets every night and feeling like a wrung out rag in the morning.
    • Posted

      Oh, that sounds awful Gwen.  Something I didn't have.  I am long past menopause -- maybe it was some menopausal symptoms for you?  PLus I guess surgeries in general can cause that.  Hope it doesn't last long!

    • Posted

      Oh no Leslie, not menopause unfortunately, I'm well past that! Similar symptoms though and I just thought it was something to do with the whole situation.

      Probably just me ??xx

    • Posted

      absolutely gwen, and for quite a while. ...I am so post menopause during which I never had them. ...

      had to change sleep shirts up to 3 times a night. ...

      definitely ad to list ...

      big warm hug

      Renee 💙 💚

    • Posted

      I had that, so it's nothing to do with menopause.

      According to Rose (see my website) ....  Our immune system is in overdrive to protect us from infection, it is responding to a large injury to our body, and it does not understand the injury was intentional. Night sweats are a sign of a highly functioning and healthy immune system. 

      Graham

    • Posted

      Uh oh.  No night sweats for me......hope my immune system is OK!
    • Posted

      Hi Graham went to your website and it really looks good.Bookmarked it so Can get to it easily.Thanks for doing the work involved in such a website,quite an undertaking
    • Posted

      Thanks,

      Collating the information from people on this forum helped me enormously in my recovery.

    • Posted

      Last night I finally had those night sweats you talked about.  Woke up drenched.  Will be interesting to se if it's a one-Time deal or not.

    • Posted

      Yes, I've got my second THR so it will be interesting to see if it happens again along with the peeing, we must finish up like parchment!

    • Posted

      I can not take the credit for the night sweats info, my consultant told me this was the case when I asked him, as we were all drenched every night!

      PS Leslie lucky you spoke to soon smile 

      PPS They do go you fairly quickly you will be happy to know 

    • Posted

      Hi Rose,

      I was OK last night ..... Won't be surprised if it happens now and then though!

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