Will it work after breakup?

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To keep it short, She broke up with me and I thought I loved her, Turns out she used me right from the start and I was heartbroken just after Christmas, I still have to work with this girl also

Will these pills help get back to my old self like before? I am trying to forget about her but its hard when you see the person you want to forget every day. We dont talk or acknowledge each other either anymore

Thanks

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  • Posted

    Hi Liam - you need to grieve the demise of your relationship. Pills may be a short bridge, but they will not 'cure' grief. This woman has betrayed you in one of the worst ways. Keep remembering that. The difficulty is compounded by the fact you are working with her. Is it possible to find another job away from her? Transfer within the business? Is there anyone you can talk to about what has happened to you? It will take time to heal - but remember, this woman wronged you with manipulation and cruelty. Think of that whenever you see or think of her. You do not deserve that sort of treatment and disrespect. Best of luck for the future. 

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  • Posted

    Mirtazapine does have the effect of putting you in a bit of a bubble and protecting you to a certain extent from high emotion and sadness. However, it is only a 'sticking plaster' and does not solve the problem that is causing you to feel bad in the first place. Do you really want the break up of a relationship to be responsible for putting you on an antidepressant? What you are feeling is what any normal sentient person would feel in your situation. I would strongly advise yoou not to go onto such a powerful drug as mirtazapine for this. And believe me, mirtazapine is one of the most powerful drugs there is and comes with a huge range of nasty side effects as well as being a mare to come off once you're done with it. The best thing you could do is get yourself out of the situation where you have to see this girl every day. I would strongly advise you not to take mirtazapine for this.

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    • Posted

      "Do you really want the break up of a relationship to be responsible for putting you on an antidepressant?"

      No not really, But because I have to work in the same building as her its hard to think of something else at this time, The pills help me kinda block out although not enough thoughts I had with her and they were few and far between. I thought I loved her and we were talking about settling down etc and then after spending one night together that was it.

      I just felt used and hurt as I bought her nice gifts for christmas and everything else, I had doubts about her before I went into it but I had the blinders on when I was with her because I was just happy to be spending time with her but she was always "busy" and I didnt spend enough time with her, Again just for her convience I guess and nothing else, She spun me a tale and I fell for it and I fell flat on my face, To make matters worse when I went round to her house asking for my gold heart necklace back that cost me £250 she rang me and said Ive slept with someone else since you etc etc so Im still upset that she did that so soon after she ended it with me, 

      (I gave her it on Xmas eve after saying can we make it official, she said yes, and 2 weeks later she finishes me, So I think i was right in asking for it back, It was a love heart and I felt I gave it to her under false pretences because she knew she didnt want to carry on with me anymore if that makes sense)

      The pills kinda help ive only been taking them a few weeks they make me tired and my brain doesnt think about her and everything that happened as much as before but the jury is out if they are working the way they are supposed to

      Sorry for the long story

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  • Posted

    Just an update, Ive been off Mirtzapine now for 2 weeks and I feel great, I took your advice evergreen and decided to accept it and move forward, It took me about 5 days to finally get back to myself and even at work I feel great when Im around her, Theres no sexual feeling toward her at all which is what I want because Ive found someone else now.

    Basically this is just an update to people if they are thinking about taking this medication after a breakup if your upset, It did me no favours at all and Im glad I have come off them finally.

    Im the better person at the end of the day not her and I feel like a cloud has been lifted finally after many many days of crying and feeling depressed thinking this struggle will never pass, Well it has done and I feel absoutley great again, Its like those 3 months never even happened

    Thanks for your help evergreen it worked wonders and for that I thank you because I was at rock bottom when I first came on here

    Many Thanks

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  • Posted

    Hi Liam,

    To start with just want to say I'm sorry you're going through this, I can see it is a very upsetting time for you.

    Your post illustrates the problems with our modern culture of always wanting a quick fix/always wanting to be happy. I took mirtazipine due to severe anxiety after discovering my nanna was terminally Ill (we are very close) and I now really regret it. I think nowadays it is easy to always want a quick fix e.g take this pill and you won't feel sad.. but it's not that easy. Life always presents us with difficult situation and always will and by avoiding dealing with difficult emotions we do ourselves a huge disservice as it teaches us that we cannot cope with life's adversities which is not true.

    It is only natural in this situation that you would feel grief and this feeling may hang around for a few months. The key is to just accept that this feeling is a natural response to your life's situation and it will pass. I always found that the more I wished away how I was feeling, the worse I felt. Anti depressants are strong medications and in my opinion should only be a last resort as they have many side effects and withdrawal symptoms which Dr's are not very forthcoming about. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is accept that you are grieving, be patient and understanding towards yourself and realise there is nothing wrong with you - what you are going through is completely normal and does not require medication. If you need to cry then cry, if you need to shout then shout! Try to move your focus onto something else, make sure you socialise with other people and don't shut yourself off. Finding something to occupy your mind can be helpful such as a new hobby. If you are still struggling it may be useful to speak to a close friend/relative or a counsellor to help you deal with your emotions.

    Above all, be kind to yourself ?

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