Why do ur friends don't want to know you when u have cfs

Michael,

The truth is when you get CFS, you find out who your real friends are.

Some think you are skiving because the illness has that reputation.

Other friends never counted on a caring role in the way they related to you. They then find the commitment involved too daunting.

Many "friends" will undergo compassion-fatigue. Such people can handle an illness where recovery can be observed in weeks. Alas there is no known end point to CFS, and that is an uncertainty which only really close friends will be prepared to embrace. You become too high maintenance for most especially if they are basically selfish and their capacity for sympathy was shallow to start with.

Then again with CFS one becomes what most people define as a boring person - always resting, never going out with your mates, curtailing normal activities etc., Even when people see you, you can't join in with their pace of life. Consequently you get left in the crawler lane, or worse on the hard shoulder whilst others whizz past and progress in their lives and careers.

In addition some find you so changed they don't recognize you as the person you were before you were ill. You might have been the life and soul of the party, but not now. Now they think you have nothing to talk about because you do nothing, which in part is true. For them your personality and even your body has changed. Marriages can break down over such things: I speak from bitter experience.

Finally, CFS cuts you off from every day life. You are not seen in your place of education or workplace. Sadly many people just forget you exist, because their minds only register people who they see regularly.

As I say, you find out who your friends are. My profound apologies for this tale of woe.

Philip

join some cfs groups on face book they often have meet ups lots of info online good luck i know after 27 years its hard

Michael,

At the highest degree of importance is your wife. She is the best friend you cannot afford to lose. Manage as much of your illness away from her as possible, but only after a proper discussion where you lay out the difficulties, possibly in a joint consultation with your medical professional. Love should be in sickness or in health, but this will not avail if you don't live in a state of mutual truth about your condition.

May God bless you and bring you swift aid in your trials.

Philip

hi there.. I hope u having an ok day? seems like having this illness certainly changes all aspects of your life... unfortunately I suspect we have been very helpful to all our friends and kind of expect it back. I went through awful grief over this and got angry about it. I'm a bit lucky as I have four great friends that understand . I don't make too many plans as have had to cancel too many times.... I hope u find someone safe to be around. . people are judgemental.. I hope those people never get this hideous illness.

take care..Jane