Will he ever come back?
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi
I've never posted in a forum before but I have been reading through old posts and hoping someone can give me some advice as I don't know what else to do.
I have been with my partner for 12 years, married for 4 and 2 gorgeous kids. He has suffered with depression, in varying levels, probably for the last 8 years with very little help from medication. However, New Years Day he decided it was too much and he needed to leave us. He is getting more help medically now and trying different medication but is not at a point yet for therapy. We attempted marriage counselling but after 2 sessions it was clear he was not in a place for that to work. He has now decided that the spark has hone from our relationship and we are selling the family home. This is not at all what I want and want to be able to support and help him. I've read that it can be the depression that causes a partner to leave and say they no longer feel the same but how do I know if this is the case? I can't leave my kids in limbo forever as we still speak every day and he sees them at least once a week. Am I wasting my time waiting for him?
0 likes, 2 replies
jan34534 amy46129
Posted
I am sorry this is happening to your family. It must be very difficult. Also hard on your children as they probably don’t really understand what’s going on.
Have you ever considered getting individual counseling for yourself to help you deal with this? You could even do virtual counseling, which works great. The counselor would help you sort through all of this in order to support your husband and your children emotionally as well as yourself. you could talk about the question you have regarding will he come back around.
depression can cause people to feel overwhelmed in their life, and they feel unable to manage their daily activities, including being in a relationship, work, children, etc. That doesn’t mean that they don’t love their family. But they are struggling inside. try to take one day at a time right now. After getting some support, you will know at some point what your next step should be. But right now sounds like you could use some help with this.
also important to let the kids know that their dad loves them even though he’s not there right now. That’s very important for them to know. children tend to blame themselves when something happens to a parent or the parent isn’t around.
I do hope you get that help and start to feel a little better with some direction. Take care.
sam18386 amy46129
Posted
hi amy, never say never! i am married have no children but walked out in view of leaving for good 10 days ago due to a huge stress overload! i had packed my bag, i was seriously going. 10 days later and i am still shook up by what happened. it nearly wrecked our marriage. i now try to ask for help and know that people are now there for me. you have been so strong, to keep those children going takes some strength. keep telling him you love him, one day it may go in. one day it may work. if he's on meds you don't know what the side effects are and how long they take to really work. i realize you need stability for the children and yourself. you can only offer your support though, you can't make him take it. good luck, whatever you do. just remember look after yourself, you'll need to be strong, for you and your children.