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Why do i not care if I die soon?

Posted , 7 users are following.

garya1
garya1

Have any of you thought "Why do I care if I die soon"?  I have.  The reason is because the quality of my life sucks.  Let's see...I have no friends (except for those on Facebook), I have nobody special in my life, I hate my job, I'm having no luck finding a new job even though I've been trying for the last 8 years or so, I live in CA & everything is so friggin' expensive (i.e. rent, vehicle fuel, tax burden).  What else?  Oh, my family lives a few hundred miles away so I only see them like 2 or 3 times a year. I also don't have anyone to talk to either.  What's the use of living if the quality of my life sucks.  

2 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever garya1

    Posted

    Garya

    I understand you are in California ???. If that is the case I understand you are in one of the most expensive states in the USA, if this is not te case where are you from. We are in the UK. 

    Try looking for an interest, a hobby or club, possibly walking or cycle clubs etc. You will meet people there. Get involved with any organisation where you will meet like minded people. If you feel isolated, could you move nearer home ?.

    BOB

    • garya1
      garya1 borderriever

      Posted

      I could move nearer my hometown but it's even more expensive than where I live now.  I would like to consider moving out of CA.  I'm thinking like Colorado or Utah, but have never been to either.  Arizona is a neighbor but it's too hot there. 

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane garya1

    Posted

    Hi Garya. So sorry for your sorrow. Do you think that you could make one little change at a time? Start looking for a job closer to family and friends or join one organization. Just one thing at a time so you won't get overwhelmed. I have done this before when my mind seemed to be paralyzed. And guess what? It worked. Have you tried antidepressants or counseling. I have had great luck from both. Just some things to think about. Please know that we care about you here. Keep us posted please. 

    • garya1
      garya1 Adldiane

      Posted

      I've literally have applied to dozens & dozens of jobs over the past 7 years but with no luck.  I've been applying for jobs to areas where my family lives but with no luck either.  I'm kinda on the fence about whether I should try to move back to my hometown (Los Angeles Metro area) or not.  The LA Metro Area is even more expensive than where I live now.  I feel like I'm stuck in a dead-end job.  I have literally one friend I do things with occasionally & some friends on social media.  All my friends on social media are hundreds of miles away.  Will I ever be happy again?  I'm so sick & tired  of all of life's disappointments.  

  • deb87510
    deb87510 garya1

    Posted

    You could be writing my life story. No close friends, in a loveless relationship, astranged from family. I use to love my job but it has undergone so many changes I dread going to work now. I don’t see any future. I’ve tried counseling, pills, and joining committees but nothing helps. If you find something that works for you please let me know. I can’t hold on much longer. 
    • garya1
      garya1 deb87510

      Posted

      One thing that helps me a little bit is listening to good music.  I dread going to work too!  It's so monotonous & there's never any variety in what I do for work.  I'm in a dead-end job

      I know how you feel, I feel helpless too.  I just want to go to sleep & never wake up.  

    • deb87510
      deb87510 garya1

      Posted

      Hey there. I agree music does help. Most times it will lift me up for a while. Other times it brings back memories and regret. What kind of music do you listen to?
  • katehippy
    katehippy garya1

    Posted

    Hey Gary from CA, Kate here from UK. I can empathise totally with what you're saying angel. It's so very very tiring to keep going sometimes and I have those same thoughts - less often, but still. It definitely sounds like you need a change, like ANY change! How would it be if you moved home for a while? For me things started to change after some time out, some volunteering (changes your perspective entirely), the right medication and the right therapy. I was home for 5 years but it was worth it in the end xx All the best and keep in touch.

     

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