worried about drinking habit??

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My daughter used to have a drink and drug habit, she has kicked the drugs but unsure about her drinking.. Just lately she has been having a drink and then getting angry and sometimes violent with her partner, if there isn't drink around her she is not bothered but if shes left alone and there is drink , she has to have it any consumes the lot until shes drunk and then starts getting angry again. She says she does not have a problem with the drink and tells the doctor the same although the doctor as put her on Sertraline 100mg for anxiety. we at a loss on what to do nxt and were getting so worried about her. Can anyone shed any light on our situation please

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Anybody who can't have one or two drinks and stop has a problem with alcohol, Kate. It is sometimes difficult for people to admit their problem, even to themselves, because there is (wrongly) so much shame attached to it. Alcohol misuse is caused by a physiological problem not a behavioural one, although, of course, a person who is drinking too much can exhibit difficult behaviour.

    It is worth reading about The Sinclair Method which can be used for different degrees of excessive drinking, including out of control bingeing. There is plenty of discussion of The Sinclair Method, and the drugs used (Nalmefene and Naltrexone) in this forum and also online, generally.

    The method does not involve any admission of guilt or shame, it is a physical treatment, although it is recommended that people are supported one-to-one while using the treatment. This is far more acceptable to many people with alcohol issues because they don't feel blamed for their illness. Many treatment methods are confrontational in their nature, which exacerbates any psychological issues.

    Her anxiety may be caused or, at least, made worse by excessive drinking and the effectiveness of the Sertraline will be affected for that reason.

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  • Posted

    Hi Kate,

    I would recommend A.A. and N.A. A lot ot of people on this forum knock A.A. and suggest an easy way out but they seem to want to find a way to keep drinking without any drink related problems.

    I suggest you ask your doctor to get advice on all alternatives.

    Good luck, Colin..

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    • Posted

      I think there are people who criticise methods that didn't work for them. I need to point out that The Sinclair Method, which DOES involve continuing to drink, is a method which involves reconditioning the body called pharmacological extinction. It can't be done without the use of alcohol but often results in people stopping drinking altogether or drinking very very occasionally in a controlled way.

      I don't think you are suggesting this Colin, but in case anybody has the view that The Sinclair Method is simply an excuse to keep on drinking, that is not true.

      Different methods work for different people and no person should dictate to another which one they should use but, of course, recommedations and suggestions are entirely appropriate.

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    • Posted

      Point taken Paul, I should find out about the Sinclair method; it seems odd to use drugs to be able to keep drinking.especially when katie's daughter has already had a problem with drugs.

      What you say makes sense to me.

      I'm sure people would like to keep drinking without experiencing the consequences of being an alcoholic. Are G.P.'s aware of the Sinclair method

      How long has the Sinclair method been on the market and have you used it yourself? I expect I'll get info on line about the method.

      Good luck katie and especially daughter.

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  • Posted

    HI Kate. I do think that your daughter has problems and the GP is perhaps a good option as Colin suggested. However, she may not agree to see her GP since she will not admit that she has a problem. Anybody else of you friends or in your immediately family who can hlep?? All the best. Robin
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  • Posted

    Thanks for the replies , i have made appointment for my daughter with her GP this and I am going in with her. I more or less got her to admit that she still has a problem with alcohol. It does affect family and sometimes we need help to cope with as well. Keep you all posted.
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    • Posted

      Well done on making the appointment, Kate, this is a great first step in the right direction.

      If you are considering looking at the Sinclair Method as an option, as Paul mentions above, then please take this link with you.  It briefly explains it if your doctor has no experiene of this. Your doctor can access it during the consultation. 

      https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

      However, please do not expect too much from this appointment.  In a lot of cases, GP's only have basic training in alcohol and addiction issues.  I hope your GP has an interest in these issues as he/she may be more willing to work with her as a patient.

      However, if not your daughter is likely to be referred for another appointment with your local alcohol services, so they can assess her and help her.

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  • Posted

    Just been to GP with daughter and tried fobbing her off with let the Sertraline do its job then come back in a month.. I told him the problem itself needs addressing as to why she drinks as well and we needed help now or some kind of referral.. we came away with paperwork and phone numbers. My daughter as rung these agencies up and she as an assessment for counselling next week and the alcohol assessment within 10 days. feeling a lot better all round already..
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    • Posted

      WELL DONE, Kate for standing your ground and sticking up for your daughter.  It is so sad that at the times we drinkers often feel so weak and vulnerable, the medical professionals we speak to don't really appear to take our concerns seriously.

      I know this is going to sound awful, and these alcohol agencies are the next step in this process, but again you may need to be strong and stand your ground.  Many of them are woefully understaffed and engage in a 'tick-boxing' excerise that uses a one-size fits all approach, rather than trying to engage in a process which fits to your daughter individually.

      Do you own investigation into all the treatment methods out there, using this site and others you feel are informative but not judgemental, and try to find the one that you both feel may fit your daughter the best.

      Yur daugThat way, if you feel that this assessment results in also being 'fobbed off' you have all the information in your mind to be able to at least

       

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    • Posted

      (sorry my computer went strange then!)

      ... have an informed discussion with them at the time.

      Good luck!

      Joanna.

       

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  • Posted

    ill keep all that in mind Joanna. i was determined i wasn't leaving the surgery without some kind of help
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    • Posted

      Well done kate,

      It's a very difficult situation but you're going about it the right way.

      Good luck.

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  • Posted

    It is unlikely that she is not drinking all the time, people who have alcohol dependency are very good at hiding it - I am speaking from experience.

    When people drink heavily, it can often cause them to be agressive, I don't mean picking fights with people, but sometimes even slight things can annoy them and provoke aggression.

    People who drink, don't like to be told they have a problem, most of them know that already. My advice would be to talk to the doctor and get your daughter to go for a blood test, they will then be able to do an LFT test. That will tell you if the problem is alcohol or something else.

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    • Posted

      good reply for certain!! try the GP which is what is suggested as well  smile Robin
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  • Posted

    Hi kate

    I totally agree from personal experience with the replies from Joanna, RHGB and Robin. 

    The alcohol centre I was referred to had never heard of the Sinclair method. I printed off loads of information, my GP dismissed it as American mumbo jumbo and wouldn't prescribe the medication. The alcohol centre said my GP had to prescribe it.

    Different areas have different policies, a bit like a postcode lottery. Joanna's comment about 'one size fits all' was certainly true in my case. I had to fill in a drink diary every fortnight and bring it with me to each appointment. I was actually honest apart from once, but that kind of help is not really sufficient.

    The drink centre did offer acupuncture which for me had excellent results. It's done in the ear, with each needle representing the major body organs. Just another idea for you to google.

    My husband had no idea how much I was drinking, as we are a very secretive group and very good liars!

    I would certainly ask your GP for an LFT test and surprised he/her didn't suggest one.

    good luck. Like Joanna, I don't want to alarm you, but looking back in hindsight, I wish I had been a lot more assertive, both with my GP and support worker.

    This Is only  my experience, but am certain there are many people who have had excellent help. I also had CBT which was very good.

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