Yes, I can dance.....
Posted , 3 users are following.
Sober!
I love music...it is the only release...the only time I feel no pain....or I feel the pain and it is felt in a healthy way....
I struggle with feelings....that is why I drink.
I struggle with reality...that is why I drink.
When music is on there is no reality...just noise that makes sense...that occupies my mind.....that moves my soul....I love music and I am so glad that I can dance SOBER.
When I was younger..I never thought I could dance sober...because from dance #1 I was DRUNK. And for years after that dancing was always drunk.
The first time I ever danced sober was last year , I was waiting for my b/f to come out of a rest room in a resturaunt we were at....the restroom was located in the "bar" area. In the bar area...there was a live band....I started to dance in place....and it felt so good to feel in control of my body...and I HAD MOVES...LOL.
He came out of the bathroom and I snuggled danced up to him...it was great...we hung out at the bar for a few minutes cause I was having so much fun sober.
Tonight we took a ride in the truck...3 good songs in a row....we were dancing in our seats..me out of control.....and loving it...and loving being sober enough to feel it.
2 likes, 8 replies
deirdre._03652 Misssy2
Posted
I can soooo understand how you feel, it is amazing to actually enjoy life once more....I tend to drink about four times a week...( i went for ten years with my drinking completely under control )
We go out twice a week with friends...I have say...three pints, but then when I get home..I will have some HIDDEN VODKA...
I do not get really drunk. And the cravings are not unbearable..
My whole life is so much better now...no rows or constant crying..no tension constantly, thank heavens...
I feel that I have known you for a long time lovely lady...you are an amazing young lady..your posts are always good, I enjoy reading each and every one of them...
Only an alcoholic can even begin to imagine the desperate...skin crawling....hair pulling...churning sense of sheer, utter, and scary loss of control....
Keep up the good work lovely, lovely missy....to each and every single one of us on here...we are not bad or weak people...we have a problem that we hate...and try our best to overcome....big warm, sincere hugs...one and all...respect and admiration for you also....dee xxxx
Misssy2 deirdre._03652
Posted
I honestly don't think I remembered that you DO drink occassionally....thankfully for YOU it has not taken over your life.
Thank you about the posts...I'm glad you enjoy them...I just keep posting what I feel...because although there sometimes may be no comments...I KNOW that there are other people that have many of the same feelings I do.
I think you are a very special lady as well...and you always post excellent responses to those (including me) that are "sick" and "suffering".
I hope you are having a great night...it is too hot for me (the weather) to handle...I couldn't dance today if you PAID me to dance! hahaha
gwen45436 deirdre._03652
Posted
You have hit it right on the head D - churning sense of sheer utter and scary loss of control. And going out with friends and coming back to go find your HIDDEN VODDY - whilst hubs makes a cuppa for himself.
I used to love a mug of hot chocolate on returning from a night out - where on earth did that go.
I don't like myself anymore and talk to myself in the mirror. I say things like - where have your pink cheeks gone or your eyes are dull, why are you so stupid (in private obviously). But it is true, I want them pinkies back.
Good reading all these posts - I will get there - somehow.
G.
gwen45436 Misssy2
Posted
Great post Misssy. I love to dance but only when I have had a few drinks. Weird because I am outgoing and a chatterbox. But without a drink I feel everyone is looking at me - with a drink I don't care.
I am just back from my Doc and asked her about Naltrexone and Campral (which the latter of which I know you are on). She has never heard of either - and I want one or the other. Did the hospital give it to you or your doc?
I am not giving up without a fight.
Tapering well at the mo - but want it down further.
Hey and someone said to me once - "hey you, you got some good moves" after we had a good old boogey on the dancefloor. (Not with hubster, he has three wooden legs - lol)
Good on ya matey, you sound soooooooo much better - long may it continue.
G x
Misssy2 gwen45436
Posted
Where are you from? My General Practiconer prescribed the Campral.
I never asked about Naltraxone because I know it would not work for me as it is supposed to surpress the pleasure you receive from drinking therefore people drink less....no benefits? Why bother?
That said, i'm sure there is a little buzz to be had..but not enough for me...and I would ditch that method and I know myself...well enough.
And instead of me tossing out that pill and ending back in ER....I chose to not drink at all and use Campral. What I DO NOT like about Campral is you have to take so many pills.....6 a day!
I only take 3...and I still think that is alot (my Dr. said it is ok to only take 3 as long as I don't have cravings).
When I did drink this month...I did NOT have CRAVINGS...I was just completely STUCK on what to do with my feelings. I thought that because I didn't have cravings...I may drink less..um...NO...didn't happen.
gwen45436 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy2 gwen45436
Posted
We have to be our own advocates...all the time.
gwen45436 Misssy2
Posted