with depression comes confusion

Posted , 3 users are following.

I've suffered on and off (mostly on) with depression for a long time, at times I've thought I was beginning to understand it...I was wrong! Yes Ive learned more about it through books, Doctors, counselling, psychologist and talking to like minded people.

So then why do I still get depressed and why am I still so confused?

When I'm well (happy) I feel like this is me this is how I am, how I'm supposed to be and I believe it.

But when I'm unwell (depressed) its the same...

I believe it's how I should be, how my life was meant to be and what I deserve.

Only difference is that when I'm unwell I find it hard if not impossible to remember when I've been well

But when I'm well I always remember how bad I was before.

confusing right?

I could read this back when I'm unwell, you could quote me on it, remind me that I can be well, that I can be happy!

But i won't believe it.

But why? Doesn't make sense right?

When I'm well I want to live, when I'm Down I want to die, there's no in between, no middle ground!

Actually that's not true There is a middle ground (I'm on it now)

At the point where I have good and bad thoughts, where Ive been doing well but realise it's coming to an end.

So If I know this then I have the advantage? I should be able to stop it from happening right?

In the past I've not been able to

If I'm lucky I can slow it down (which I am trying so hard to do right now)

But I'm just prolonging the inevitable.

I've not been able to before so how can I this time?

What can I do differently?


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4 Replies

  • Posted

    so how are you friend
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  • Posted

    Hi Dondon I was thinking about you the other day and realised I hadn't see you around for a while.   Don't think yourself back into depression so leave the bad thoughts alone.   There is a lot of truth in living each day without much thought of the future.  The future will take care of itself as it always does.  

    Keep being positive and try and stay in the middle ground as long as you can.   Keep busy and and don't think too much.  Easy to say but hard to do but if thinking isn't helping try not to.  

    We are here for you love.   Pm if you want and I will do my best for you.  Bev x


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