? Paranoia, menopause taken over

Posted , 8 users are following.

I feel isolated. Make excuses not to go out, yet not much social activity since taking early retirement at 55. Work colleagues of 36 years deserted me. I left work a year ago. Lost my Husband 3 years ago, met my now Husband (angel) then his mum passed away, 12 months later his Dad passed away. Feeling very low despite being happier than I have in many years. Does anyone else fear being happy and worried stressed about every little thing !!!! I'm not a manic women on the edge just like everyone need a shoulder, someone who feels as bad as I do. I feel like I'm being judged all the time. I feel old and a waste of space. ????? When does this end.

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  • Posted

    Paranoia is a question I've often been tempted to ask in this forum but been afraid to for fear of being seen as mad.

    I feel I'm not good enough sometimes, let everyone down, don't perform as one expects , as mother, wife, daughter, grandparent. No one complains, it's in my head.

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    • Posted

      We are not mad, I was working full time a year ago, then periods stopped. All the symptoms everyone talking about are real. I couldn't take the work load and the bitch of a manager so Intook early retirement, told her exactly what I thought of her, went through hell waiting to leave, felt great when I left, then went to pieces. Worried about everything!!! Lie awake at night thinking I'm going to die in sleep. Something will happen to my Son, Husband,Mum. Thoughts going around my head when awake. I feel so lonely but I'm not. I have my Husband and Son and Mum. No real friends, they are never there when you need them. So, no we are not paranoid, we are really suffering from this horrible menopause. Like you I feel I am failing in everything and failing those I love, but we are not we just need to be understood. If your like me I don't really like myself at present, I just hold on to the promise it gets better and hope I still have my sanity at the end of it. It's really reassuring that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Thank you for your input. It really helps.

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    • Posted

      Yes Nita I feel like I'm not good enough anymore, could have done more to help my daughter when she got married, new grandchildren, I don't seem to have the enthusiasm expected of me. Husband doesn't complain but I'm not the woman he married. Low feelings of self worth. Thinking I'd be better off alone. All thoughts in my head, going round and round. I just want to feel stronger, more capable.

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    • Posted

      Hi Maise

      I think most of us feel the same in various ways. I'm 56, had my Son late at 34 by IVF and an only child. He is 22, still at home, gets on very well with my now Husband. He laughs at me, but then he is really just a boy still. Men try to understand but they don't really. Tony reassures me I will be ok and that I'm still the same person and all these things I feel about myself are all in my head, which I suppose they are. We just have to accept we all get older but I was fine until menopause then I think the mind set is "well you have had your youth, now it's time for over 50s plan, saga holidays and incontinence pads!!!! No, I don't want to feel like that!!! Went to Gp today, got me to answer a mental health questionnaire, ticking bloody boxes, said, antidepressants and gave me a prescription for self help books, what a joke and Gp was a woman and not young either. What I can say is chatting to you and others is a great lift and at some point you have made me tear up. Smile and laugh and I thank you so much for that. Life goes on ehh!!!!! Keep going 

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    • Posted

      I'm sorry you are going through this. I get anxiety occasionally, but nothing like that. However, I do know someone who does that I am very close to. She worries non-stop about her parents and family...fires, accidents, illnesses, etc. She gets so upset when the traffic reports on the tv/radio announce an accident. She starts calling her family to make sure they were not in an accident. I don't think your paranoid, just highly anxious. The most important thing I need to remember about my friend is that "no one wants to feel this way"...she always thanks me for being patient with her melt downs.This is a good place to talk with others. We understand.

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    • Posted

      Hi Debbie

      sorry missed your message. Your friend is lucky to have you. You must be a great friend. Wish I had a friend like you. You are right I don't want to feel like this. And to be fobbed off with antidepressants!! Thank you all so much for understanding, you feel like new friends, wish we could all meet up and have a good natter x

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    • Posted

      We can talk any time on here! I really care about anyone who goes through this. Again, we all have to remember that the person going through this does NOT want to feel that way. My friend told me this weekend that she just wants to be "normal," even if that meant the most boring life in the world. Poor thing.

