Working out is next on my therapy list, help!!

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I am so insanely nervous.. Ive been making such progress (anxiety wise atleast) since seeing my therapist. Today i told him how ive began eating things that are bad for me (not alot, just to prove a slice of pizza wont give me an instant heart attack), along with how i went to the movies with my daughter for the first time in over a year. I never did because i needed a security blanket (being my mom and fiance), but i finally did it on my own.

Well now today he laid it on me that he wants me to start working out. Now i used to work out and love it. Did a mile 4 times a week and intense cardio. Now im terrified of having sex or going up the stairs quick, in fear my heart will just give out.. He said i can do it 15 minutes a day, he doesnt care what i do as long as it gets my heartrate escalated.

That terrifies me. I feel like i absolutely cannot have intercourse or jog because im not comfortable with this stage yet.. Is this something where i am just supposed to force myself to do it and get through it, or am i supposed to work on something else and come back to this goal?

I want so badly to be able to go back to how i used to be.. Having fun wherever and actually having intercourse with my fiance.. But at the same time i feel so close to succeeding that im almost terrified that because i do well, that something devastating will happen.

Thank you for reading this whole vent.

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  • Posted

    Eating things that are bad for you won't do you any harm in moderation. Again you have to apply what is scientifically and medically accurate Instead of anxieties manifestations of fear, which are irrational and have no real foundations.

    What you are doing now is excellent. It is called exposure therapy and is very common with OCD. You are exposing yourself to what triggers the anxiety and creates the intrusive thoughts which lead to fearing, obsessing and checking.

    The only ritual that will calm you then is to see a this is all part of the circle of OCD and learned behaviour.

    Once you begin to see that your fears and thoughts are just that, slowly everything else will ease. It is hard, but I think you should be proud of yourself for coming this far.

    I found exposure therapy to be the hardest. My anxiety went through the roof. But with eased significantly.

    I was then no longer ruled by that particular thing.

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    • Posted

      Also... Here is another story to show the difference between irrational thinking and what is medically accurate:

      My friend was born with a hole in her heart and had to be monitored. It was too large to operate and in a difficult area. So instead they watched and waited as it healed.

      She now has to be careful. She eats a healthy diet, remains at a healthy weight.

      It is PARAMOUNT to her hearts health that she excorsize. She does not avoid her heart beating first because she knows that to ensure it is healthy, it has to.

      She also has two children. And yes, she was monitored...

      So in comparison between yourself and her...

      You avoid anything for that makes your heart beat fast. This isn't for any physical or even logical reason. It is because you FEAR the sensations and you fear what may happen.

      Your choices and approach are governed by anxiety.

      The reality to your fears have no actual medical basis.... This may be something to think on.

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  • Posted

    You need to give yourself time. Remember it is your Anxiety talking, talk back


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  • Posted

    I can relate to you!!!

    "Terrified that because I do well, something devastating will happen."

    Oh...this is my dark mantra.

    But.... This is OCD. It's just a thought...just like all other thoughts.

    If you do well you will have good days, better days and crap days.

    Keep going I think you are doing brilliantly.

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