When nothing ever seems to get better...

I have to say reading your messages has helped me because i feel very similar and I think a new anti-depressant may be needed as the citlopram did nothing for me nor the Lexapro.  I have ms which also causes depression but i have had some gigantic losses in my life in addition to being in a dv situation for 4 years with an alcoholic.  Just wanted to thank you for your post and for sharing and let you know that it was extremely helpful to me and just reading it made me feel less abnormal and isolated in my life.  

Hi sweetie(: you posted this 8 months ago so I am a bit late haha but I think it is important for you to know that you are not alone. I am 21 and I have all of those same feelings on a day to day basis. From the time I wake up to the time I lay myself back to sleep. I can hardly keep a job and my focus on school bc of the lack of confidence and motivation. But you know what sweets? I bet you are an amazing person. You would probably give the shirt off of your back for someone else. I'm sure of it. There's a lot to being 20. So much gets thrown at you at one time and you're just expected to take it. What are your hobbies? Or what was your favorite thing to do as a child? Bc maybe you could pick that back up to get your mind off of things when needed you know? Don't give up. No matter what you do you keep that strength that you've been having all of these yrs Fight for your happiness and finding/getting to know yourself each day bc you deserve it. I really hope that you are doing okay now and are in a little bit of a better place. And I really hope to hear from you soon I'd like to know that you are well ❤️

Hello.

I also suffer similar symptoms. I have been studying for my GCSE's since the beginning of Yr10, and I am fed up with my life. I have lost pretty much all motivation to do well, as there is no short term reward afterwards. I used to enjoy doing science and going outside, but now life in general seem harsh and cruel.

I suffer from Autism, and all my GCSE's have taught me is that the world doesn't give anything back. You have to TAKE it.

hope this helps...

P.S. do you know where a 16 year old can get that Citalophram stuff? I know it didn't work for you, but it's worth a shot.

The easiest solution, for everything, is to stop caring.

I'm 20 and I've been throught quite a lot to be telling you this. I was studying in 3D animation and had a pretty decent life until I got kicked out of my house. My parents never loved me since I was little and I guess they were tired of seeing my face.

Right after, my girlfriend, that I've been with for 4 years, left me because I had no time for her. I couldn't even go to school anymore. I had to find a place to sleep and things to eat. It wasn't easy. Everybody started rejecting me and avoiding me... I had no one left. I spent many nights sleeping outside not eating a thing. Then I realized what was the most painful thing; loneliness. I tried to kill myself but then my parents decided to rent a little place filled with mouses. Being lonely made me create some imaginary friends and an imaginary world, they are now everything to me.

Believe me I know what real depression is, I know what real life is. And the trick is just to stop caring about anything. When I understood that I could smile again and try in life again. Because if I fail, what will I lose?

Dude, im 29, STILL getting treated like an 9 year old! hahaha, BUT hey? my parents have NEVER said they loved me, nor will they ever say that, hahaha. I've said it and meant it about two times in my 29 years of life.. haha... now im just waiting, not even going to try and start relationships, I understand when you say that that your problems are deep rooted, mine are and  ALWAYS WILL BE too! My parnents if i do say so myself, are freaking selff rooted, THEY HAVE NEVER praised me when i help them, i dont get me wrong, i DO help them, ALL THE TIME in fact... Do i ever hear a thanks, HELL NO! BUT tats how things are in my household annoyingly :-( and im STILL living... ive tried suicide twice

Im guessing you have loving parents unlike mine! :-)

You have way more replys than just mine, so i will leave you be, but if you ever want to talk im sure you you can talk to anyone of the people that has replied to your message.

Take it wasy on yourself, and I hope you keep smiling. :-)

Damn. How you feel is exactly how I feel. I'm really sorry to hear about what you're suffering. You should know that I know full well the feelings you're suffering. I know what suffering feels like. I have been inside out with misery, I have felt numb and I have felt my life I a hole in the past. I have depression and at the moment I am truly suffering like you. And alot of the other people who have commented here. Really what we, depressed people need is to meet people who know exactly what we are going through and mirror our emotions. Ie other depressed people. And by the way when I read about the disgusting m, unnacceptable comments that bitch 'doctor' said to you, I wanted to punch her for you. I have had so called 'proffessionals' and doctors have that filthy attitude towards me when I was screaming inside and suffering, and I wish fir them horrible illnesses on their families, and I have what that bitch

(continued, sorry my phone I being a piece of [removed] at the moment). Just if any of you here want to confide in me, and share our problems and help each other, I really would like to give you my email address and keep in contact with any of you. Only depresses depressed person can truly understand fully wih how another depressed person feels.

