Why The Hell Is Post Menopause Worse For Me?

Posted , 10 users are following.

I just don't get it...

Sorry to post again, ladies - but I'm nearly 5 years into surgical menopause and NOTHING is getting better! I would have thought by now things would have settled, at least a bit. I know some of you other surgical menopause ladies have messaged me and are still struggling after a similar amount of time, too.

I think I need to decide if I should do HRT again, but frankly I find the start up effects pretty horrendous and have never really got any relief - I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I am in the UK btw, so we don't have compounded HRT's here, but do have body identical. I am thinking of just going with 1mg estradiol tablets, but am scared to start. I have tried patches and gel previously, but just don't absorb them.

The symptoms I am dealing with are (in order of what's bothering me the most):

Crippling anxiety - every day.

Suicidal thoughts, and severe crying spells.

Feelings like I am going mad.

Hideous hot flushes, with adrenaline surges that feel like full on panic attacks.

Total lack of energy.

Severe vertigo.

Weight gain of nearly 3 stone since surgery - my thyroid is OK, no diabetes and I eat a very healthy diet and only 1200 calories per day.

Dry, itchy eyes.

Dry skin and hair.

Headaches and migraine with aura.

Tight, stiff muscles.

I would have thought - as my hormones are no longer cycling - that I should have settled at a low level and not be getting some of this by now.

Does this mean that 'this is it' now then? Is this how it's going to be forever? Because if so, I really can't bear to live like this.....

Oh - and I actually hate my surgeon for not telling me how bad this was going to be. He said surgical menopause 'at my age' (I was 46 at the time of surgery) really wouldn't be any problem. Like a fool, I believed him......😥

1 like, 6 replies

Report / Delete

6 Replies

  • Posted


    Im exactly the same, 5 yrs now and i seem to be hetting more symptoms, im back on HRT noe as i just cant cope, you say your in the UK? i belong to a menopause group on FB its called UK Ladies Menopause Support Group its fab, lots of women going through same as us xx

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    hello ladies im 4 yrs post meno and feel the symptoms have got worse for me too this year. i can relate to your list and have many of the symptoms and feelings listed. im so sad and feel very sorry for myself , i just want ordinary me back. im in the UK also and would cherish some support but im not on facebook.

    l too feel i can't carry on like this i just have to take each day as it comes and try and survive through it the best i can.

    sending you love & hope i know how you feel x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Meredyn I hear you. Doctors should be studying those women who say they have no symptoms like my mom to help the rest of us. I also tried progesterone (compounded) for peri symptoms and it just made me gain like 20 pounds in a week! Like you I've fasted, cut calories and for a while when I had more energy was walking more but my stomach won't shrink and feel like I'm wearing a fat suit. I eat one salad with tuna or other protein, and a protein smoothie a day, no sugar, no carbs, no dairy and makes no difference. Anxiety, esp with pre-existing PTSD is awful plus fatigue, hair shedding, odd skin rashes etc make me not want to even get out of bed let alone exercise. I'm surprised you haven't leveled off but it seems like so many women on here do not have an easy time of peri or menopause and doctors aren't paying attention or take women's symptoms and how bad they can be seriously. It makes me worry too as I approach full menopause. I wonder if somehow our generation is experiencing things worse? My 87 year old mother seems healthier than me. And like you and others on these boards I feel like I'm falling apart at 47. How will I make it 87??? But then I have some friends my age, who are very unhealthy eaters, obese etc and no hormonal symptoms. If I find any new research I'll let you all know.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    So sorry meredyn.

    Menopause sucks for so many of us. I am 52 and almost a year next month i will have been a whole year with no period. Peri was so much worse for me. I go to quantum therapy which has helped me tremendously after years of no help or hope from Western medicine. I never wanted to do the hrts as when you quit, all the symptoms just come back and sometimes with a vengence. I think the reason why some of us suffer more than others is because of stress. When you body is under stress all the time. you stay in fight or flight for so long that when menopause comes, its like WHAM! Its like your body cannot do not one more thing for thing for you, hence, all the horrible symptoms happen. Try to do more things for yourself. I challenge you and all the other ladies out there to put no one or nothing before you for a month and get plenty of sleep. I myself notice that if i dont sleep well, the day can be very difficult. I work 12 hour days, so it can get rough. Treat yourself well and make yourself a priority. See if things dont start to get better for you. Whatever that looks like to you. I didnt know what that looked like, so here are a few ideas... nice hot bathes in the evening to unwind. Just you and the water with no distractions. Deep breathing exercises. Take a nice walk. Get a massage. Treat yourself to a class that deals with stress and anxiety. Etc. I never thought things would get better, but they finally are. Im gaining weight like nobodies business, and still go through a few things. but after the hell that the last 5 years have been, I am grateful. Good luck to you! Hope things get better soon.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted


      I think your right about the stress making it worse for some. I just wish more information was out there so woman would be prepared for this. I just read on line you should prepare for this in your 30's!!! I didn't even know peri was a thing let alone preparing for it!! So many suffering and hardly no talk about it. I don't understand. If men went through this they would have already found a cure!! Seriously, they wouldn't put up with this nonsense hormone hell. I'm happy to hear things are better for you. Your post brings me hope. Thank you..

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I would say that unless you are over fifty something you are not really in full menopause because your body still produces hormones in different places other than the removed ovaries. So you were not really in meno before. i would hope waitjing a year or two should ghelp. But I am not sure.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up