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Whoever I speak to says ...

Posted , 16 users are following.

Jayive
Jayive

It seems whenever I explain why I'm struggling to cope with standing or taking a few steps the person I'm talking to will reply with, my husband, mother, friend etc had a hip replacement and got over it in a couple of weeks and was able to go back to work. Then they usually continue with they've never heard of anyone having problems afterwards.

From what I read on here there are many of us with major problems following THR's so my question is, Are we not shouting loudly enough to let the world know that having a replacement joint doesn't always work out?

3 likes, 48 replies

48 Replies

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  • roadglide1959
    roadglide1959 Jayive

    Posted

    Hello Jayive,

    roadglidd1959 here again. Everyone here seems to have the same consensus. Once we answer peoples questions about how we are doing. They don't seem to have an interest in our well being any more.

    I'm a motorcycle rider, or should I say I was a motorcycle rider. I sold Harley's for 4 years, and proudly maintained the status of staying in the top 5% of Harley sales consultant's nationwide consistently on a monthly basis. And was everyone's favorite go to guy for great professional assistance. All of my clients were sympathetic about my surgery. But once they learned that I wasn't doing the greatest. And that I now needed the second surgery. I didn't receive any more calls or inquiries about my recovery.

    I guess that goes to show you. That in our electronic deviced world. There is no time for personalization any more. This is so sad for our society. Nobody cares for our people in todays world. We don't take the time or make the effort to have concern about our fellow man. And if you turn the clock back just 5 years. We didn't need these Electronic devices to get through our daily lives. In the sales world, we have a moto of 'K.I.S.S.' Which means, Keep It Simple Stupid. And I myself have always had the rule of P.M.A., Positive Mental Attitude. Now days I find it difficult at times to do so.

    I don't believe that any of us, are looking for sympathy. Just maybe a little compassion from our friends, relatives and acquaintances. Why is that so much to ask? And above all, why is that to much to ask from our medical care givers? Isn't that why they're in the medical industry? I guess money is the root of all evil...

    Through this blog, I am researching my second THR with a lot of vigor and apprehension. I'm not sure who posted it earlier. With the medical technology and science of today. These procedures should be second nature by now. The guess work should be over with.

    Okay, I've babbled on long enough. I wish each and every one of you the best and good health. Remember, P.M.A.

    roadglide1959

    • Jayive
      Jayive roadglide1959

      Posted

      Hi Roadglide,

      Well now at least I know where your name comes from. I can picture you out on the road with all your gear on. What a great way to be!

      I rode pillion with my partner once, we were hit by  a car and I awoke in hospital, it took a long time for me to recover from the injuries and I've never been brave enough to get on a bike since.

      As you say, nowadays we all communicate by electronic means and therefore get to correspond with people from long distances, people we would never meet in normal circumstances, but at least we can do this and in a way it helps us in our long and lonely life post THR.

      I'm sat here with the sun shining and the birds singing out in the trees so guess it will be a good day.

      Keep in touch, rant when you need to, we're all in this together. jay

    • juliette39133
      juliette39133 roadglide1959

      Posted

      I have had my daughter in law take it personally that I was unable to help out with looking after my grandson after my operations. After taking care of the eldest two days a week whilst she worked, I did not even get a bunch of flowers or a visit during the long weeks stuck inside after the op. Two of who I thought were my closest friends ignored me completely. That was a huge learning curve for me as I realised that people saw me as a strong capable woman who was there to support them. Consequently my weakness frightened them and everything was all about them. Obviously I have nothing to do with them now but it still hurts. As I say, a big lesson.
    • eileen64__UK
      eileen64__UK juliette39133

      Posted

      Hi Juilette

      You soon learn who your true friends are dont you.

      I know I did......i couldnt keep up with them or do everything they could so that was it......they werent interested

      I'm so pleased to be a volunteer for Arthritis Care......our branch is very lively. We go on day outingings, we go on holidays. Branch meetings once a month.

      At least we are all in the same boat and everyone understands.