Emis Moderator comment: I have edited this post due to the swearing. These are open forums so as per the T&Cs please do not use offensive language in posts otherwise they may be deleted.

I am new to this site.  I hv to say it has restored my fairth that r so many compassionate ppl..  I truly am sorry that the ppl that go into the medical professional do not seem as compassionate.  That being said, ppl that r not depressives do not understand and cannot, apparently, relate to someone who is depressed.  And I hv bem reading the posts (I just joined) and am really amazed at the ppl who hv taken the time to post their thoughts, experiences, etc.   I, too, read ur posts, and u truly r a sensitive, intelligent, person.  I hope that u learn from others like u.  And I agree with u about the med profession. U hv to fight for urself and be ur own advocate.  Pls keep on fighting.   I am 72, and I fight everyday. 

I really wish you happiness and love , don't lose hope , we all have ur good days and bad days . I can relate to you 100% and everything will stabilize in your life . Focus on loving yourself , the answer is inside of you , you will find yourself , just take care of yourself , don't be harsh with yourself . You are an amazing person , I know that ! I can see that by reading your post . You are very humble and Sincere , you are real . Just learn how to love yourself please . I found a great Psychologist 2.5 years ago and I go there every week . I literally spend my last money sometimes just so I can go there , she really helps me to see how I beat myself down 24 hours a day and I use to sabotage myself in order to fail in life and then beat myself down without even realizing it . Find a psychotherapist who counsels in a traditional way , without drugs and other weirdness . A doctor who will help you with self actualization and other trauma that you might not be conscious about . All I can say is I send you my love and support , we are all human and we are very strong species with amazing lives ((:

Don't worry about being likable by other people , Love yourself and the thoughts of being liked by others will fade away . I guarantee your life will get better , just seek support and a safe doctor ((:

Hello,

I've been in such a situation too. The thing about this starts back in your childhood when you used to obey all the orders of the older ones, or at least did that to gain respect, cuz when you are little u feel like you are not that important, and to get that importance you chose to let them make choices for you. The thing is that through the years the intensity of this behaviour grows unconsciously, while you seek more and more respect and acceptance. Without understanding it you become what the others wanted you to become and didnt like it. Now you start not feeling good and the reason is simple, you dont feel anymore like YOU. Like when you were full of life and desires and dreams. But people like us that think a lot tend to fall on the traps. This happens to almost everyone, but they are so full of not being who they are, that they cant even notice anymore. Its a good thing that you are on that state. This means u understand that who you've become was never who you wanted to be. Just turn back into those memories that look so mean to you. And watch them with they free eye just like when you were a child. Just like then when you didn't know what fear is. Just like when they didn't teach you how to be afraid. See they bullied me too at school, but i kept going and when i saw how stupid, we were and how little we knew, i was able to forget him. They will always critisize you for not being perfect, but thats not the purpose of your life. The purpose of your life, is to right now stop whatever you are doing in your mind, and without fear start doing something beautiful around you. Make somebody smile, you will smile too in return. Start changing that routine of passively thinking and just analyzing things through the filters of your past. The places where you feel more secure, are not the places where you wanna be, the places that make you happe is where you wanna be. So dont feel lonely, we are all together, and we will make this world as beautiful as it should be ))

Hi,

I was interested to hear if you're feeling any better?

If not, then, a saying that has always helped me is: dark days are not here to last, they are here to pass.

I also had issues with my sexuality for some time, I am straight, but I had an unrelenting fear that I was gay. These thoughts are now non existent in my mind thanks to the counselling I recieved.

Good luck.

Hi; I am a 35 year old; I hope i may be able to say something helpful to you... No I dont know all the pain you feel or the quiet moments that bring you to your knees... but here is what I know.... i know loss... ive lost my father.... and my brother from 2 very different uncureable illnesses. Within 3 years of each other... leaving. Me to look after my mom. Which left me running her company which hit a recession and me being in 7 armed robberies.... i know about questioning why bother? I am never enough.... how can I possibly make someone else happy if I am not....

Hey

I can't help you with some of what you have written as it's beyond my experience.

However, I can say I during my first year of uni I too was a bit lonely and unhappy. One of the biggest turn around points for me at uni was joining a sports society in my 2nd year. It literally 180'd my experiance of uni.

I still got all my work done but I was happy I had achieve the work/play balance. I think it's important.

I know this might seem insignificant now, but if you get there and meet some cool people it will boost your position. Being involved in a sport will give you an endorphine release and make you feel good too. THe society will occupy your mind too, you you don't dwell so much.  Remember, even if it's just a little boost, it's a victory.

How did you cope? You seem to mature way before you time