Work-based social anxiety question.
Posted , 5 users are following.
I'm hoping someone can recommend a treatment of CBT, therapy and / or medication for my social anxiety, as quite frankly it's ruining my career and general well-being.
I'm a 45 year-old senior manager who experiences intense fear of attending meetings with more than 3 people and having to speak or update the room on my activities.
But it's not actually so straightforward...
If I'm asked e.g. to prepare a presentation to a group of people, I'll usually create some slides and a accompanying hand out, so that eyes are not always on me. I've had to do this several times and have found that while still feeling very nervous, once the first slide or two is out of the way, I'm actually quite comfortable with it and quite enjoy it.
However...
If it's just a general meeting and I've got to speak without slides / handouts, I dread it for days on end leading up to it, can't sleep, shake and feel sick. Then on the day my heart almost beats out of my skin and I really struggle with the first few lines. In the past my voice has shaken and my composure gone to pot as I look at the concerned-looking / perplexed faces in the room. Then I ruminate for days and feel embarrassed when I pass people in the corridor who were in that meting.
And God help me if it's a meeting where I have to introduce myself to a room. I think I'd rather walk the plank.
My question is; can anyone else relate to my story and if so....recommend how I can overcome it? Such an everyday challenge is slowly ruining my life and I'm embarrassed to admit it.
I'm thinking of taking sertraline and seeing a therapist but I need specific help not just an all-round counsellor. It also really annoys me that we have to pay through the nose for help whereas if I couldn't speak properly due to a throat problem I'd be given NHS help!
(It actually hurt admitting / writing this but I really want to overcome it).
0 likes, 4 replies
jan34534 David7719
Posted
David don’t be embarrassed about this. Millions of people have the same issue as you. Most people just don’t talk much about it but that’s not good either. It’s great that you expressed yourself here because that’s the first step. I know that you want specific help for this but the first step is seeing a therapist. If they are not able to help you with what you need, they can refer you to someone else but you have to start somewhere.
Many therapists do CBT. You can ask when you call and tell them specifically what your issues are so they can get you the best therapist for you.
another thing is there are some great speakers on YouTube about these issues. They talk about everything including anxiety when speaking, how not to care what other people think, increasing confidence, and on and on. I have been this way since age 5 so I know what you’re talking about but as I started getting older, I cared much less about what others thought and realized I have to take care of myself first. I also learned that the vast majority of people are more interested in themselves and how they do things, how they come across to other people, how they look etc. rather than how I do those things. In other words most people don’t really care. I also learned that you don’t have to be confident to look confident. And there are ways that you can learn all of this.
But I still think you need to start with a therapist. there’s a lot of help out there for this! Including books, online, therapists. You don’t need to go through this alone.! I’m sure you have much to offer this world you just need a little support right now. We are here for you take care! ❤
jan34534
Posted
feel free to private message me if you need to.
Richado David7719
Posted
Hello David, I've not experienced social anxiety but other anxieties and they do tend to follow a common pattern. However you are not alone and you will get through this.
I agree with Jan's comments. She has a good insight on this and I would also advise a therapist who may cost a bit but WILL resolve why you are feeling like this. It is something your mind is creating because you have said you can manage well in certain meetings but then not so well in other scenarios.
I might add that if you get a referral from your GP they can put you in touch with iTalk. This is the NHS talking therapies service. Best to start these asap as it can take a while to get an appointment but they are very good and will help both with CBT and specific help depending on your needs.
If you go private you will get a very specific service and they are very effective but up to £100 an hour.
You will probably want 2 or 3 sessions but since this will most likely eliminate your concerns, it could be well worth it. Good Luck.
All the best R
ps I do NOT think you need medication but your GP should advise.
lester90053 David7719
Posted
You can try this without therapy and without meds, If you are talking to a large audience have bright lights on you while there are dim lights on the audience so that you cannot see them. While you are speaking you can hold up to your mouth either a live microphone or a dummy microphone. It acts as a crutch and gives you confidence. Before long you will not need to do these things.