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Where to turn to

Posted , 8 users are following.

maxine_89187
maxine_89187

my son has suffered with depression for the past 20 years, I don’t know how to help him anymore. He rarely leaves the house or his room, no friends as they are all getting on with their lives and although included him in the past, he has made excuses not to see them so often that they don’t ask anymore. He’s changed his meds yet again and has been on Duloxetine since March, firstly 30mg but felt terrible on them, up to 60mg in May and did feel more lifted on them but over the past 4 weeks has gone backwards. I’m trying to get him to think about councilling, he is negative about everything and very rarely has positive thoughts, but as ever he says they won’t help, nobody can help. He has been seeing a psychiatrist since Jan but kne he doesn’t really connect with her, he feels she has no empathy but he feels that about everyone. It breaks my heart to see him like this, he so wants to get on with his life but at the same time won’t do anything to break this cycle of being on his own. He works for himself but work has dried up as he hasn’t got any motivation to do it, he has no motivation for anything and I don’t know where to go with this anymore. I’ve offered to pay for private help but still no response, he hates his life but at the same time won’t do anything to change it and he knows it has to be him that does it. Sorry for long post, just don’t know how to help him anymore.

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • karen_90046
    karen_90046 maxine_89187

    Posted

    It’s my 5th week on 60mg if duloxetine and feel they haven’t helped . I’m 50 and been on antidepressants since I was 19 and I found chlomipramine and mirtazapine to be the ones that worked best for me . I know how he feels as I go into myself and not want to see anybody on do anything, a good website is called “ the mighty “ really good tips and advice for all sorts of depressive illnesses 
  • kathleen36610
    kathleen36610 maxine_89187

    Posted

    My heart goes out to you and your Son, I have taken Duloxetine for about 4 years now, I feel better on 30mg but I know everyone is different. The sad fact is that as you have already said your Son has to want to do something about it and I am sure deep down he really does want to, I fully understand what he is feeling like, its as if something keeps holding you back even though you want to change what is happening to you. You cut yourself off from everything and everyone, you don;t want to be around happy people, because society does not like miserable people !!. I saw a Phsycologist for months and all she did every time I saw her was to let me talk for an hour, this is supposed to be the therapy, and I ended up telling her I felt loads better and she discharged me. I know the root of my depression, I am just wondering if you Son knows that, I think he hates himself but there must be a reason for it, sometimes it takes someone who has suffered depression to share their story and allows him to share his with a like minded person. Do you think he would join the group? To me Duloxetine does lift my mood but I also have spells where I can get really depressed as well and I just want to lock myself in my bedroom and for everyone to leave me alone until I feel better, I have Fibromyalgia as well and Depression is unfortunately one of the symptoms and I believe that most people who suffer from pain are also Depressed !!. I hope that this helps and your Son gets the help he needs 
  • lin06321
    lin06321 maxine_89187

    Posted

    I am not a mental health intensive case manager anymore, but I was for years  While you can help with the serotonin imbalance but there are factors as far as situational or (in my case) seasonally.  The meds definitely help be a lot but this year we had a horrible winter and I've had a tough time.  Plus, I switched from Cymbalta to Effexor because my insurance company had issues with me not using the cheaper ed in this class.  If your son goes off it, be aware it will make the depression worse.  Is it possible he already tapered off or is not taking it?  That is common.  

    A therapist is an important move, IMO, if you can afford to do this.  Some mental health centers still have a sliding scale, though tax cuts/reduction in MH funding makes that tougher sometimes.

    Getting him outside and moving will help a lot, and I get him not wanting that.  I struggle with that too, but that's a symp0tom of depression.

    Good luck to you, I hope he is able to feel better soon.

  • geoffrey86645
    geoffrey86645 maxine_89187

    Posted

    Hi Maxine sorry to hear of your son's suffering. I suffered from Anxiety and depression and after no joy with drugs supplied by doctor paid privately for a senior psychiatrist. He  prescribed pregabalin for the anxiety and duloxetine for the depression .Fortunately, I am now feeling very well and only take 30mg of duloxetine every other day. With regard to your son, he must try and get out to meet people and be prepared to talk about his feelings with a friend or someone he feels will be sympathetic. Most rational people are, particularly now mental health is no longer something to be ashamed of. I will happily talk to your son (I am a retired teacher with years of pastoral experience, dealing with a wide range of issues including mental health, although I am no expert on mental health ) I am in no doubt however talking about his feelings to someone would help your son.

     

  • karen_90046
    karen_90046 maxine_89187

    Posted

    Your son can talk directly to us because there’s nothing we haven’t been through or going through. I’m shutting myself at the moment but do 2 afternoon s in a charity shop . When I’m out I’m smiling and fake but can’t wait to get home and get back to my routine 
  • shannon48514
    shannon48514 maxine_89187

    Posted

    Ask his doctor to refer him to cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy) it's not like the regular therapy. And my doctor agreed it is the most effective. Xx

    • jan_68061
      jan_68061 shannon48514

      Posted

      CBT, DBT and wellness plan.  He needs an IDT program for one month within a small group.  It's confusing but within a few weeks it's easy too understand.  

      CBT involves emotions, thoughts, behaviours and physical sensations.

      DBT involves emotional mind, rational mind and wise mind.  An IDT program which is properly run is the best route to go.  People out there don't even know places like this exist.  Google Marsha Linehan she started DBT. 

  • jan_68061
    jan_68061 maxine_89187

    Posted

    Your kid sounds like me.  Where are are you located in.  Forget the pills.  If he can get in touch with me I can help him direct him in the right path to recovery.  I've had many lapses and relapses with depression/anxiety.  If he wants to to be on the right path have him contact me here. I was one of fastest patients to recover from depression /anxiety. I'm just getting over my duloxetine withdrawals.   Your boy sounds just like me.  When I was in sessions I'd look at the newbies and I'd say wtf that was exactly me.   Proper teaching and believe me you don't need meds anymore.  Lots of ppl don't want to get better but believe me  if one applies themselves that person will change into a different person. I don't smoke drink or gamble no more.  I have God to thank for looking over me.   I suffer from chronic knee pain and my exwife has AML leukemia and I've had many other stressors but know I'm able to support her and talk with my kids peacefully.  A lot of people out depressed and have no clue on how to get better and waste 20-30 years of there life.  That's why a lot of people get in trouble with the law.  The system sucks believe me.   No one has to be alone.  Get your son out. Support him not finiancely either.  Just be there for him.  Make him a coffee have him shower baby steps.  Once he starts getting of isolation he will start to feel different.  The parasite will come into his head causing him to be tired again.  I will explain to him how to beat it.  It's not hard. Bottom line your son is not the person who he is suppose to be.  With guidance he will surprise your family and then he will find his new friends.  Your son has wasted 20 years.  I've been there.  That's enough for now.  

  • frazzled
    frazzled maxine_89187

    Posted

    I'm soooo sorry to know of this.  Depression is a hard nut to crack and Duloxetine if really nasty for most people to withdraw from. 

    Question:  I am a pen pal to a 15 year old gal.  She is disabled and will prob. end up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.  Our letters seem to cheer us both up.  Do you think your son would be interested?  How old is he?  Just a thot.  I know all about depression and panic disorder which I've suffered since age 16 and I won't see 60 again sooooo. 

     

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