Why do most GP's find it difficult to empathise with women with peri/menopause problems

Posted , 22 users are following.

and as I'm writing this  a stray tear has just  trickled down my cheek cry

I have had the most awful day after going to see my doctor, I came out feeling like I am a waste of time and my current problems are all related to depression, in fact I am considering changing my practice tommorrow. sad

For the past three or four days I have felt exhausted, aching and my folks even noticed when they visited yesterday. I constantly pass urine and have no energy.

I hate going to the doctors, but felt it was necessary to be seen and maybe try and get to the bottom of this.................................

Bigg mistake!!! rolleyes as both the nurse and the GP were just awful..........

I really don't feel the medical profession have any real understanding or compassion for women like me (well us). 

Enough said, I will try to get some much needed sleep and hopefully I will feel a bit better tommorrow.

A little compassion would have helped,

                   Nite All XXX  

3 likes, 61 replies

Report / Delete

61 Replies

  • Posted

    No excuse but they must see many women like this daily.  I know how you feel.  I'm fed up passing urine as well.  That is all I ever do it seems.  I'm on HRT please give it a try.  My hips ache, they never had before and my hands, neck. It was all sudden as well.  It will get better but I went the HRT way.  I was simply suffering too much.  I also went on a low anti-depressant.  Hope you can sleep and if you can't take a sleeping pill.  I know, I hear you.  Hang in there sister.


    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks Jackie wink

      but that's why I went to see the GP, to try another type of HRT, I didn't even get the chance to say this as this woman had launched into me impatiently. 

      I still feel very angry and disrespected, they have no right, it's their job, it's not like I go there regularly, the last time I went was in summer last year. I have to make myself go, and I think it's because they are not managing my health properly.

      Oh well, hopefully I'll feel different tommorrow, 

      Take Care Jackie XXX

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I am so sorry that this happened.  And I truly understand.  When I began menopause, I immediately started getting back and muscle pain.  It got to the point where it was dibilitating.  I couldn't even lay next to my husband in bed for 10 minutes.  I saw no less than a dozen doctors.  Had an expensive MRI and therapy.  but the day I went to a rheumatologist, was the day I went to the car and sat and cried.  I am, always was, the most high spirited and entergetic woman you could have ever met.  After my exam, this man said that there was nothing wrong and I needed to do arobics.  This to a woman who cleaned 3 houses a day, and couldn't move without pain.  I did constant pain for 5 years. 

    Then I was prescribed vaginal Estace for dryness and atrophy.  And guess what.....yep all the muscle pain went away.  We are light years away from having physicians understanding menopause.  

    I am sorry.......but you are not alone.   

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks for your help Gailannie,

      I became so angry with the GP which made it worse (but what's really dreadful is both of the health professionals I saw today were women). And, from my experience I find that women who have not experienced dire menopause symptoms are the least sympathetic, they just think it doesn't excist.

      First I was patronised by the nurse (who was not "earthy" and approachable.

      Then I was asked why I had even come to see the doctor, she said that such appointments were generally for emergencies. I was furious and raised my vooice, I said "Well I'm afraid I think my appointment is an emergency, it is to me anyway, as I am finding it so hard to stay in my job do to the symptoms I'm having"

      I left the room, neither of us acknowledged one another, I felt that she couldn't have given a damn.

      I am supposed to go back tommorrow for blood tests, I had to urge her to do this, however, I just don't feel I can go back, I feel so upset.

      Maybe I am just a waste of time?


      sorry if my negativity is affecting you hun but I can't help it 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      My suggestion is go get your blood tests tomorrow and make sure you ask for printed copies of those results are sent to you........................

      And then run don't walk and find a better doctor.  Ask around and see what you can find.  There are better physicians out there.  No patient should ever  leave an office feeling worse!!!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Yes, will do Gailannie xxx

                     Nite hun wink

      you've helped, see I'm such a postive person, you know it doesn't take a lot to make me feel a bit better. Neither of these people were interested in me, they made their minds up before even listening..................


