Why do I feel so detached from myself?
Posted , 3 users are following.
So to provide a bit of background, I am on the verge of turning 19 and currently have the summer off approaching university in September. I finished my final college year May and I've been off since.
Leaving college, I started to notice a decline in my attitude towards life in general and this has gotten me worried seeing as I can sense that there has been a change to myself but I can't quite figure out why
exactly. I have gone through anxiety for a few years although as of recently it has died down quite a bit.
Let me try and explain my perspective in terms of being 'detached'. Most of the time for the past month i have constantly felt like I am not actually my physical self, instead just spectating at the back of my mind. I tend to find it difficult to take in information and keep stressing for either nothing or the smallest of things. Unlike myself before the past month, it just seems like I am trapped within my mind and I can't think or act beyond a certain range.
Here are some instances in which I feel 'detached' from myself and reality:
On occasions in which I've been out and met up with friends, when in situations where I am with them for periods of time on a given day I begin to feel disassociated from them and then gradually zone out and not speak as much as I would when I first see them. Away from meeting in person I find it difficult to message my closest friends as it just seems like I've got nothing to speak about.
At work, I have sometimes slip out of reality despite myself knowing the importance of the current situation. As I am serving behind a counter I am required to serve customers which I am comfortable doing, but it always seems like right after each instance I just zone out into the 'detached' state.
I have been invited to gatherings recently which I am more than happy to go to, but part of my mind keeps bringing up the 'zoning out' scenario in which I can anticipate myself in this situation. From this I begin to think that I am unable to communicate and speak to people who I consider less acquainted. In addition, my mind sometimes leads me to believe that I have no friends although this is not the case.
Apologies if it seems like I have rambled on but the extent seems so large. Strangely I know this has had an influence to myself lately but I can't seem to get out of this 'detached' state. I would be very much appreciate reading your responses and feel free to ask any questions as I will be happy to elaborate.
Many thanks
0 likes, 5 replies
ZEN. Nath1
Posted
I have had this for three years and currently seeing a psycoanalyst to help.
Nath1 ZEN.
Posted
I've had a look and its safe to say I can relate to it. Great to know I'm not as insane as I thought I was but nevertheless it's a strange experience!
This depersonalisation has lingered around for years although it hasn't been as intense as it is now.
I will look to have counselling sessions (which I have had in the past) although I know this does not come cheap. Hopefully I can find the right solution ASAP as I really want to enjoy things the way I did before.
Wish you all the best with your therapy, and I'd be more than willing to read any further responses!
jan34534 Nath1
Posted
Hi Nath
yes it sounds like depersonalization.
when a person is under a lot of stress and anxiety, the body naturally tries to protect you from that by blocking out a lot of the real world. I have experienced this also.
it makes you feel almost disinterested in everything.
it cannot hurt you it's just a sign of overwhelming anxiety and stress. You may not even realize how overstressed you are. Our bodies can only take so much stress before they want to shut down. That is most likely why you are feeling this way.
your schooling is very important. Is there a way you can take this time now to speak with a counselor who specializes in anxiety? That person can help you get to the bottom of why you're feeling so anxious and help you to manage it better. This is difficult to overcome on our own and counseling helped me out a lot.
you can overcome this and live a life that's happy and peaceful.
YouTube has some great audio meditations that have also helped me a lot. You can just do a search for meditations for anxiety. There are many to choose from and they completely calm me down. They teach you how to separate negative thoughts and anxiety from yourself.
I am now able to manage my anxiety so it doesn't get carried away. Besides the meditations, I get regular exercise, stay active and social, eat healthy, and I don't let negative thoughts enter my mind because that is the one thing that sends me into severe anxiety! If you can pick up a book called mindfulness, it explains all of this and it's definitely worth reading! I hope you feel better and Never Give Up! 😄
Nath1 jan34534
Posted
Hi Jan, first of all thank you for your response!
Just to provide a bit more detail, I am working on average two days a week - i don't really have any issues with work. However, since finishing college I have found myself unable to speak to many people and also haven't found any encouragement (I often feel drained to the point where i need to motivate myself just to leave the house) to be out and about (which I want to be doing). It's a bit odd to explain why I'm going through it as I have plenty of time of to be able to be going out which should really mean less stress. Of course though I get the feeling its down to a range of factors.
On the topic of being out, as of recently Kept active by doing a session of badminton per week but haven't played for a month or two. I will take your word on being healthy, maybe I have neglected this and it's having a major contribution to depersonalisation.
I will be doing my best to get back into routine with a number of things and hopefully it will be a stepping stone towards 'recovery'!
I'm happy for you seeing as you have kept positive despite the troubles you have gone through, I hope to follow your steps and break away from it.
All the best Jan, stay positive!
jan34534 Nath1
Posted
One more thing… Very often, anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand. Sometimes people don't realize they are depressed. Another good reason to speak with a counselor who can help.