Worrying about parents getting older!

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 I'm currently suffering from anxiety and feeling low due to a long standing issue I have with regards to relationships! I'm doing all the right things to try and resolve this but just in the wars at the moment which is making me worry more than about things more than normal.

About 18 months ago my dad had a massive stroke when he was 63. All the doctors told us to expect the worst and they didn't think he would live. 18 months on he is doing great. Hes home, he can walk, he can feed himself and look after himself and also still do his hobby. The stroke has affected his brain and he does have problems with his speech and movement but other than that hes here and still with us.

For the last six month though I can't stop worrying about him and that he might die at any moment. It's like I'm on edge waiting for him to die because he had a stroke already. He may even be healthier than before his stroke due to losing weight and the meds he's on etc 

Is it normal to worry about him like this? It's a bit selfish really because I worry what affect it will have on me if he does die? And will it be the final straw to push me over the edge and unable to cope with life anymore?

Have any of you lost parents whilst struggling with your mental problems? If so how did it affect you?

I know it's a morbid question but it's on my mind all the time. They aren't getting any younger and won't be around forever

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  • Posted

    Hi. My anxiety and panic attavks started when i lost my dad almost 3yrs ago. Just like you, i have always worried about him and his health and the fear of losing him. And then it happened, and it greatly affected my life leading to anxiety, panic and fear of death and being ill. It was traumatazing for me cause im a daddy's girl.. but though it is hard for me until now with the anxiety and everything, life goes on. I lost my dad in over 24hrs but i know that he knew how much i loved him, so there are no regrets.. my advice for you is to try not to worry and just enjoy the time of you and your dad together and show him how you love him everyday.. if you believe in God and life after death, try listening to Carrie Underwood's song, Temporary Home. It's a very beautiful song, the lyrics goes like this "This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong. Windows and rooms that we're passing through, this i just a stop on the way to where we're going. Im not afraid because i know this is our temporary home" smile i hope it'll make you feel better. smile
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    • Posted

      Hi Elis, thank you very much for your reply and I'm sorry you had it so bad with the loss of your dad. In a way it's good to know you survived it and have a good outlook on how life is now, as in 'life goes on'! Give me hope for when the day comes

      Thank you for singing me the song too smile I've just listen to it, very nice song, the end part with the old guy brought back some memories 

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  • Posted

    My father had a triple bypass when i was about 19 and he came through it and lived a long time there after. Its like you said he got healthier afterwards. I used to always pray to die when they died until i met my husband and my own life began then i realised it was a mix of love and fear. But i actually worry deep inside about my family now as well. We are in this vulnerable state at times and its truly annoying to feel so heloless. I wish there was a magic wand to make this all just go away. But i am now older and have ailments myself and the anxiety so its just hard at times and then there are months i feel great even with the ailments. I dont get this anxiety stuff it really rewires the brain and i cant figure out for the life of me how to fix it or why it doesnt fix itself already. I live one day at a time and try to be grateful for stuff and use meditations and audiobooks and just keep hoping some scientists figure it out and it makes headlines immediately. Ulcers turned out to be a bacteria and they used to let people suffer and say it was stress .. so theres hope here. The sooner the better.
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  • Posted

    I am so sorry you at going through this hardship.

    March of 2014 my dad also had a massive strokr due to poorly controlled hbp. Like it was so bad and he was obese. He was a very hard-working man but for the pass couple of years it honestly felt like he was giving up and didn't care anymore because of all the stress he had piling on him. Anyway so he had his stroke last year March and it was very terrifying. The Neuro surgeon said that if they don't operate he was going to die and if they do operate then he was gonna be on life support. Luckily he survived and was in a rehab hospital after 2 weeks from his surgery. He came home after 2 1/2 months and he was struggling bad. Fast forward to present time and he's still struggling but he's made improvements. He walks with a cane right arm is paralyzed, has aphasia(speech problem) although he is very aware of what is going on, and he remembers his past. There has to be someone with him 24/7 for meds and the bathroom and to prepare his food (he can few himself). Btw my dad was 47 when he had his stroke. I was 18 when this happened. He can no longer work, but I told him I'm going to be starting a DIY furniture business/hobby and that we'll be co-managers so he's looking forward to that since he can't work anymore.

    It is very hard on the family because we have bills and a house and then him to take care of so it is very stressful. Me, my mom and sis are trying our best, so I understand the stress.

    My anxiety was heightned after his stroke I've started to worry about everyone else's health I sometimes think I'll have a serious illness. My sister is overwight and mom is getting older so I think about people dying. And it's very tough.

    The only advice I can give you is to be there for him and give him all the love you can because the truth is were all going to die so enjoy the time you have so with him. I remember when I was younger I hated to hang around my parents but since this event I can hang with them all day long.

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