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Hi I'm new and I guess I'm here looking for support, it's kind of hard when your going thru depression and anxiety and people don't know what your going thru.
I was pretty much a time bomb waiting to go off at any moment . I hope this is not too long for you guys but I just need the support.
Before I continue I want to let you know that all the things I went thru were all put in the back burner.
I was sexually molested at the age of 6 by my uncle till I was 8. Never told anyone till I was married, I told my mom.....I married at a very early age and my husband died....married for 2nd time and he got lost at sea with my only brother ...we never found anything..no boat no bodies....I had to be there for my mom and raise my 1 yr old my 3 yr old and my newborn nephew from my brothers girlfriend...she gave him to my mom and I. Today he is 24 he knows he is my nephew but he calls me mom.
All this time I never went for therapy I kept it all inside.....I had a 4 yr old little boy (neighbor) killed in front of me dying in my arms....10 yrs later I remarried...had twins...husband gets diagnosed with cancer....lasts only 3 months...my twins were 11 yrs old..my daughter grieved but my son did not...he has gone thru so much mental problems since then and angry at the world.
By the age of 40 i had lost 3 husband's . In January my uncle that abused me dies...I never told my dad...I just could not...I had to be there for my dad and support him..he was his only brother...I adore my dad.
Lost my job because of depression..Lost my home.
I think that's when I started loosing it...iv been depressed for many yrs but never got help..... I had a melt down 2 weeks ago and I was admitted for 3 days and given Citalopram 20mgs...I feel like I will never be happy or ever gain the life I once had....I want to feel happiness....at night my mind races thinking bad thoughts...Please someone tell me there is hope for me with this med....I'm also starting with therapy on Monday. Sorry this was so long....
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