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why do i freak out when girls i like begin to like me back? please help

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george46caravan
george46caravan

I put it down to insecurity but whenever I start pursuing a girl I like and she finally likes me back and things seem to get serious I freak out. I'm a 20 yo male and without sounding big headed a good looking guy and have over the past few months been working out and gained a muscular body with a hope to gain confidence. The thing is people would never expect this because I am usually very socially outgoing with my mates and girls, making it even harder to speak to anyone about this in person. I have always been insecure about my penis because in the flaccid state it is very small, but average erect at just above 5 and a half inches. I can't seem to shake this insecurity and have lived with it for as long as I can remember. I have only had sex with one girl abut 5 times and I failed to achieve an erection 3 of the times. I love interaction with girls if I know sex cannot happen (like with friends about or parents home) but when I think about sex I get a sickening feeling in my stomach and feel so anxious. I have a rock hard erection when I'm just kissing and touching it's when my penis is revealed I get scared. From failing to perform in the past I have avoided sex for about a year and have recently started speaking to a hot girl I like and have just met in uni. She now seems interested in me and hinting about meeting which scares the **** out of me because I know sex will probably happen if I do. Again I have just cut things off when i really didn't want to (well I do right now to stop the nervous feeling I have) but I hate the fact I can't live a normal life. From a young age I have substituted real life sex due to my insecurities with porn which I think also adds to my problem of not being able to achieve an erection by having 'porn induced ED'. I have quit porn, improved diet, go to the gym... but I am still just so nervous and anxious of the thought of sex or a relationship. I think I need to speak to someone but it's getting too much. Someone please suggest something I can do to solve this...

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Scruffy61
    Scruffy61

    Posted

    Have you thought about seeing a sex therapist or even going to seet out a prostitute they don't have any expectations!!!!

    Scruffy

  • elizabeth70142
    elizabeth70142

    Posted

    Talk to a DR. perhaps you are low on testorone even at age 20 or you should work on your self esteem. Sounds Psychological. Maybe you think everyone is big from the porn movies. They are unrealistic. Maybe poor parenting got you here with emotional neglect. Talk to a psychologist first.
  • george46caravan
    george46caravan

    Posted

    Elizabeth thanks for your reply, I am pretty sure it is psychological because when kissing/ touching i have no problems with an erection. It is when I am about to have sex/ the thought of sex where I lose it. I doubt it is low testosterone and definitely not poor parenting as I have the most caring parents in the world... I am just very very embarrassed which is why I haven't told them. I am just wondering if anyone can relate and have overcome this, and how?
  • elizabeth70142
    elizabeth70142

    Posted

    OH, I see now. You need to talk to a phsycotherapist and she can direct you. Good Luck
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