Wish I Was Dead
Posted , 8 users are following.
I'm 40 years old. Married with 2 young children and I honestly wish I was dead. I dont think Im in danger of hurting myself but I do want to die. I am in a lifeless marriage where my wife feels like my roommate. Im working jobs for very low wages and Im in debt up to my eyeballs with debt collectors and lawyers coming after me. Im on a lot of anti depressants but am depressed as hell. I do not foresee any changes to my situation because I cannot develop a positive mindset. If I died in my sleep which I pray every night will happen no one will care that I am gone. It will almost be like that heavy weight is lifted off everyones shoulders. Anyway, I live a life of misery everyday and feel I am destined this way for the rest of my pathetic life.
4 likes, 6 replies
hypercat jpb77
Posted
No one would care that you had gone? How about your children? Don't they ded? serve to have a father despite you thinking you are a failure? Would you condemn your kids to having no dad?
How about your wife? If she didn't want to be with you then she wouldn't. Ad's don't help everyone but it's worth persevering as a combination might. How about having some counselling? I think it's worth going back to your doctors and telling them what you told us. Depression causes us to think very negatively but while there is life there is hope. x
Sadly jpb77
Posted
I’m so sorry reading your post... I’ve felt this hopeless desolation....Please, please get some help you sound very ill, the problem with depression is it clouds our thinking completely - tricking you into believing things can’t get better. They can. You are not pathetic - you are struggling through a very difficult situation with severe depression and despite all this you’ve still had the courage to write these words here...
please, please seek help, your mind is broken, you need help. The debts can be managed, your personal circumstances can be changed but nothing is more important right now than realising you need to get some help. You matter. Your life matters. We are here. Please keep us updated.
i hear you completely 💟
JesseS jpb77
Posted
Understand25 jpb77
Posted
HI jpb77 ,
My circumstances are not the same as yours but I am 53 and I feel the same as you...I wish I was dead. I am also on a bunch of antidepressants and I am still depressed. I feel over medicated.
I have wished this for 40 years. I am a hermit so I don't really want advice from people. I just want to let jpb77 know that I feel the same as him.
Tallsally53 jpb77
Posted
I am 64 and i have been wishing i was dead all my life. I fee like i've never belonged here. I always thought it was because i was rh negative. I dont know. When you have been feeling this way for so long you think of everything. I take kratom which has helped more than any of the antidepressants. I know there is help but health care proffessionals dont really care. Ive been going to them all my life. I think of killing myself all the time. Numerous people in my family have comitted suicide. I see them as heros.
Patient-Mod Tallsally53
Posted
Hi Tallsally53
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient