why am i convinced that i'm going to die soon??
Posted , 5 users are following.
hi, I'm 17 and I've written in this site before but am desperately in need of help and so I'm writing again
I have the weirdest completely unwanted mental obsession with death. and it terrifies me, death in itself and the fact that it seems to never leave my mind.
about 2 months ago I was struck by the fear that I was going to die that night. it felt so real and I got scared and I had a panic attack that night
this fear continued on for 2 whole months, daily I would get the thoughts that I was dying soon and every morning I would wake up and the first thought I ever had was "oh I'm alive"
my whole day was spent with pressure on my chest and sometimes it got much worse in the day with heart palpitations and lump in my throat
the thoughts got worse. my little sister would ask me to play with her I wouldn't want to but my mind would go "play with her she'll be sad when you're gone"
my exams are happening right now and I'd start studying for it and my mind would be so convinced that i would never even get to give exams
this conviction scares me the most
the anxiety with the thoughts faded out and now its just the thoughts with a little bit of the anxiety from time to time, the panic attacks have become alot more infrequent
but he thoughts and conviction is still there and it terrifies me
sometimes I am able to talk back to it but I'm never so sure talking back to it
I've heard of people who knew they were going to die and then they did and I'm terrified of this I really hope this isn't that
I spoke to my parents about it and they told me it's nothing it'll go away but the thoughts are still there - my mother was giving away some clothes to charity she picked out a shirt of mine that I really like and I was going to say I want to keep it but my mind says "you'll be gone in a little while let someone have it"
I woke up from a nap and was tired and I thought "I just want to sleep until I die" and the feeling I got from it was that it's either tonight or a couple of nights from now, not like a simply exaggerated sentence
can anyone relate to this? does it go away?
(I had my first panic attack a couple of months back and i felt like i was actually dying, it was kind of the first time I realized my mortality)
(this has been happening for more than 2 months I'd say roughly 3 or 4 but it wasn't so bad then, it got a lot worse after I lost my grandmother 2 months ago)
0 likes, 6 replies
Jasper1375 eemaan59171
Posted
Hello,
well .. I was 17 myself when that all started ... although my growing up was around a war-monger father and high anxiety response mother. , that screwed me up...
The catalyst was when I got a caffeine kick at work, I would drink a full pot of coffee in a sitting each night. Then on the way home Boom! I got my first impending doom of death Anxiety.
i was plagued for 2 years .. gladly a minister shared what really happens when we die to me & treating my low blood sugar issues cured me. ( Ecclesiastes 9:5, John 5:28, 29’ and the best Revelation 21:3, 4)...
later in life the fear of What If still stuck around. I studied medicine, psychology, health conditions and nutrition...
Too much knowledge backfired on me ..
Turns out I’m very OCD... thoughts collide into conclusions that are not real.
all I can tell you is that there is in order to die there needs to be some major complication with your body. It is so rare that people just die because they feel like they’re going to.
take it from me who is age 43 now, who is going to die probably 100 times or more I am still here with a perfect bill of health.
eemaan59171 Jasper1375
Posted
paul36323 eemaan59171
Posted
Hi
Sorry to hear you are experiencing this at such a young age. I have the same thoughts and it's horrid. If someone else has said this then please forgive me I haven't read comments. But this kind of thinking falls within the OCD bracket. You can get help for it. Talk to your gp/ doctor if you havnt already. I can't offer more advise than that...oh excercise helps actually. Pushing your body reminds you of how strong you are.
Hope you take a little comfort knowing that other people go through the same thing...and we are all still very much here. Hope you get the help you need.
Don't delay
Paul x
eemaan59171 paul36323
Posted
thank you so much for your reply! this was reassuring
I did speak to a doctor and was prescribed 10mg of inderal a day, which I think is too little but still it isn't anxiety that I suffer with the most, it's the thoughts that eventually become too much and trigger an anxiety attack
at one point I suspected these to be intrusive thoughts but then haven't found any incidences of people who have had a similar experience
I do plan on getting into therapy after my exam are over but that may take another 3 weeks and that feels like a really long time, I have to constantly convince myself I'll be around till then
again, thankyou for helping
paul36323 eemaan59171
Posted
It is anxiety but specific. Health anxiety/hypochondria and mine brings on huge panic attacks which in turn makes the thoughts/anixety worse. Don't worry about how it's labelled. If you are worried your havnt been prescribed correctly then make a return visit.
Drugs to take some time to take affect though. Good luck with your exams.
Paul
paige43616 eemaan59171
Posted
hiya, i'm struggling with the exact same thing, did it get better for you im 17 and i'm so scared i'm going to die soon, this has been going on for a year now