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I'm lying in bed with insomnia because I have a new job to start tomorrow yet again the anxiety is kicking in & I have no idea why because I honestly don't give a shxt about this job or anything else right now. How can I be constantly worrying about every aspect of my life but not care at the same time. I want to get better & not feel like a piece of shxt every single day but I also want to do absolutely nothing. I want friends & to do fun things but also want to stay in my room forever & not speak to anyone. I'm angry but at the same time I can't be arsed to care. I think I'm actually losing my mind because absolutely nothing in my s****y life makes sense!!!!!

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    This sounds like me two years ago. Couldnt give a flying hoot. No emotions no feelings, distant, angry, bored, anxious. S****y jobs.
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    • Posted

      I wake up with two beautiful gifts every morning.

      My eyes

      I've started looking at the bigger picture

      People have cancer, people living life in a wheelchair

      Someone took their last breath for the last time somewhere.

      I couldn't go on living in my head when life goes by so quickly.

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    • Posted

      Hi daithi - yes I've got into that habit too. Things could be a lot worse. And no matter how pretty, rich, famous or fabulous we think someone is, everyone has problems. 

      Yasmine - you are taking a step forward with a new job. You will feel like stranger at first but that will disappear and you will make new friends, feel more secure. You are taking action, and that's the main thing. Meanwhile, if you do go the course of Valium or other benzodiazepines, be aware that they are highly addictive and should only be used for a short period of time. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Yasmine, 

    I'm no help as I'm just another suffer like you but I read this the other day 

    "Depression is when you don't really care about anything, anxiety is when you care too much about everything. And having both is just like HELL. 

    Are you on any MEDs ? I'm not really suggesting you try Valium but it's the only thing that works for my Anxiety, I only take it when I'm really "reving high"

    My mum took it for over twenty years and it worked for her. I was really surprised when my Pschologist said her husband has been using it for years. Quite sometime ago doctors really used to push Valium until they found if uncontrolled it became addictive. See if u can get just a half dozen to try after consulting with your health care professional. 

    One 5 mg tab under the Tounge works in 20 minutes for me. Short term fix. 

    For now Ihave Ketamine in sight for my Depression and Anxiety long term. 




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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply Colin.

      I am on meds I've been on various AD, counselling, therapy etc.

      I saw the same quote not long ago & it really is true.

      I would love to try Valium but I don't know if they prescribe it in the UK.

      Worth a try though. Thank you x

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    • Posted

      I've started trying to find the best thing to Valium, haven't had any luck yet. 

      The first comment I got was " there is nothing like Valium" ...............Oh dear ! 

      I probably should never have mentioned it but I really know what it's like to be so upset and nervous  and feel so bad I want to jump off a bridge, it's apparently call "Suicide idealation"

      Promise me you will talk to your doctor first about Valium before even thinking of trying it. 

      I'd also like you to make yourself familiar with "Ketamine" Oxford university and a bunch of Universities around the world are studying it for Depression & Anxiety ( D & A) I truly believe this is the long term and reliable answer to D&A

      Regards Col

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  • Posted

    Oh Dear Yasmine

    How old are you ?

    Talk to your GP, do you know the reasons for these problems. If you are depressed He can help If you are lacking get up and go . Go Girl go and enjoy yourself

    What are your concerns

    All I can advise is get out into the world and enjoy your life

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    • Posted

      Hello, thank you for replying.

      I'm 25 I've had Depression since I was 17.

      I've been back and fourth from my GP countless times he actually said I've 'exhausted all options' so not sure what to do now.

      Just got to continue fighting I suppose x

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