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I have quit work because I was just getting worse. I am absolutely devastated about it. I feel like an absolute failure to everyone.

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi BL4CKR0SE, I just saw your message and wanted to give you a virtual hug! Work can be such an important part of who we are, and having to stop can feel like giving up on ourselves as well as the job. That's before you even start to consider what it means in terms of supporting yourself and dependents, and what impact it will have on your friends at work. It's really, really tough. 

    However, you are NOT a failure. It's not your fault that you have CFS. What you're doing is facing up to the situation and taking a responsible course of action. Keeping on pushing yourself past your limits is not going to help you or anyone else in the long run. It can be really hard to see that sometimes - especially when you can't think straight for fatigue.

    Personally speaking, I went part-time and changed the type of work I do. At times, it did feel like I was admitting defeat, and I was pretty thankful for the anti-depressants!! However, it's given me space to reassess my priorities and find new ways to feel like I was making a contribution to the world - ones that don't result in lying down for days subsisting on cereal in the messiest house in the world :D 

    My advice then, for what it's worth, is to be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up takes too much energy! Take care x

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  • Posted

    I understand how you feel, but without knowing the specifics I do believe you made a great decision. This condition requires you to restructure your life so that you can be successful and contribute in a lot of ways. Use this time as an opportunity to hit the reset button and design your life in a new way. 
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  • Posted

    I can completely identify with what you are saying I was utterly heartbroken for few months as I had to do the same thing I left a company after 16 years I loved my job. But there was no way I could manage it as I felt I would pass out . I've been at home exactly a year luckily I've got a fantastic husband who supports me in every way. Things are bit better regarding my post viral fatigue I can get about bit more but I've recently been diagnosed with asthma so that dosent help it used to get me down but I've gradually learnt to accept these things and not stress so much it's taken a long time to get to this place though good luck to you and please don't feel you are a failure you are far from that xx

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    • Posted

      Thankyou. Happy to hear that you have come far. Good luck for the rest of your future. X
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  • Posted

    I can sooooo empathise. Loved my job and was good at it but a lack of support and the loopholes meant that I was ditched. Still find it hard over a year on and like you, felt a complete failure. Have ended up on anti depressants and counselling - purely due to this situation not the CFS. What advice can I give? I haven't found the answer but I do feel I'm not to blame - I still feel a failure - but I am taking each day as it comes and trying to take all the help I can and I have accepted that actually the support for this type of disability is the main failure. Huge hugs and please don't blame yourself. X

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      Sorry to hear that you are not getting the support you need even after a year.

      This is just the beginning for me. We are moving house soon which is a pressure on top of everything. 

      I do believe that if there were the proper support we would have a better idea of what we are facing.

      My husband supports me but I feel like I am putting on him too much. I have a 12 year old boy at home. When I used to come home from work I went straight to bed but now I get to spend time with him.

      This week has been the hardest because I have been on my own.

      Tc

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  • Posted

    You are not a failure, be proud of who you are.... I had to give up work having once beaten this into remission, second time around much worse and it involves my heart too.... darn it. had a remission of over three years... but ... now been broken again for just over three years so far.... Anyway, there is hope work in Norway and Australia has shown inflammation factors and a failing sugar metabolism in the mitochondria of us sufferers. in men its seem an amino acid supplement helps in women its a fatty acid supplement that helps... mostly but can be vice versa... for me its amino acid supplement and it has helped my brain fog to clear quite a bit... but anyway the point is the yare finding out more and the more they now find the better the chance of real support and medical help. not any more comments of its all in the head... but real genuine possible future medication. it may be a while off but....... the road is starting, so... be you as best you can be, believe in yourself and ... keep gently trying a bit but also resting a bit plan your days do a bit rest a bit do a bit rest a bit..............

    All good wishes...  

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    • Posted

      Hi Andrew, 

      Sorry to hear are not well again.

      I have struggled with aneamia for over 10 years. Earlier this year my blood count was great and I didn't need tablets anymore. But I seem to have got worse over the months past and the doctors have elliminated everything. 

      I was diagnosed with cfs about 4 months ago. 

      I cut my hours at work at first but it didn't make much difference. So I quit. It has only been a few weeks since I quit so it is early days.

      Thank you for your works of encouragement. 

      I start cbt next week so I am looking forward to that just for the support. 

      I will keep updates when I start.

      Tc 

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  • Posted

    Hi, i have not worked in over 2 years and still seeking government support. I had to leave my home and move back to my parents until i get my tribunal sorted out. Who would think the hardest fight you will ever face will have to be done when you are at your physically weakest? Illness has changed the way you will be living your life so you are not a failure. I get guilt all the time as when i have a fairly good period i feel like i should be working. In the coming years i may be able to work part time but i have to understand my illness and limitations. Do what is best for you, rest as much as you need and chase every single bit of support you can get. Take care.
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    • Posted

      Thankyou Andy. Sorry about yourstruggles. You are right. I have to understand the illness and how my body reacts.

      But when you get a response like "but you only walked to town" that kind of knocks you back. Then you start to think that maybe you aren't really ill after all...just lazy.

      What medication do you take? 

      Are you finally getting funds?

      My partner supports me. But I don't know wether I am entitled to anythind.

      Plus I feel like I don't deserve any financial support either.

      Sorry for all the negativity. That comes with my depression too.

      ?😴

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    • Posted

      I think we all know the feeling of "im just lazy" or "i dont deserve financial help". It is great you have your partner because together you can find out what you entitled to and do not ever feel you dont deserve it. I only take sertraline for my depression which i have had all my adult life and i take omeprozole for my gastric problems.  I am awaiting a tribunal so i can stake my claim for disability. You have to fight so hard for anything these days. Human rights and democracy do not exist im afraid to say. For anybody that gives you s**t i say to them ignorance is not an excuse, if they are a part of your life, ie a boss or work coleague then they need to do some basic research on the illness. Simple as that.

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