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About a month and a half ago I found out I was pregnant, I felt a mixture of emotions but truthfuly I was over the moon about it. As a few weeks went by people started to have there own opinions and of course some was negative. Me and my fiance are both 21 we don't lead a life where we go out every weekend and would make absaloutly amazing parents, we then decided after all of this that it wouldn't be fair to raise a child in the situation we was in as we still lived with parents and certainly wasn't financially stable! This broke my heart I've never been so upset about a decision in my entire life. I planned to go to the clinic after my holiday so any bleeding didn't occur while I was away (this was not for any sort of selfishness). As I arrived at the clinic I was petrified and mortified I was not allowed anybody to even sit in the waiting room with me, the whole time I'd planned on having a medical abortion but then the horror came I was to far gone for that so thwy would have to perform a surgical. I had to come back the next day and by this time I was a state I've never had to make a decision so hard in all my life. One the surgery was over I suddenly felt a sense of relief but I felt so horrible for feeling that was but I also was glad it hadn't effected me. Little did I know a few hours past and I just burst into tears not know what the he'll I'd done and regretting every second. Ever since I have cried every single day I am snapping at people I'm walking off on my own so I don't see anybody and I just know I've made the wrong decision I was having night mares waking up and my whole body was having some sort of mini fit, I weno to the doctors and was told it was the start of PTSD. Given half the chance I would rowing time and have my baby and do anything I could to make it work. I go to sleep crying I wake up crying I look in the mirror and cry I will start breaking down every time I have a second to think. I have to hide it from work I put on a brave face people think im fine but I'm not at all please someone tell me how I can get through this?!
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