Wife has Herpes, I Don't

Hmm...this is definitely a tricky one.  I'm not going to say anything other than that you should consider the fact that it's possible your wife was sexually abused at some point and hasn't come to terms with it enough to tell you.  Just something to consider.

Firstly is it HSV1 or HSV2 ? Both can have genital outbreaks but the former is known as the cold sore virus as most people get it on the mouth and anything up to 90% of people have the virus, but not everyone experiences an outbreak of anykind... HSV1 is the cause of a common cold sore... a lot of people catch this as babies unwittingly from parents as its transmitted through skin to skin contact, through lips, fingers, etc. etc. 

Also it can lie dormant for a lifetime without any outbreaks. I read a report of a 70 year old woman having her first outbreak and had only been sexually active with her husband!!!

What 2014newbie said is absolutely correct. Now, also consider the possibility that she wasn't a virgin when you all got together if it is hsv 2 and not hsv , and the possibility that she could very well been a virgin, but had foreplay w genital skin to skin contact w someine before you. Alls you need is skin to skin contact w no penetration to catch herpes. I also knew girls in high school who were afamnt about staying virgins till marriage, would have a highschool sweet heart for yrs and have anal sex to preserve their "virginity. Herpes will break out on the anus even if you've never had anal sex. Once its in the sacral ganglia nerve, it will spread to any location where the nerves branch pit in that region from the ganglia. 

I know this must be a hard to not ponder the possibility she was unfaithful, but ponder these options as well.

I had it for 3 years prior to testing positive even though I had been tested annually.  I got it from heavy petting and making out.  There was no penetration, just rolling around on the bed together with our knickers on.

You may have it but are not testing positive.  It is possible you gave it to her but your body does a better job of fighting it than hers.  I did not test positive until I had a breakout, then got tested during the breakout.  If you are not having breakouts (that you know of) you may not test positive until you do.  

Of course she may have stepped out also .... there is really no way of telling. Just know it is possible.  If you love and trust her and there are no other signs that she has been stepping out, don't loose her over this.

Hi John.please stay calm and ask her which type she has. As far as I know her mother could have it and she was born with it.I hope you two can work it out.good luck