      We do seated zumba LOL   Its funny wink With me its my hips I've got to be careful with, other people cant lift their arms high because of shoulder pain everyone is different but the same.....its the same with the yoga

      We also have a walking group......that means walking unaided, walking with a stick, crutches, walker or even on a scooter  but we have a good day out and naturally end up with coffee and cake somewhere and a good chat

      Love

      Eileen

    • debbie04463
      debbie04463 juliette39133

      Posted

      I sympathise with you Juliette, my THR was last November and my daughter was returning to work in following April. Thought I would be able to cope by then but didn't anticipate the nerve damage changing things. I was worried because even in February I had very weak muscles and my knee would give way. I wondered how on earth I would manage, but I told her not to worry I would mange somehow. By the time she went to work I was more confident still using a crutch indoors but had a legbrace to stop me falling when I looked after grandson (1 year old). I am now not using the brace or crutch indoors but have to use outdoors. I also pick up two granddaughters from school. I drive there and put my grandson in the buggy and use one stick and support myself pushing the buggy with one hand. Only a shortwalk but challenging. I am now going to be looking after a grandaughter of 10 months sometimes on the same days (grandson 3 days a week) but I won't let it beat me. It is hard but very rewarding for me knowing that I have some use! I can't understand how your daughter in law had that attitude very selfish. Though i do have to remind my daughter that though I do look after her children that it is not easy. She is always asking me to babysit in the evenings and sometimes in the day when she is not working. The trouble is they can't feel our pain! My friends took a while to visit me but they are very busy working full time. But they were there for me when I had my car accident 22 years ago so we are still friends. I suport them in bad times as well. I am afraid the some people are selfish and we cant change them.
  • linda71867
    linda71867 Jayive

    Posted

    I'm 6 weeks post op, I realised there were always risks from surgery, everyone I had spoken to said they where either back on their feet in no time or knew of someone who was , it's great they said . Few weeks after my op I lay awake in the early hours having taken more painkillers due to back pain , leg pain ,muscle pain , groin pain ,you get the picture worrying if all these pains where normally ?  was I normal ? Was life ever going to be the same again ? Nobody else had this much pain else they would of said wouldn't they ? After deciding something had gone wrong with my op or I was a complete whimp I picked up my iPad to find out which and glory halluah I found this website , I cried it was a miracle I was infact normal !! We'll as normal as I have ever been anyway. Thank you everyone who has posted your comments and experiences. I will do the same in a hope that I will also make someone feel normal again in the early hours of the night
    • debbie04463
      debbie04463 linda71867

      Posted

      Hi Linda I agree this site is great. I did the same as you, looked on the internet for anyone that had the same problems as me. I only heard the positives. I was beside myself thinking why the hell did I agree to have it done. It was actually like a living hell for me for the first 3 months. I am still suffering but at least I can identify with others and I have come to terms with it. Before the op the NHS don't go into any detail of what are the consequenses if things don't quite go right. I would have been better prepared to cope I am sure. They don't tell you about muscle spasms; which were excrutiating for me the first 3 weeks. Surely that should be mentioned as I thought I was going to have them for the rest of my life! Empathy to all of us who have gone through this.

      Debbie

    • stella97565UK
      stella97565UK debbie04463

      Posted

      I came to this site for the same reasons as I was experiencing some pains post-op.  It's been such a support and encouragement to know that there are others who have had similar problems.  I suppose the drs can't tell you all the complications that might occur as then you'd go off and worry about them but it would be nice to know that sometimes things don't go according to plan so that you don't feel as if you should be recovering like 'everyone else'. At the end of the day, everyone is different and that's why 'conveyor belt' surgery will never work. You can't say everyone will recover from hip surgery in a certain amount of time because one person might be fine after 4 weeks and another person still suffering from complications months or even years later.  Each case should be treated individually.  Linda and Debbie, I'm sure your words have offered encouragement to many.  Thank you.
    • sue87388_UK
      sue87388_UK linda71867

      Posted

      Hi Linda, 

      Welcome to the site, its a great stress reliever at times.  You are in the very early stages still and hopefully everything will improve for you.  We are all different and recover in our own time and have our own experiences.  Go at your own pace, you know your own body regardless of what the consultants and physiotherapists say.  Keep us all posted on your progress.

