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This forum is beginning to feel like "famstresss I am still finding my feet in coping with new diagnosis but my husband isn't really understanding the seriousness of my problems!
I am in a complete dilemma (ongoing for at least past couple of yrs) about my work/career. I know it contributes hugely to my stress which makes my symptoms so much worse and it is more than likely that work was a big trigger to developing my CFS/me.
All I ever wanted to do was become a nurse and I did so. Now been in nursing for almost 29yrs, more recently (past 10+ yrs) as a nurse in a GP surgery. Now my role is excessively demanding (nursing not alone in this, I totally agree!) and I find myself struggling to deal with "patients" as well as the politics and educational update requirements of the job day to day.
I know in my heart that I need to leave for my own health, not least being aware of my professional code that I have a responsibility to my patients care if I am not fully healthy myself!
I am struggling to find an alternative occupation and in itself, this causes me additional stress because I love being a nurse and can't imagine doing anything else! Anything else will require some form of adapting to, which I worry will still cause me stress. I also feel incredibly guilty and as if I am abandoning my nursing profession, plus all the patients; especially those with illnesses such as CFS/me and mental health disorders because there are little enough health professionals championing these conditions anyway!!!
My gut feeling is that I need a career break but then this creates anxiety within my family relationships, especially with my husband as he has several concerns:-
a) I will become depressed again if not working regularly and my "work ethic" will reduce!
b) It will affect our family income and, with our daughter due to start a four yr degree at uni from September, this has impact on our financial plans!
c) His own plans around him retiring in 2-3yrs (he has worked already 42yrs in same company and will be 60 in 2yrs)!
I am having an Occupational Health Assessment this week and am worried a little about this. My manager is fairly supportive and it is very helpful having advice and information from my local specialist CFS/me service. I am awaiting start of CBT but just don't know whether I should extend sick leave until therapy is in progress!
I am on the verge of going onto half-pay due to my sickness absence in the last year and this again, causes me increased stress!
If anyone has any suggestions or experience I would love to hear it.
Many thanks for reading through!
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