Will this ever end? Ocd losing hope! 😢

Posted , 2 users are following.

I was on sertraline for 8 years for anxiety and ocd (not really severe) then they just

Pooped out. I tried Prozac but that made me 100 times worse. I finally found escitalopram which was fantastic for 6 months and then stopped working, I am no doing cbt and exposure therapy and have just started fluvoxamine day 1, the exposure therapy is so hard, over the past few years I have dropped a lot of compulsions and handled a lot of thoughts to the point they rarely exist but I'm struggling with these ones I'm working on, I am reading a worry script done by me and my therapist of the worst case scenario of me harming my son which is horrendous! I can't stop crying every time I read it, it's like a horror film to me, I can't bear it. I need to read it for an hour a day until my anxiety goes down but I can't even go near it! I don't avoid being around my son at all he is my life and I love him so much I just hate having to read this I feel so guilty and like a bad mother! Will this ever get better?

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  • Posted

    i'd advice to keep working with ur doctor, even though u have gone to great lenghts dicussing the worse scenerio, you knows you would'nt do that, ive been presrcibed sertraline for the past few months, as i'm going thru difficulties myself,

    dont feel ur a bad mum, you knws what you should n should'nt do, if you need urgent attention medical / doctors, get on the case as soon as you can,

    do you have people / friends keeping check on you, if so, tell them how you are feeling,

    hope things ease up for you, during the weekend,

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply, I feel sometimes cbt can make things worse as you concentrate on a thought that's bothering you more, even though I don't want to think about it at all. I've only had this thought for the past year my son is 10, I had this when my daughter was first born 16 years ago but it disappeared as she got older, don't know why it's suddenly back again!
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    • Posted

      ur welcome, it may not help but hopefully it may, regarding mental illness its likely you may never get better, its what my doctor has told me, and its uncommon to just get better,

      sounds like ur brain is on a cycle, i guess your doctor will understand, knowing what u have been through, ive heard tips to keep a daily dairy of how ur feeling, when ur low, really low, times of happiness or excitement, should they surface or come around,

      as you proberly know, when you take to new medication, ur feelings n thoughts will be all over the shop, but u gota keep strong till ur next appointment,

      as for myself i'm dependant free, i appreciate i have far less to worry about or to cope with, still dealing with " inner demons " but i hold on to my support workers visits followed by doctors appointment,

      i really feel if i didnt have or seek these support barriers, i dont know where i would be,

       

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  • Posted

    You're not a bad mother. It's all part of this horrible disease that seems intent on causing us guilt. Exposure therapy is so hard but it works. I used to be weighed down with rituals and now I have barely none but the intrusive thoughts are the worst and coping with change

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