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Worst nightmare

Posted , 6 users are following.

Koolredd
Koolredd

I'm 20.

Not going to deny that I've been around a little bit ... But I'm in a relationship , supposed to be a faithful relationship but I guess you can say I messed up on that part. Not like you think tho guys I promise.

I Got diagnosed with herpes 2 TODAY December 15th, 2015

No idea how to deal with this .. At all depression is an understatement . Just want to die .. I don't know what life is , all I do is cry ,

The crazy thing is my boyfriend doesn't even know yet , pretty crazy thing to tell him , he constantly sees me crying and constantly asks me what's wrong ., I don't know how to tell him at the least I can tell him I didn't cheat on him with a dude , but how do I tell him that I have herpes .. And he more then likely got diagnosed with it.

My first breakout ., which is healing from what I can see was pretty bad me and my dude thought it was just a chemical / 2nd degree burn from me using nair like I usually do . But after a swab or two I learned differently . Couldnt wash myself that's how bad it was . A&D Vaseline was like my best friend ..,

I Don't know how in the world I'm suppose to tell him , if he leaves me I don't think I can face with life again , how am I suppose to tell my family? My daddy ? My brothers .. This is like my worst nightmare Come true .. I mean why couldnt I get a disease that is curable , gonorrhea, chalymdia something ., I use to talk down & about people with these type of situations .., I can't get rid of this . I'm a nervous train wreck with fear of what the breakouts will do to me ., all unanswered questions , all the nurse told me was I had herpes ., I didn't get anymore information I was too in shock , I'm still in shock , I just feel like FUCK life (excuse my language) but I have nothing to live for .,, please tell me life gets better ? Feel like dying ., I don't know what life is now

0 likes, 40 replies

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  • tiffini_a85221
    tiffini_a85221 Koolredd

    Posted

    Stress levels and your diet contributes to it. I'm going to try this thing called oxygen therapy and a vegetarian detox its said that it can rid it from our bodies
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus tiffini_a85221

      Posted

      Unfortunately, nothing currently available can rid your body of HSV. It is life-long. There is also no scientifically proven diet for herpes despite the many online claims (just eat a healthy, balanced diet; if something seems to be a personal trigger for you, then eliminate it), and everyday stress is not a proven trigger (but prolonged, high stress can be).
  • stephanie1217
    stephanie1217 Koolredd

    Posted

    i too just got diagnosed on dec 14 2015 im still in shok idk how to let it sink in my boyfriends know about it and when i found out i did too went into our room he was sleeping i woke him up and screamed it at him crying my eyes out and said i tested + for hsv1 and 2..i got both and  i too rather wished i had something else besides this..we were talking about it this morning were bummed out idk how i contrated this we been faithful to each other going on 2 years in feb sucks you know..im still naive to all of this girl i cried sooo much last night till i k.o i seem like i cant stop thinking about it im at work and im not all here wish it can go away..ive never had a breakout till the day after thanksgiving after a long romantic night with my man..i thought i had a cut cause i shaved the day before and had sex rough at that so i thought maybe a cut or a tear ...but it got painful i couldnt wash right sit or walk right i took a look down there and i had a red blistery disgusting thing down there i freaked out so i made a appt somewhere free cause i dont have no insurance and i the doc explained just by looking at it its hsv omg god my heart dropped i said it a fckn cut!! she said no!  most of time im right i know how they look every 1 out of 4 have it so its pretty common i guess!! but sorry for my long story i needed to vent and im dying inside i always maintained clean and try to protect myself but sometimes thats not even enough i guess....i pray for a cure..at least i knw im not alone in this !
    • Koolredd
      Koolredd stephanie1217

      Posted

      So does your boyfriend have it ?

      At least your boyfriend knows about it , I'm still trying to figure out how to tell mine .. We been together for going on 4 years in June . If he leaves me I will just die .. I said something about herpes and he started freaking out ... I didn't know what to say after that so I just kept silent, I don't even know how the hell to tell people my daddy, my siblings none of it. I don't have insurance either but I know my daddy would pay for the medicine I need it's all a matter of telling him and I seriously don't know how to do that. This is like bumming me out , everyone asks what'd wrong with me and why I look so depressed and why I don't smile but I literally feel like I have NOTHING to live for anymore .. Like who the hell invents these type of diseases without a cure ?? I would've rather been burning with gonorrhea then to get this lifetime disease ..

      If neither one of you stepped out of the relationship then where did the herpes come from ?

      I'm too scared to get oral sex now I'm too scared to give it I don't know how any of this works and that's the scary part, I don't want anyone drinking or eating off me .. The less I do with people the safer I feel ..,

      You just got diagnosed with it like me a day before I did .

      Did you tell anyone else besides your boyfriend ? Since you have both 1&2 have you experienced any cold sores on or inside of your mouth ?

    • Koolredd
      Koolredd stephanie1217

      Posted

      Don't feel to Guilty I'm going through it too . I'm a train wreck the only thing I can think about is how young I am and how I have to he stuck with this shit for the rest of my life like what if me and my boyfriend don't work out ? I don't even think I can kids or any of that . I refuse to date again if me and my boyfriend don't stay together .. I just know I need to get to a doctor and get some type of suppressive medicine and I think you should to , your boyfriend also .

