Why do I say cruel things when I'm upset

Posted , 3 users are following.

I like to think I'm a good person. I have compassion for others, I try to be kind to everyone and I care more about people than I could even put into words. Yet, when I get upset or angry I can say some really cruel and poisonous things and not just calling names, but things that can really hit home. I'm so disgusted with myself afterwards as if I'm dirty but I have no control over it in the moment.

It's like when I'm in town or at work and people are pushing past or hogging seats with bags I automatically think of a hundred nasty names for them but afterwards I feel ashamed. That person doesn't deserve my anger yet in my head it's directed at them.

I've said some awful things to the ones I love and I feel physically sick with the weight of them. It feels as if I've committed a great crime (and in a way I have). Is this normal? Am I a bad person?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    It can be anything from your own stress overload to bipolar. No you are not a bad person. See a therpaist and discuss all this and they can assess if it is a dysfuntion or there is a valid reason behind it. Theres noway to say otherwise.
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  • Posted

    I would not call you evil, just needing help

    Have you seen your GP because of these raw feelings, you need help to control your negativity

    Do you have any ideas why you are the way you are shown. How can I help you


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    • Posted

      Thank you for replying and apologies for such a late reply.

      I honestly don't know why I'm the way I am. One reason I guess could be that I was badly bullied in school, as bad as it is possible for a child to be bullied for the whole time I was in school. It tends to be a lot more prevalent when my anxiety is high or I have a relapse of my depression, when I'm feeling at my absolute lowest! Or if I'm coming off of mess!

      Thank you and Merry Christmas!

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    • Posted

      You suffered like me, in my case the whole sorry situation followed me through work and all my education.

      When I reached pension age I had been also badly treated by my family and two siblings. I eventually disappeared and started a new life in a different part of the County.

      I do not know how old you are in my area I followed neighbours from school through work and into early retirement. Do not allow yourself to become a victim, you are worth more than that and have the God given rite to lead your life without grief, if you still feel bad done to, take advice.

      Seasons Greetings, Merry Christmas

      Keep a hold


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  • Posted

    Hi helloworld smile

    I have been on the receiving end of a good friend who has said extremely unkind things when they are extremely stressed/emotional. I have also been on the receiving end of the same abuse from family members who do the exact same thing so I think I can perhaps respond to your question from a different perspective.

    It doesn't make you an evil person - but no, it doesn't make you especially nice either. I don't mean to sound horrid.. Things can come across far too cold in text!

    You say that afterward you experience deep remorse which sounds like it truly unsettles you. What you need to do is to learn not to verbally abuse others in the first place and I think your first step would be counselling.

    With the right person to guide you, you will not only be able to perhaps find out WHY you do it, but you will also learn coping mechanisms instead of 'snapping' at others.

    The trick is to acknowledge when you feel bad within yourself (however this may make you feel,) and know not to try and project it on others.

    I think you will get there smile asking for helping is an extremely big step. You aren't making excuses... You want to change. That is a GOOD thing.

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