Wife HSV 2 Positive But Not Me

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Back in March 2016 my wife developed a bump on her genitalia and went to the doctor and she discovered she was HSV2 positive and immediately thought I was responsible for infecting her.  So after having myself tested, I came back negative, hence beginning the questions of infidelity not on my part but on hers. We had not been intimate for a couple of months before March 2016 as we both work long hours, kids at home, you know the drill and time just passing quickly.  Of course she denied any extramarital affairs and doesn't have any idea when or from who she may have contracted the disease.  We have been married for almost 4 years but we have did have our share of infidelities through the years before we got married but not since as far as I know.  Before I always practiced safe sex and it is now evident she didn't. But I still love my wife but the diagnosis really has impacted our marriage. We may have sex maybe 5 times (with condoms) since she found out and she still doesn't like to you use condoms but I refuse to take the chance of becoming infected. I love my wife but feel like this is situation is something we may not be able to overcome.  I have not told anyone and keep this information to myself as I would never want anyone to judge her for her past transgressions.  I think I just wanted to vent about this to someone and get some other experiences with this issue.

Just wondering how if she has been infected for years (supposedly), how I still haven't contracted the disease? Seems at sometime in the past 4 to 6 years she would have some type of outbreak or I would have just contracted it just because of the odds?  Makes me think she did have an affair at some point?

Thanks for listening.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    As I replied to someone else on here just now, herpes can be really random. Some discordant couples can remain that way for years (i.e., the negative partner doesn't catch it), while another person might get it after a single encounter with a new partner.

    So your wife could have had it all this time and you simply didn't get it for whatever reason (few outbreaks, low shedder, unknown resilience, luck?). Also, condoms don't offer full protection, so it does not mean she necessarily had unprotected sex before. The longer you have been together and not caught it, the better your odds of remaining negative.

    How were you both tested, incidentally?

    • Posted

      We were tested by our family doctor after she initially went because of a bump on/near her genatalia.  I went maybe a week after.  
    • Posted

      Okay, just checking. If she tested positive by swab, then that's pretty reliable. IgG is the next best thing (without symptoms). IgM is not reliable and should not be done for herpes.

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