Worried about my future sex life with fiance'

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I am a man in a long distance relationship with a girl I am very in love with, and we are engaged to be married. Soon she will be moving here in a few months making it a real relationship. I have had sex with her pretty regularly when I see her, but there have been some troubling facts she has told me about making wonder if this is going to lead to disaster for me.

On my end, I have a ridiculously high sex drive at 42 years old. Previous girl friends have told me I am not normal as my "regular" sex sessions have an average of 3 ejaculations and have gone up to 6 times in like 4 hours once. I also like sex every day, and do morning and night sex. I never feel tired or worn out, I just want to keep going. With her I have only gone once in a session and she told me enough.  Then I lay frustrated, wait till she goes to sleep and then masturbate. This is no good.  I can't live a life like that.  

She is very conservative and doesn't seem to like to discuss sex, so I don't with her. With previous girl friends in the past, I have had crazy beast sex, but I feel like she doesn't want that sort of thing. She has told me she has never had an orgasm. She has told me she doesn't masturbate and doesn't really think about sex.  I think she definitely has a very low libido though she has assured me "we will experiment" and she definitely wants a child with me which is what I want too. I am really agonizing about this and feel like this is going to be doomed if I can't change how she approaches sex and more important, sex with me.  How do I even talk to her about this without sounding like a complete a**hole?  That is a real problem for me as I already have been accused of being "paranoid" on more than a few occasions with her.  I love her to death, but this issue is driving me crazy.  Help! 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh dear! Doesn't sound as if you are at all sexually compatible!

    You are both going to have to make some major compromises to have any chance of 'meeting in the middle' with your different attitudes and levels of need.

    If you can afford to, I suggest you together go to see a relationship counsellor or sex therapist. These issues are not insurmountable, but without free talking, I fear that sooner or later your relationship will falter.

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  • Posted

    t will be different when you are leaving together.  You will be able to talk and figure things out.  Your a lucky man that you have a very high sex drive but not all people are like that.  Not all women enjoy sex.  You may have to work on her to and talk.  My x wife never had a orgasm with intercourse until I went down on her first.  She would have 2 or 3 but if I had 1  it was ok/  Just talk  don't force her If you love her just listen to her it is not just about you.  Ken.  

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  • Posted

    This will not go away. This will cause friction before, during and after marriage. Before talk of marriage this is something that stood out.

    Run the other way. Stop the damage before it gets worse.

    Find the person you dont question.

    Good luck.

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  • Posted

    It's not gonna work in my opinion , it's difficult to find both a good wife and good sex , it seems you found a very good person to love but with that kind of sex drive you have you will be miserable soon . Is she ok with an open relationship where you have a lover just for the extra sex? It might sound crazy but some women are.

    I had the insatiable problem too and I realized that a lot of girls are happy with minimal sex . In my 20s and 30s I had several girlfriends at the same time to satisfy my libido , only 1 couldn't keep up

    If you keep looking you might find 1 insatiable nimphomaniac as you like.

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    • Posted

      I agree with what pattino said. How old is this woman? If she is about your age she is around her sexual peak. Its only down hill from here. Also many women don't orgasm with penis in vagina sex. 

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