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Hi everyone. Sorry, this could be a long one...I have recently been prescribed Fluoxetine (20mg); after several years of resisting drug treatment and 'managing' my moods myself, I relaised my life was being adversely affected to such an extent that I could no longer avoid at least trying medication. Now I not only feel as though I have let myself down, but I am worried about being catergorised or taken less seriously by others. So far I've only told my boyfriend- and that was a struggle.
It seems like all of you have come to terms with your illness, but the truth is I don't feel 'ill', I feel as though my view of the world is somehow true- that everything IS pointless (for dire want of better words) and that these pills will only distort reality further. I am worried about losing my individual perspective and becoming engulfed by a world I don't trust; that my emoitons will be dulled and I'll be 'normalised'. Does anyone else have these concerns? It's not my irrational outbursts of rage that I hate most about the way I feel, but the total numbness and 'can't be bothered' attitude I sink into. Have you felt as though you are more numb than you would be without the drugs? I think that would be my idea of hell...
I have only just started, and feel as though it's not too late to back out. (So far the only side effect I've experienced is indigestion- not very nice, but maybe becuase I took it late at night. Has anyone else had this, or know a way to avoid it?) You all seem very nice and genuine, but I find it hard to accept that I 'belong' anywhere lately and I'm not sure ADs are for me.
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