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Got up this morning at 5am. Had 4 hours sleep. My memory is crap. Cant even make a cup of tea without something going wrong, like i forget to boil the kettle. Sat in a bath of cold water last night cause i forgot to put the hot water on.
Now my mum is ill. Has to go to hospital next week. I am terrified. And i feel so selfish. Heres me sat on my ass at home when she is working wondering what is wrong with her. I am so selfish i hate myself.
Want to get drunk but have no money to buy anything.
This is my fifth week off work, on tablets and therapy.
I am giving up more and more every day.
I put on a show to others but inside i am just an empty pit of despair and a total waste of space.
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