Why do I do this and how can I stop it?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi guys. Basically I have a sort of ritual, of such, where if I don't do something on time or a particular way, I have an absolute compulsion to self harm. I have struggled with self harm for years but this is pretty new. For example, If I'm not ready for 10:15am, for example, and I get ready at 10:16am I would need to self harm. If I manage to get ready at 10:20am, I would need to self harm twice, etc. The severity also changes dependant on what I'm being tasked to do. I feel like someone is challenging me to do it like another thing is if I flush the toilet and pass a certain spot welcomes a new self harm. I have tried doing the opposite; if I get ready ON TIME, i won't need to self harm etc. It hasn't seem to work. Does anyone else get this? and if so how do you stop?

ps I have asd,mdd,gad,tricho,agoraphobia

Thanks !

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  • Posted

    Hi there, this sounds like an OCD type of thing. You say you already self-harmed, so it's like you have incorporated this into the OCD compulsion. The only thing I can think is to try something else that won't cause as much harm, like putting an elastic band round your wrist and pinging that instead. But you need to speak to your doctor or therapist and tell them this has started happening. I think you need help with this right now, as it sounds like it's making you harm yourself regularly, and needless to say - that is not good! And if it is an OCD thing then you will need help to combat this as, from experience, getting rid of one OCD compulsion just means another will pop up in it's place. Please seek help for this, and good luck.

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  • Posted

    Sounds like very bad OCD to me too as well, like another user has said. I incorporated self harm into my ocd since I was in highschool. To me, from then on things went downhill, I ended up studying what my family forced me to do, and I was no longer top of the class. Sounds petty, but in my mind it was very humiliating. Whenever I couldn't finish a task on time for school, I had a surgical knife and I would scar my face, then burn the wounds with alcohol.

    My face was full of scabs, and one time I was asked if I had fallen off a motorcycle or something. To me scarring the face was important, because it was an act of humiliation (had some history of abuse that led me into this). This carried on to a far lesser degree when I got into university, and now I am happy to say it's a thing of the past. I went through counselling, and despite that not being effective for my depression, it helped me temper my ocd.

    I learnt that self-love is important. I also starved myself a couple of times, and last year I was in a very bad physical state. I'm not sure about you, but to me self-harm was a way of punishing myself, because I hated myself. Just like you, I hated if I didn't wake up on time and follow my routine to a T. I would self harm in the end, simply because I left the house 20 minutes later than I planned. I thought of myself as so useless that I can't even follow some simple tasks in the day properly, let alone govern my whole life. I don't know how much any I said has helped you, but at least I hope that through my anecdotal experience you could see that your not alone. As the first user said, definitely get in touch with your GP and/or counsellor. For me, learning to love myself a bit every day, to groom myself better, to feed myself better, and to rest myself has helped me evade this vicious circle I was caught in. Take care, and I wish you all the best x

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  • Posted


    I Read your Condition And it sounds like a bed.To harm Yourself, It Healed scars on the forearm from prior self-harm. Self-harm, also known as self-injury, is defined as the intentional, direct injuring of body tissue, done without suicidal intentions. The desire to self-harm is a common symptom of borderline personality disorder.

    I want to give suggestion to you meet a consultant doctor and explain the problem which is suffered by you.Recognize what he said and After that you see himself. 

    Thank You!


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  • Posted

    Thank you it’s for your amazing replies. I thought it sounded like OCD too (in retrospect) but I really unsure. I will speak to my psychiatrist. The thing is with replacing it, I have STRICT rituals because of ASD, so it has to be one specific thing although I’m trying SO hard to combat this. I haven’t done it in 3 days! Thanks again all!!
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