1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

why can’t i just be happy..?

Posted , 7 users are following.

mariah2410
mariah2410

it’s been a while since i’ve had one of those nights where i can’t fall asleep.. one of those nights where all those thoughts pile up and can’t leave my head. it’s very cold.. my body is freezing and my heart is even colder. i am beginning to truly realize how alone on this earth i am, and it really truly sucks.. why are there so many people yet anyone can feel so alone? i hate this feeling, and i can’t shake it no matter what i tell myself.. i keep trying so hard to have a normal life, good days, and be happy, but everytime i try something just happens to go wrong. something bad happens, and i’m back at the same place again. i don’t want to have to tell people i’m not okay, cause then they’ll ask why when you know deep down they could care less, and sometimes it’s just easier to lie and say you’re alright when really you’re on the verge of tears or you’re feeling heartbroken, useless, lonely, and yet you just think to yourself “just tell them what they want to hear, cause it’s so much easier than explaining why you can’t seem to be happy..”. and of course, i’ll have okay days, but at the end of them i always end up with these cold feelings and they don’t seem to go away.. i’ve said before if i could feel nothing i would, and i know that in life you need emotions, you aren’t always going to be happy, you’ll feel other things, sad, upset, just terrible and i understand it’s a part of life but what i can’t wrap my head around is why is it that i always seem to feel terrible, or sad, or upset..? and when i’m happy i think to myself “am i really happy? or am i playing myself?” i don’t think i’ve felt genuinely happy in a long time, or maybe it was that i never was actually happy..? 

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • joanne58498
    joanne58498 mariah2410

    Posted

    Hi. You need to seek some help and support. People will care. You have been trying to be step g for too long and yoyr body and mind gas had enough. See your Dr. Confide in a family member or friend. We are all here for you. You will never be alone on this forum. You need some help and support to get you back to feeling better. Take care
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane mariah2410

    Posted

    Hello Mariah I think feeling alone and isolated is a very hard place to be and depression feeds on that and the vicious cycle is that depression causes it. P Things can get better by calling your doctor making an appointment and telling them exactly what you have told us. There are good meds today to help us feel better and counseling. We will support you through this. You will never be alone again. Diane. 
  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 mariah2410

    Posted

    Please see or go back to a professional. I know how you feel. People don’t want to hear and I tell them everything is ok when it isn’t. When I feel happy I’m always afraid something bad will happen because I don’t always feel happy. And I always seem to p**s somebody off. I go to a professional and take meds because I was afraid of the way I was feeling. Please go. 
    • mariah2410
      mariah2410 carmela45627

      Posted

      hi carmela, i wish i could seek professional help but i really can’t at this time, all i have is this site, i appreciate your support though and thank you for your replies smile 
  • hypercat
    hypercat mariah2410

    Posted

    Why can't you seek help at the moment?  Do you have to pay for it or something?  Have a look at a very good site called 7 cups of tea.  There are no professional counsellors on there but lots of volunteer ones and if you want you can have a 1 2 1 session with someone who will just listen to you get it all off your chest.  I have used it a couple of times and I must admit have felt better afterwards.  Worth a go?

    Or you can contact the Samaritans either by phone or email.  x

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 mariah2410

    Posted

    I know what it is like to feel so alone and I feel really bad for you feeling this way. It is terrible . You need meds. You need professional help. We will always be here for you but we would love to see you feel better. Unfortunately we all need and take meds here. We have been through it we know how you feel. Is there any assistance for you medically. I mean if you walked into a hospital telling them how you are feeling would they hook you up?
    • mariah2410
      mariah2410 carmela45627

      Posted

      hospital is too expensive, it is fine for now. i will get the meds i need eventually, it'll take time though. i will just keep writing out my feelings, it is the most help i can receive right now.

    • joanne58498
      joanne58498 mariah2410

      Posted

      We are here for you. I guess I am lucky living in the UK to be able to get the help I need. I pay for meds but all therapy is done through our nhs. If you have a bad moment hour day whatever reach out here and we will try to help you x
  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 mariah2410

    Posted

    Mariah

    You are not alone. We will always be here for you. We will always support you. We do care about you. You are right people do not want to hear it I think it scares them. The only people who understand are the ones going through it. That is why you need to keep coming back to us for support. We have and are going through it so we understand where you are coming from. A dr and meds can help. Please seek professional help. Did something trigger this? Or have you been like this?

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.