  • eamonn1973
    eamonn1973 Jayive

    Posted

    Hi Jayne

    I have to agree no all THR are perfect.  I had a left THR at 41 years of age, while the pain is less than it was before the surgery 18 mths on I still have pain.  While I don't have pain all the time it still reminds me it's there and I still

    Have bad days.  I am on quite a lot of strong opiate painkiller while waiting on my right hip I still have pain in the left side.  I think people may have a reduction in pain I have been told by consultant that it ca take up 18 months for everything to fully settle down.  The purpose of this forum is to help people with problems not to look at success stories.  That's my opinion anyway hope things get better for you 

  • alexis_a_5
    alexis_a_5 Jayive

    Posted

    You are completely right hip replacements don't always work, but half of the time or more the reason they don't work is caused by the patient themselves. If you do anything different from what the doctor tells you to do, you can ruin it. Those first 6 weeks are crucial, you have to follow exactly what the doctor says, even if you feel like you can do something if the doctor didn't say do it don't do it.  

    But you are certainly correct, there are some bodies that reject it, and it is horrible for the person, my body had rejected so many screws that have been put into my back. But it is certainly not the doctors fault, they don't know that it's not going to work before they do it

    • eileen64__UK
      eileen64__UK alexis_a_5

      Posted

      Hi Alexis

      A lot of it could be made clearer by the NHS......dont know where you are from?

      This is my 2nd one and both times I've obeyed the 6 week/90 degree angle very strictly but am still left on crutches for the rest of my lifesad

      The first THR was fine.....did all the exercises they told me to {p[iece of paper sent home with me from hospital!!!!} 2nd one....did all the exercises etc......until  weeks post op......doing one where you put your hands on the table and put your leg out to the side to strengthen the muscle.   Crack......the outcome of it was a fratured greater  trochanter bone which I was told at the beginning would heal eventually but would take a long time. The hospital could do nothing. I then spoke tomy own consultant and he said I know younlkie straight answers.....NO it will never heal. etc

      Apparently when I requested a DEXA scan after them sending me home the result was osteoporosis!!!!! I knew I had osteopinia but 2 years ago the GP had said just life changes and forget about it for the minute

      I insist that there should be a warning on some of these exercises that if you have OP or anything similar be careful....dont do them

      Medicines have all sorts of silly warnings on them.......like childrens medicine......do not drive eek do not operate heavy machineryeek and so on. So why cant we have warnings on other things????????

      Eileen

    • alexis_a_5
      alexis_a_5 eileen64__UK

      Posted

      I do know how you feel, I had 4 surgeries on my left hip, and all of the doctors thought they knew what was best for me but really none of those surgeries would ever work because of the way my hip was. It can become very frustrating to do everything the doctors say and nothing work. I was diagnosed with perthes disease in my left hip when I was 9, I was sent to many different doctors, they cut muscle, they cut bone, they reshape my hip, they moved my hip around and none if it worked because when they were performing the surgeries my hip was still going through the process. 

      Finally a hip replacement worked for me. 

      I hope things get better for you!

  • bethan04260
    bethan04260 Jayive

    Posted

    My THR came out after 3 nights and following the revision, my femoral nerve was damaged. I was on crutches for 6 months, unable to drive for 5. Then it seemed to improve. 12 months on, I can walk without crutches on flat ground, but as I have chronic arthritis in the knee on the opposite leg, and my quads and VMO have atrophied in the THR leg ( because of the femoral nerve injury), I cannot walk very far or stand for long without intense pain and discomfort. I'm only 54. Luckily, I can cycle, which I do every day. But I'm becoming extremely depressed and this forum is a help, I think. Too early to say - only just discovered it. But sharing helps. Sick of people's eyes glazing over when I try to explain what's happened to me. I would like to meet and chat with others who have/are going through the same thing. The consultants are no help at all when it comes to dealing with our emotional state.

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