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Okay so this is my first time ever writing on a forum. Here's a little background story about me.
I'm 16 and 4 months ago I had a major panic attack which translated into constant panic attacks, feelings of doom, dread depressive episodes and you know the whole ride that comes with it. I could not eat, sleep or laugh without the constant heave feeling on my chest.
Thankfully I knew that it was my health anxiety that caused it and Ive been dealing it. So I am so proud of myself to fortunately say that Ive been sooo much better. I can sleep, eat, go out and live my life... to a certain extent.
Though I am better anxiety still does take a toll on and can leave me in a depressive mood for a few hours, though not as bad as before. Last month I had a whole week which was amazing and I had no anxiety at all, but the last few months has been on and off with crying spells and mood swings I thought I was becoming bipolar. It has left me quite frustrated
This might sound so confusing as hell and I sound so ungrateful due to the improvement that Ive had and I know many people crave this form of improvement in a short amount of time. But like when recovering from it or at least working with anxiety/depression is it normal to have these little ups and downs when your treatment. Ive become very frustrated if it has come back which only feeds my anxiety and of course the intrusive thoughts comes: "will I always struggle with anxiety/depression?" "Does it get easier?" "Will I always be haunted by it?"
As you can tell Im very new to this and I overall just want to be a happy person I just want to know if people out there truly overcome this condition and not have to live with it constantly. And even if not, can I still live a happy life? Will it be harder for me with this mental disorder?
In case this extra info might help
I was put on prozac for 2 months and then I quit because I thought I was getting better on my own before this setback happened. It has been currently 2 weeks since ive totattly weaned off of it. Dont really want to go back on it unless absolutely necessary.
Last week I also finished my period so my mom thinks this might have played a role for my worsening symptoms yet a week later I still feel blehh.
I would say that anxiety is currently mild/moderate and occupies around 30-40% of my daily life so that is what I hopefully want to do is to lower it to 5-10% like that amazing week was.
My ultimate fear and cause for my anxiety is potentially catastrophizing and having a fear of illness or anything that might make my life miserable. In short, I fear the unkown I like to have controm aha.
Hope to hear any replies. Any form of reassurance serves me well. Thank you ??
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