Posted , 6 users are following.
I'm going to put this question out there to see if I can get some sort of answers .when you are battling depression why do we do things that deep down we know we shouldn't be doing?
2 likes, 15 replies
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julia23547 leslie87542
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leslie87542 julia23547
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julia23547 leslie87542
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😂Glad to hear that. you know lying is a bit like a safety blanket that we hide behind so that nobody sees the real us. I, too had this problem and I found that when somebody asked me something, I would take a few seconds to think about the answer before answering. If people looked a bit odd, I just said 'sorry, I process things slowly'....And if the sneaky lie popped out, I would just laugh it off and say 'sorry, that's a lie, no idea why I said that'...and then tell the truth. Not sure if any good for you, it works for me.
lucy1969 leslie87542
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I wish I knew the answer to this...
We're right here with you Leslie if you want to talk.
leslie87542 lucy1969
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leslie87542
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I find myself lying all the time even little things and I know I shouldn't and it's cost me my marriage i can't explain why I do it i don't understand why I do i some times do things that I have no explanation why I've done it .it's like my body is doing these things and my brain isn't there
9999 leslie87542
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I know right. It's because we are vulnerable when depressed. If you mean what I mean. I'm talking about self h**m. I do this when I'm at my lowest. I'm also very impulsive when depressed. Sometimes I even think about cu**ing all my hair this obsessive thought came some weeks ago. I'm glad I didn't listen I would have regretted it. I love my long hair. This is when I knew something was wrong with me. I've never had those thoughts before. I have always focused too much on myself now I'm having disto*ted thoughts. I want to change my facial bone structure! I want to change my whole face too. This only happens when I'm very depressed. My self image is becoming dist*rted. I blame it on myself. I focus too much on myself I'm seeing flaws that are not there. I know I'm attractive I get attention but the media, tv, social media have such high beauty standards it's really getting to me.
I heard on the news about this teenage girl who took her own l*fe and it had to do with how social media etc puts so much pressure on everyone to look a certain way. No one is perfect. Not even the most attractive people. Sorry for going off topic lol.🤐
Like I said you're vulnerable when depressed it's not you. It's the depression. Take Care Leslie💕
leslie87542 9999
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I know what you mean I've been bullied all my life with my looks which has caused me low self esteem I did manage to find a girl who became my wife who was beautiful I couldn't believe my luck then ten years down the line is became depressed for some reason a lot of things happened which effected me mentally i put my self in my own little bubble and pushed people away even my wife whom I loved so much a friend of mine who is a girl would message me as a friend ask how I was today generally being nice my wife found out and went mad she asked me why I was messaging back and I couldn't explain why so she said no more contact with her or that's it a few months down and I do the same mistake again and I knew I shouldn't but I did and I don't know why I guess it was just someone to talk to which I haven't got as my father isn't in my life my mother has never really been a hands on mother she issue more of a give them some money that will sort it out kind of person all my friends live to far away so it's just been me my wife and her large family no one to talk to
9999 leslie87542
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I'm sorry about your family. My father isn't in my life either. I only see him when my family calls them to tell them I did something to my*elf again. My mom is always there for me she's the only reason I keep on going. I'm Ashley btw if you need someone to talk you I'm here.
I understand why your wife would get mad. She probably thinks something else is going on. If there isn't anything going on tell her you just need a friend to talk too.💕
9999 leslie87542
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Glad you found someone! I'm sorry you were bullied. Even though I haven't been bullied I understand you. I have been awkward all my life because of my social phobia, gad, social anxiety. It s*cks!
Digsby leslie87542
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Hi Leslie,
Sometimes it's in our nature to behave in self destructive ways, not necessarily self-harming but risk-taking & jeopardizing our happiness. With depression, we seem to adopt this behaviour even more. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not sure of all the reasons but it may be to do with not thinking we deserve to be happy, successful or fulfilled in life; maybe even we hope that those around us will demonstrate to us that they care & rescue us. I think what you describe is more common than we might think - it just seems irrational so defies logic. Lying is sometimes a coping mechanism - not always a bad thing depending on whether anyone gets hurt. When I read about you texting your female friend who was obviously concerned about you & checking on how you were, I didn't see anything wrong in it. When we're low, we need someone to affirm us & be compassionate. You were responding naturally. It's a shame your wife felt threatened by this & felt she needed to restrict your contact - it perhaps says more about her own insecurity at the time. If the roles were reversed & you were restricting your wife's texting habits, we might consider it rather controlling, maybe even emotional abuse. I'm so sorry that it caused a rift in your marriage.
Search on the Internet for "mindfulness". It helped me to be present in the moment, & take a pause before speaking or acting on any impulse. It gave me time to consider the consequences & where appropriate look at things objectively. Things in the past that we may regret are impossible to undo. We can sometimes make amends, but the most important thing is to learn from past mistakes & save ourselves from more suffering in the future. The process can be hard - it takes practice - but don't give up on yourself! Take care & try to be kinder to yourself. Peace :-)
leslie87542 Digsby
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Thanks digsby it more than caused a rift in our marriage it ended it and you are right some things you just can't undo
Digsby leslie87542
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I'm divorced myself (not by choice) so I can empathise with the heartbreak of a marriage breakup. I was trying to be diplomatic and not apportion blame. A marriage needs two people who want it to continue. Please don't beat yourself up. Do you have any support from friends & family? I remember losing a lot of friends after my divorce - some took sides, some just seemed awkward around me & didn't know what to say. Again, it's a time for compassion. Therapy taught me a lot about self-compassion (exactly what it sounds like: caring for yourself when your needs are not being met by those around you). I'm here for you if you need to chat. Take care of yourself buddy.
leslie87542 Digsby
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Digsby leslie87542
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Sorry to hear that. It's never too late to form new friendships with no preconceptions, or to take up new hobbies which will bring you into contact with new people. This forum is a safe place to open up & vent about how you are feeling. Take one day at a time without putting too much pressure on yourself. Keep in touch :-)