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When I was 14 I was sexually abused by my uncle who I babysat for for 2 years. When I was 20 my brother was found dead on an old line after taking 2 diazepam and having the equivalent of 4 pints of lager. When I was 21 I was at a house party with my boyfriend and friends and a man died of alcohol poisoning initially the police did not know this and thought something untoward had happened and 6 of us including myself were arrested for suspicion of murder and we're locked in a cell for 3 days we were released with no further action I was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship at the time and have had a few more relationships after that which were also abusive . Coming up to 2 year in November my cousin fell down my sisters stairs tragically ended up in a coma for 3 weeks and eventually the machines were turned off as there was no brain activity I was there when the incident happened travelled to the hospital everyday for the duration and was there with my whole family when he took his final breath. The whole family was messed up. During the time he was in a coma a man comforted me through Facebook I got into a relationship with him he was everything I wanted in a man he turned out to be a total con man who was an addict he stole my dreams . I am now alone and struggling to make ends meat I feel worn out I'm trying to think that something good is going to happen I'm 35 and can't have children due to having blood poisoning as a child . I feel like I have had my last chance to go for ivf has been blown due to my age and me not been able to ever trust again I tried to take my life a couple of month ago but a friend called and rang an ambulance when she seen the cocktail I had taken. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and depression a need something to make me strong again I'm sick of feeling like this I'm tired
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