Worst Morning So Far

Hi Chalkie

I know its so frustrating not being in control. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your in it for the long haul. I wish it was like a cold (a couple of weeks and then better). Unfortunately that is not the case. It's very difficult to try and stay calm when your at home with little motivation. I've given up work for the rest of this week as i need a couple of days to settle after losing the plot yesterday.

You have to take each hour of each day as it comes.

You gave me some good advice a few days ago. Have spoken to the doc. It seems flu can take 4 to 9 weeks to have a positive effect. Just look at other experiences on this site. Look at some of the ones where people have been on flu for over 3 months.

The depression will probably have been building up for some time before you sought help. Things will improve i promise. I'm having a few more level days now than a couple of weeks ago (5 weeks and 3 days now). Be patient but i do know how annoying, frustrating and upsetting it is.

Best wishes

Thanks Meganpooch (good name by the way).I think you have picked up how frustrated i am. All i want like so many others is to be okay.

I'am sorry to hear about your \"wobble\" at work i hope it was'nt someone giving you a hard time. This is what concerns me, simply because people don't understand the issue. I still believe there is the mentallity in this country of the stiff upper lip, just pull yourselve together attitude.

Your very brave working at this time, have you not stopped working or did you have some time off at first. If so how long was you off.

Sorry if i'am being too noisy and you don't have to answer but just being able to touch base with you guys has helped no end.

Anyway i wish you all, all the best good luck everyone.

Hi Chalkie

Meganpooch was my third attempt at registering on this site!

The reason for wobble is explained on posting 'up and down like a yo yo'. You might find it useful reading my replies to posting 'horrible thoughts and topsy turvy days' as well.

I don't think you are being nosy. I find it helps to talk about this subject. We are all in the same boat and the useful thing is we are all at different stages of the treatment. I have experienced some of what you are going through and others that have been on flu longer than me help me to cope. That's all we can do. It won't last forever and it does get easier eventually (so i've been told).

On the work front this is the first time i've taken sick leave. I was managing to cope with frequent bursts of frustration and emotional build up. The work was taking far longer to complete but i have a very understanding management team. It's either go to work and be around people (i didnt need to talk to them) or be at home on my own. Right now home is the best place but i wouldn't want to do it for long.

There is definately a stigma attached to mental illness. People at work i've spoken to have said 'don't tell anyone i had it' like it's a dirty subject. I'll tell anyone that asks but maybe that's my personality.

It's a learning curve for us all and this site is so comforting and reassuring. As time for you progresses, you will be able to help others who are just starting on their course of treatment. Their replies to your postings will hopefully give you a positive boost like they have for me.

Hang in there and give the flu a chance to do its stuff. It's a tough call i know.

Did you know that caffeine does not help? Apparantly it increases irritability. Read that on a website tonight. Unfortunately that was after drinking 3 cups of tea and a bottle of Coke. Oh well ce la vie.

Hi Chalkie

How are things with you today?

Hi Meganpooch,

As i write i don't feel too bad. Had another bad morning though could'nt motivate myself to get out of bed. Did after half hour but when the children and the missis went i just sat on the sofa for a hour drifting in and out of sleep. It's the first time i have felt really tired.

It's weird in the morning (first couple of hours) i felt c**p then by lunchtime i feel that i'm good enough to go back to work. Having said that it's easy saying that when i'm under no pressure as such.

Anyway enough about me how are you? hope you are feeling better today.

Thanks for asking about me it shows someone somewhere cares.

P.S. i'm going to pick the kids up from school, which should be interesing.

Good to hear from you Chalkie.

Everyone on this site cares and will not judge anything you say. We are all in the same situation.

Good for you for picking up the kids from school. You need goals to aim for and even if it's not plain sailing it's worth a try.

I'm not overly keen on public places at the moment. Parks are ok but social gatherings are not.

A very good friend suggested a day at the seaside with a meal out. I said sea air was a good idea but meal was a no no for now. The sea is good cause this time of year there are not many people around and you can shout and scream at it without a reply!

My morning was short. Got up at 11.30am. Probably had something to do with being still awake at 3am! Not a very good start with the shakes but since logging on to this site things have improved slightly.

Will be going back to work on Monday but might only last the day. Will have to see. Can't take big steps at the moment. It's like a ladder, taking small steps up every day but sometimes dropping down 1 or 2. Will try not to be too despondent.

Keep in touch and if i can help i will. Others are helping me also.

This site is becoming like a drug but with no nasty side effects!!

Hi Meganpooch, got the kids without much drama. Glad your feeling a bit better as the day as gone on. Do you have bad mornings? how do you cope on a work day?

Making kids tea in between writing this so like you say little steps.

nice to hear from you keep well. Good luck on Monday with work.

Hi Chalkie

Glad the kids pick up went ok and making their tea as well, you are doing well.

Have had an eventless day, partially my choice. Building up my energy for Monday i suppose. Also will be busy at weekend.

Spoke to my elderly dad who unfortunately is in the ignorant catagory, said the usual ignorant things. Will be seeing him tomorrow which should be a challenge on keeping my cool!!

The trouble with depression is that no two days are the same. Yesterday morning i was fine, this morning, not so. There is no regular pattern that you can get used to. I think, from reading other postings, that this goes on for some months too.

Well done for your small steps today.

Good luck for tomorrow.