Would you class this as a Drinking problem?

Posted , 10 users are following.

My Mrs. has made me paranoid about drinking, i used to drink every day back in July / August last year - and this was only ever 2-3 beers after work max.

Then i went to 2-3 times a week from september to around december - again only 1 or 2 beers OR 1 or 2 double jack daniels and coke.  

Since january i have had alcohol about 5 times in total but never really get drunk - only 1 or 2 drinks. The last time I was actually drunk was new years eve just gone. Other than that id be lucky to get even tipsy.

Whenever I DO have these few drinks I always get remarks like "i hate you drinking" or "your an alcoholic" or "take the drink out of the house you have a drinking problem"

So to stop all the grief I get over 1 or 2 drinks from time to time I stick to Jack Daniels as it hides in the coke mix, however she has even gone to lengths of smelling each drink... its like living with a detective. 

So now ive even gone to "hiding" it upstairs hoping she would just leave off - but she is truly relentless... she looks everywhere. 

I do like a drink, I never think of it before 6pm unless its a weekend or im really bored at home. I work full time and its never effected me financially. I am not violent on it, not one bit - the only difference is im happier then sleepier.... and if she hits a nerve with me or she is in a bad mood i go off the rails easier in an arguement and my fuse is slightly shorter but only when provoked.

1) Is this me being paranoid?

2) have i actually got a drinking problem but in denial?

3) is she just an intolerant nasty piece of work who wants to stop be having a few drinks just because she hates the smell of it and doesnt drink herself?

I have no clue and would really appreciate your opinions. 



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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Sorry you're having relationship problems. I'd say if you can go for a week or more, not needing to drink then you're ok. But most of us on this site can't do that. Until we find a way to recover. And you can. Let us know what is happening and there's a lot on this forum who can help
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  • Posted

    Honestly, if I managed to drink as little as you, I'd be a happy man. Unfortunately, having an alcohol problem is not something you can count in Units. If you can't control the amount you drink, if you hide your drinking from your friends and beloved, that's when you have a problem.

    If you want to make sure that your missus is obsessed, there is an easy way out. Try not to touch any alcoholic drink for, say 1 month. After that..you can claim with some certainty that she is a nag :-) If you struggle to stay clean, then she has a point...!

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  • Posted

    I don't want to comment on your wife's behaviour but, from what you describe, you are not a serious problem drinker.

    You need to have a chat with her about what you will and won't accept in the relationship though smile Nobody should feel their partner is like their jailer smile

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    • Posted

      Hello Luk. I fully agree with Dreamdancer that you do not have any serious drinking problems and this is more of a relationship issue. You need to have a sit down and chat with your partner and it does seem that you should clear the air. One month not drinking is interesting and do try it if you can but I do not think that this is crucial. You are taking breaks with your drinking which is also great. Best of luck! Robin
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  • Posted

    You possibly did something at ONE time during having a drink that upset her and now it hits a nerve?

    TO ME...it doesn't sound like you are a heavy or problem drinker.

    They usually say if you are HIDING your alcohol...you could have a problem

    BUT..you aren't hiding it because you drink alot and it has become an actual health or lifestyle concern.  You are hiding it because your wife is flipping out...LOL.  I'm sorry.

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  • Posted

    Its possible she has had bad experiences of living with the effects of alcohol before. I know that if I have even one my husband goes apopleptic because of the trauma I've caused in the past.  It might not be you thats the problem, but something thats happened to her before - Did one of her family members have a bad drink problem? Shes probably trying to protect you and herself - dont know if you have kids. When they come into the picture its a whole new scenario.

    I have a now grown up son, and he practically never drinks, and after seeing me under the influence so many times I dont blame him.

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  • Posted

    I agree with the other comments.  It would seem that a good chat, expressing your feelings and listening to your partner's point of view in a calm non-drinking environment is the order of the day. 

    I thought your point no 3 was quite 'telling' !  Good luck. 

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