Worried about depression

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Please help. I'm feeling low and tearful quiet often (up and down) for alittle while now. Since being diagnosed 9 months ago with endometriosis everything in my life is going down hill. With being told I can no longer have children, to family issues, money issues and work is pretty rubbish too as well as all the pain and fatigue.

Every time I'm tearful at home my husband says 'cheer up love, your strong, you can do this'. Can't talk to my sister's or mum either as life is touch for all (long story) although probably I'm just looking for excuses not to talk to them about feelings.

Driving to and from work I either cry, try to cry and sometimes wonder what would happen if I crashed.

Don't no what to do. Don't want to let anyone down and what if I'm wrong.

Don't know what strength I have left on me

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    It's Okay to cry. And cry.  And cry.

    And it's okay to ask for help.  If you're worried about your depression getting too overwhelming, are you able to seek professional help?  

    Otherwise, we're all here for you.  There will be good days....but there will always be bad days and these saddening, haunting thoughts.  You have to find, and hold onto, the silver lining.

    Keep fighting.

    Lisa

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply.

      Wouldn't even no how to know if I'm depressed or not go yet sad.

      Don't think I could speak to anyone thou. Manager did inform me of online councilors as she knows some of my issues at mo and I just shrugged it off.

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    • Posted

      Hi Laura-

      Talking to a professional seems very much in order when contemplating suicide, which is what you're doing when thinking about crashing your car. Just so you know, chances are good that you might survive but in a mangled state - and still have endo. That would be so much worse than your current situation.

      Your employer provides some telephone counseling, and your manager seems to care about you and be worried about you. Please try the counseling. If that isn't helpful then you may have to find someone in person.

      Does it bother you when your husband says that to you? If so, maybe it's time to tell him. People often say things intending to help and unaware that their remarks can hurt. He will never know unless you tell him.

      As to not telling your mom, ask yourself whether she might be hurt that you wouldn't share your burden; ask yourself if you would be hurt if you were in her shoes. Me, I don't share anything with my 6 siblings and my mom's been dead since '71; I find other confidants

      We are here for you and we care in ways that no one without endo can care, but but we're not counselors or therapists. Please talk to a pro about your suicidal ideation, you can probably call them right now.

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  • Posted

    Hi Laura,

    I understand life can be challenging at times. I myself have had a lot of ups and downs and have endometriosis as well. I had a big surgery to remove it and now I'm seeing a fertility specialist and fighting for what I want. Which is a family. I've had another surgery 4 weeks ago and still recovering and been in and out of doctors rooms and hospitals and I feel so down about my life now. Im telling you this so you know your not alone and everyone is going through different situations.

    Keep your head high and know that this is just a phase. Doctors may say you might not have a chance but remove the endo and your chances will raise. There are also plenty of ways to fall pregnant these days! Don't give up and be strong as hard as it sounds. Then watch everything fall in to place for you. Life can be really tough as times but they are just hurdles you need to jump over and never look back at them.

    Maybe you should speak to someone coz it really helps to vent out.

    I know it's hard when your so down to be positive but think of things you are grateful of. Don't beat yourself up over anything. Trust me you won't get anywhere that way

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    • Posted

      Thank you. Just reading this I'm holding back tears. I no I have alot to be grateful for but Can't appreciate it very well at mo. I'm arguing alot with husband.

      Need to find my smile again xx

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