      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      You should go and do your blood test. Don't let those unpresessionals get you down. You need to get the help you need from a different Dr. I had the smilar experince with lady Drs. You would think ladies would understand each other best in those circumstances but NO! sad
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I'm so sorry you feel this way MrsMerm but good on you for raising your voice. I'd like to think you put that nurse in her place, but you should never have had to do that. Some of our doctors are lovely but I'm sceptical of the new ones because we don't know each other and I want a sympathetic ear, NOT to be disregarded and come away feeling like a hypocondriac.

      Without sounding like a conspiracy theorist here, I believe that many doctors do believe it's hormonal imbalances that make us feel this way. You don't have to be a medical expert to know that our bodies have to shut down our baby producing system and it's no easy ride for many. The greedy pharmaceutical companies would lose out because, to me, it would be cheaper and easier to treat. I could be wrong altogether of course, but that's how I see it.

      I really hope you start feeling better in yourself and thank you for sharing, as difficult as it is for you. Never think you're a waste of time, it makes us feel bad enough as it is, don't let it make you feel any lower. Good luck xx. 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      thanks Buggly lol

      your alias always makes me smile and thats a good thing "too funny"

      yes well I suppose it's a new day and I must move on, it does no good to dwell, 

                   Thanks wink

                                      Mrs M x

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      No problemo MrsMerm. When creating my alias, I thought I'd make something different he he. My real name is Connie, or Constance if I want to sound rich and posh, (which I'm neither lol). 

      I really hope you're feeling better and that the support here helps you. Wow this forum and you wonderful ladies are gems. Big hugs xx smile

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      If the health professionals did their job properly I probably would not have health anxiety now waking thinking this is my last day every day not good hope your feeling better soon Hun take care x
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I understand your feelings. They make you feel like you are crazy, cause they just don't understand what you and all of us are going through. Like I said you have to be your own Dr. I don't trust any of the drs. Out there. You're just # not s person, and it's really sad cause they don't gave empathy.

    I learned more about perimenopause on this forum and reading different things on the Internet than from any Dr.

    We are here for you MrsMerm. We're all here to help and suppor each other get through this, and I know we will.

    Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a much better day.


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thanks Didi,

                         I don't know what I would do without this forum, that stupid nurse suggested I try to think about women in Africa who have to deal with the menopause symptoms and have prepared themselves for the event.

    You know I just can't believe the lack of consideration.........................

    My job involves genuine care for people everyday and I work hard, if I had the time or inclination I'de complain............................

    but I need to forget about this for myself

                     Nite hun xxxx  

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Wow, that is pretty bad. I cannot believe the nurse told you that. 

      I feel for you. I have been dealing with the worst depression/anxiety and pain over the last 4 months and have been to different doctors with no actual help. My GP and my Gyno told me that I need psychological treatment and I ended up in the mental hospital for five days....!!! Crazy. I tried to tell all of them that I need medical attention not mental treatment and they all just looked at me like I am insane. Four different docs prescribed anxiety pills to me, not one even entertained the thought of perimenopause. They all said I am too young. I am going to be 45 in April. Finally, the neurologist suggested getting my female hormones checked. I had to beg the GP to give me a referral to the Gyno and even she was reluctant to order the test. Let me tell you, their tone changed once the test results came in showing that I am in peri, actually close to menopausal....

      I am still now having biweekly counseling sessions with a mental health worker and it does help, because he at least treats me with respect and he does not put anything I say off as rubbish and takes it seriously. That is more than I can say from the docs. I also found all I know about peri from this forum and other blogs on the internet. Sad!

      Hang in there.. you are not alone! Hugs xx

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I'm in shock! What country do you live in? I think 3rd world countries treat their women better since they expect to have the change come around the time they reach their 40's. The minute in went in with strange feelings my doctor gave me a FSH test and sure enough I was in peri-menopause at 42. I had the itchy creepy crawly fuss skin thing going on, when I told my gyne about it she immediately ordered the tests and said I was in peri-menopause. Told me to change my diet to all whole foods, cut out the junk, chocolate and coffee. Of course, I didn't listen because I forgot another part of the change, foggy brain syndrome, goes in one ear and out the other.  I started taking an antihistamine and that seemed to stop the itching and fuzz thing. The things we go through all because someone got the woman's formula wrong!
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up