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Basically i'm 22 and i've had anxiety for around 2 years now, it affects people in different ways and gives different symptoms - my main and biggest symptom is chest pain. This might turn in to a long post so apologies for that.
When I first got anxiety I had chest pain and dizziness but I managed to convince myself that it was anxiety after 2 ECG's and one stress ECG, both coming back clear and it went away for a couple of months, I even remember thinking 'been ages since those chest pains haha' but then one day they come back again and since then I havent managed to shake them off. The chest pains started to happen when I was doing excercise, i went for one run and at the end it felt like I had a stitch in my chest. I went for another ECG and another stress ECG and both come clear again, like all the doctors told me 'its nothing, its just anxiety get on with your life' so I tried to get on with things but I just couldn't get it out of my head about these chest pains, especially while I was excercising, when im running i'd be constantly concentrating on my chest, waiting for any little pain to happen.
So I went back to the doctors again, this time it was a student doctor around 25 years old but he was really good, told me that I was his last patient and that we could spend as long as we wanted going over what's happened. I explained to him all that's happened and he said I can't see it been anything at all, but we'll do a physical on you anyway. So I laid on the bed and he listened to my chest like every other doctor has who i've seen, he tells me to sit down but he says 'ill be honest, i didn't expect to find anything when I was doing the physical but you've actually got a heart murmur' Now i've got bad health anxiety, and to hear a doctor say that to me just nearly sent me over the edge, I was so scared i just went bright red and my body just went like jelly. He said there's only 1% chance there's something wrong at my age but it's worth checking out anyway just incase so we'll refer you to a cardioligist, with my anxiety that just went straight over my head, i've got all these chest pains now ive got a murmur, i've 100% got something wrong with my heart at the age of 22, gutted.
It took 2 weeks to see a cardioligist and for those 2 weeks I just couldn't function, at work I was just at my work like a zombie not doing anything. I was so close to crying a few times devasted that i've got something wrong with my heart at 22 and that it's going to change my life forever, i can't do this and that anymore. I was googling stuff like I always do and i diagnosed myself with Mitral valve prolapse, which is a prolapsed heart valve, i was 100% certain i had it and warned my girlfriend to expect that diagnosis. She told me that i was been stupid and that if this comes back clear im off to see a specialist to sort my problems out because i'd self diagnosed myself like 10 times before with something serious and it's always come back clear. My chest pains increased big time over these two weeks, me and my girlfriend had a weekend away planned which we had to go to but i just couldn't wait for it be over, I just wanted every day to pass till I saw this cardioligist. I slept like 6 hours every night, never got a full nights sleep, couldn't lay on my left hand side because it gave me palpitations. Exhausted was an understatement, but the day finally come to see the cardioligist, he didn't seem too bothered about the whole thing, maybe it was because of my age? As i understand it theres different murmurs, different sounds different loudness etc, so maybe thats how he knew but he listened to my chest, confirmed I had a murmur but said hes 'almost certain its an innocent one' but he said be for an echocardiogram and a 72 hour ECG just incase, he said 20 years a go i'd listen to your chest, work out if i think the murmur is innocent/harmless and that would be it but he said its so easy to do that tests now that we do it anyway. He did a quick ECG there and then and it was all fine again. I told my girlfriend and she was over the moon that the cardioligist said hes almost certain its nothing, but to me i was still in 100% panic mode, that meant nothing to me, all that mattered to me was those test results, which i suppose is my anxiety.
So I went for my echocardiogram yesterday morning, slept about 4 hours the night before, so nervous. I was telling myself I'd be the happiest person in the world if this woman said my echocardiogram was normal and that she backed up what the cardioligist said with the heart murmur been normal/innocent. I walked into the room and laid on the bed etc and the test got under way, i was that nervous the woman even asked me if my heart was always quite high but i said its just because i'm anxious. It's a wierd test, you can hear all your blood flowing through your heart bubblign away and your laid there thinking 'is that normal?' But she completed the test and at the end I asked if everything was alright. She said 'I'm not meant to tell because the cardioligist see there arse a bit, they like to be the one to tell you but between you and me, there was nothing wrong there, from a structural point of view your heart is fine'
So my echo was all clear, the heart murmur is innocent and my heart is structurally fine, i should be the happiest guy in the world after 2 weeks of worrying hell i've had? I had a 5 minute burst of happiness but now i'm still worrying about my heart, i still dearn't sleep on my left hand side last night. I'm absolutley exhausted I feel like I just went to sleep for days and forget about everything, I've now had 6 ECG's, 2 Stress ECG's and echocardiogram, everythings come back clear so why can't i just convince myself my heart fine and that's anxiety causing all these symptoms I've still got the 72 hour ECG to go this friday so we'll see if that picks anything up but the heart murmur is diagnosed with the echo which come back all clear but like i say lets see what this 72 hour ecg comes back as. Ive got a follow up appointment with my cardioligist booked for the 3rd September where he'll run through my results with me and i'd like to think i'll get better hearing it from him that my hearts fine and off I go, but I know deep down that any normal person would be happy with the echo coming back fine, blaa
That turned out to be a lot longer post than i thought! Thanks to anybody who takes the time to read it all, it's much appreciated. My girlfriend is now telling me to go talk someone about my anxiety because she says im been stupid and i'm starting to think thats a good idea.
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