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I like to think I'm a good person. I have compassion for others, I try to be kind to everyone and I care more about people than I could even put into words. Yet, when I get upset or angry I can say some really cruel and poisonous things and not just calling names, but things that can really hit home. I'm so disgusted with myself afterwards as if I'm dirty but I have no control over it in the moment.
It's like when I'm in town or at work and people are pushing past or hogging seats with bags I automatically think of a hundred nasty names for them but afterwards I feel ashamed. That person doesn't deserve my anger yet in my head it's directed at them.
I've said some awful things to the ones I love and I feel physically sick with the weight of them. It feels as if I've committed a great crime (and in a way I have). Is this normal? Am I a bad person?
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