      Don't get to down people say that as the days go on you start to deal with it but I don't think that will be possible for me ., life couldn't get any worse at this point ,

  • stephanie1217
    stephanie1217 Koolredd

    Posted

    tbh idk how i contracted this virus...but one thing i do know how i contrated the hsv1 by sharing with my sister n law my husband and i share with her drinks food and cigarettes ive never knew she had two coldsores before and my husband one last year never did i think about it till now that thats how i got the type 1 and to have type 2 idk that im confused about ...i cant recall i had a gf for 3 years before being with my husband and that was 2 years ago sooo honestly i might of caught by her but not sure 
  • j08653
    j08653 Koolredd

    Posted

    Called my doc today and he pretty much said told me I was negative until my last test (this is going back at least 7 years).  So that means I definitely know where I got it. SOOOOOO F'in pissed off right now, but kinda happy. Ex is extremely immature and told me to leave her alone lol. I'm still gonna forward them to her so she can cry a river somewhere else and direct her anger at herself. I knew I wasn't before. I don't eat or drink behind anyone I'm not in a relationship with because if I'm kissing them i'll get something anyway (her and my ex ex). Need to make kissing condoms as well lol. I don't even eat or drink behind my own mother, which she calls me out on (thank goodness I don't). I rarely drink alcohol and again don't share for this precise reason of catching something. I live on my own and I don't go out much because I'm a  workaholic. 
    • Koolredd
      Koolredd j08653

      Posted

      So you have herpes ? What type ?

      The way you feel and the way I feel is completely different I guess it's because I'm in a relationship and all that .. And the news hit me hard ,

      How old are you ?

    • j08653
      j08653 Koolredd

      Posted

      I have type 1. Don't worry I don't feel great about it at all. I do however know I didn't already have it and who I got it from. My ex doesn't want to tell me her status before as she tried to say I had it before her. I never had an outbreak or anything until recently or tested positive until after we were together. And like I said, this is going back 7 years.

      It still sucks because if I want to date someone, I'd want to disclose it for my own integrity. However, my doc said it's so common that as long as I was safe there would be no real need to do much. Just dont be risky with it. But I'm afraid of doing that and giving it to someone else. And then to have to preface each date with hey i've got the herp, and I've only been with 2 people...so yeah. I guess i always rejoice in small victories.

    • Koolredd
      Koolredd j08653

      Posted

      Type one isn't as bad as type 2 tho. I guess as long as you don't have an outbreak your good , you can still give oral , kiss and all that or no ? (Not trying to get to personal) I thought type one was only on the lips and mouth ? that's visible. As people refer to it as a skin condition ... Your isn't as bad as type two . What are your outbreaks like ?
    • j08653
      j08653 Koolredd

      Posted

      Well both  types can end up in either area but type 1 is more common for the lips and mouth and type 2 for the genitals. I've never had a cold sore or anything remotely close to an std. But I'd gladly take the clap and be done with it once. I have no idea how either manifests as I've never had a cold sore. But the few weeks ( i think) I've had increased inflammation in my groin. So I'm not sure. I dunno about oral or anything. I won't be having a relationship any time soon, as my distrust in women is at an all time high (no offense). Been dumped twice now and given that same generic reason. So im just gonna work and work and put women on the backburner. Not doing that got me here lol.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Koolredd

      Posted

      Again, the number does not have *anything* to do with the location of the infection. It is simply the virus type/name. Saying your gf has Type 1 but gave you Type 2 is like saying your gf has measles but gave you mumps, which is impossible unless she also has mumps! Two completely separate viruses!! So, from what you've said, you probably have Type 1 genitally, not Type 2, unless you have a lab report that says otherwise.
    • Koolredd
      Koolredd FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thanks for your knowledge ..

      Do you have herpes ? Quick question .

    • Koolredd
      Koolredd j08653

      Posted

      That how I feel I would've rather gotten burned with chlamydia got a shot and got the shit over with .. I'm stuck with this and that's all I can seem to think about. The good thing about type 1 is everyone gets cold sores I don't think it can be that bad of a break out ?

      Females are shiesty I'll admit to that . A female gave it to me also ... More then likely

      And I'm too young to have this type of std & stress on my hands . Feels like I'm hiding the biggest secret of my life .

      They got medicine and stuff for that don't they ? Why don't you get on the medicine .., ?

    • j08653
      j08653 Koolredd

      Posted

      Haha, I just got diagnosed not long ago. Kinda think I'm having somewhat of an outbreak, but not completely sure. I haven't been sick since I was in high school, so I feel fine minus the swollen lymph nodes bothering me. I'm not gonna take medicine just to take it, especially antiretrovirals. If it gets to the point I start to see something else, I'd get to the doc pronto. 
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Koolredd

      Posted

      No prob, and yes I do. I have Type 2 genitally, which is worse than Type 1 genitally. I would much rather have Type 1 down there, if given the choice!
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