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    • Posted

      Hi Debbie

      I have never been "normal" plagued by pmt, infertility and now this. I managed to overcome depression when I met my Husband 3 years ago after taking antidepressants for over 30 years and to be fobbed off with more after telling her I'd managed to come off them. I don't want to take them! Talking to you, all be it on line, makes me realise how many of us suffer with one thing and another and 99%of us are ignored by medical professionals. I am so tired today but I went out this morning, returned some parcels, had lunch, then went into back garden with Tony and had a good tidy up. It made me feel good but exhausted. Hips burning, back breaking but hell I was smiling and I achieved something. Resting now talking to you. Thank you so much for replying again, sometimes I feel like I'm a big baby and getting on people's nerves. I still haven't picked up that prescription and I'm not going to take them. Say hello to your friend, she sounds like she needs a friend, I can feel for her and what she is going through. You sound like a good person and she is lucky to have you 🤗

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  • Posted

    Dear Nita

    I am so sorry for how you feel. I can relate to your new found happiness which is parallel with extreme sadness. Life is so difficult. You just think you are getting there and then like a wave another anxious few days kick in and you wonder how you are going to navigate life any more. My angel new husband just says on days like that to keep putting one foot in front of another. I fear being happy also. I am certain it won't last and could almost ruin what I have. 

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    • Posted

      Hi

      No matter how you feel it will not ruin what you have, your Husband is right, keep going. It's all you can do. As I said in another chat, went to my Gp today, female, not young did mental health check, ticked boxes, gave antidepressants and self help books on prescription. I nearly threw it at her.  My Husband came with me for support and she completely ignored him. I do find that I'm worse at night and early morning. Went to Birmingham on train today, didn't want to go but felt better for being out. I have 2 miniature Dachshunds and they are great, so I have a lot to be grateful for but until this passes there are still day when I want to stay in bed and shut out the world for good but every day I get up and put on my "face" and keep trying and my Husband says I am very trying Ha Ha, be well and keep chatting it really helps. Thank you so much for input, it really helps to think people care about others 

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  • Posted

    Ahhh this discussion brought tears to my eyes.....I often  wake in the middle of the night battling feelings of guilt  and some sort of paranoia (I'm a bad person, no one really likes me, I'm so bad coz I had 3 glasses of wine tonight...again, I'm fat & worthless).....I know intellectually it's not true but it still generates awful feelings to fight against (adding to the exhaustion).And the feelings feel more real than my intellect. It doesn't help that a lot of us are nearly/or are already 'empty nesters', as well as retiring or stopping work......then we get the ' if I'm not a Mother/Worker, what am I?? Where IS my worth? I feel like its a fierce internal battle to become a new mature me.

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    • Posted

      Hi Lisk

      so sorry didn't mean to upset you.

      I took early retirement. My Son aged 22 still at home. He laughs at me, he thinks I'm ancient anyway. But even he gets snapped at for relatively nothing. I feel exactly the same as you. I love wine and remember it's not a crime. It makes me feel better but then it induces hot flushes, then the guilt sets in and then I look at my profile in the mirror and I  could scream with frustration. Then the whole cycle begins again. My Gp is rubbish just wants to hand out antidepressants. I don't want HRT because of the scare tactics. I feel like I want to run but have nowhere to run to. Mind races impoverished and over but as I said I'm not ready for over 50 plans, saga holidays and incontinence pads (maybe pant liners) !!!!! we all have different or same symptoms and at times even when we don't feel like it we need to laugh, keep going 

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    • Posted

      Yes sometimes I just want to run away too! It's like that movie...Eat Pray Love or something , when she takes off on travels...

      and yes I might feel like crap a lot of the time but I'm not ready to give up yet either.....let's fight this thing!

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    • Posted

      I sometimes think like this, if I was on own I wouldn't hurt anyone else, but then reason kicks in, we don't really want to be alone. Like you say "fight this thing" ? Why is it that women have to do all the damn fighting???? 

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    • Posted

      You have just reminded me of my Son when he had problem bleeding pr, the fuss he made because the Gp examined him. He thought it was the end of the world. We took Micky for days, but he did laugh. He had a small pile that had bled !!!!! Try labour then he'd have something to moan about !!!!!

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