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? Paranoia, menopause taken over

Posted , 8 users are following.

Nita1960
Nita1960

I feel isolated. Make excuses not to go out, yet not much social activity since taking early retirement at 55. Work colleagues of 36 years deserted me. I left work a year ago. Lost my Husband 3 years ago, met my now Husband (angel) then his mum passed away, 12 months later his Dad passed away. Feeling very low despite being happier than I have in many years. Does anyone else fear being happy and worried stressed about every little thing !!!! I'm not a manic women on the edge just like everyone need a shoulder, someone who feels as bad as I do. I feel like I'm being judged all the time. I feel old and a waste of space. ????? When does this end.

1 like, 27 replies

27 Replies

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  • debbie03785
    debbie03785 Nita1960

    Posted

    Hi Nita like others here, your email struck a chord with me. Its an awful time of life. I totally empathise. I found and am still depressed about the realisation of part of my life being over, getting older so much quicker, parts of my body dying etc. I put on lots of weight and hated going out. Im only happy when Im doing things that I enjoy. Try to look at the huge positives you have....a loving partner and loads of free time to do what you like doing. Do what you can for your body, vitamins, pampering, exercise, healthy diet, herbal remedies, maybe hrt? and just try to enjoy the rest of your time. Your friends were not true friends, but do you think you could have backed off from them? Find new friends...night classes, book groups, walking groups, get a dog...yes defo get a dog! Voluntary work? Join a choir, go to the movies, live comedy, go see Jo Jo Sutherland, a comedian from Edinburgh, a lady of a certain age who is so funny youll need to wear tenna ladies. Buy new shoes. There were days when I could have screamed to everyone to just leave me alone but these days have just about passed. Im generally feeling better. It will end but seek help wherever you can get it. Some health centres have menopause groups. Ask your gp receptionist which doc knows most about menopause, and then make an appt, just for a chat about how you feel. I promise this will pass. Be kind to yourself and know there are thousands of ladies feeling exactly the same as you right now. It wont be long before youre offering others advice, I promise. Xx
    • Nita1960
      Nita1960 debbie03785

      Posted

      Hi Debbie

      Thank you for reply. I too have days when I hate myself. I do have positives in my life. My Husband is fantastic. I have 2 miniature Dachshunds, Peanut and Sammi, they keep me going!!! 6am every morning or I don't think I would get out of bed until midday. I find it very hard to mix socially because under all the bravado I'm painfully shy. I don't miss work but I do miss the company. I take herbal remedies and love reading and music. HRT is not something I want to start due to bad press and scare tactics. My Gp says vigorous exercise and antidepressants??? The only thing I haven't given up on is my skin care and putting on my "face" nearly every day. I promised myself I wouldn't stop taking care of myself and I haven't. I just feel so tired and "lazy" is that the right word? Everyone says it will end so I just have to hope it will be sooner rather than later. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 

    • debbie03785
      debbie03785 Nita1960

      Posted

      Have you had your thyroid levels checked? Low levels can make you feel tired and lazy...x
    • debbie03785
      debbie03785 Nita1960

      Posted

      Have a look at the signs and symptoms on this site, and if you have two or three of them, just go back and ask for a test. Honestly, its like a bloody battle this menopause, having to fight just to be heard. You would think give your tiredness, you would have had a blood screening. Keep on thier case, as in my experience, if you dont push, you get nothing from docs. They should also check your bp and glucose. Most chemists will do this for you too. Hope you are feeling more reassured with all these replies. It will get better, I promise xx
    • Guest
      Guest debbie03785

      Posted

      I agree...anyone with our symptoms should at least get their oestrogen, progesterone, testosterone, TSH/T3/T4 (thyroid), iodine, iron, magnesium/calcium/Vit D, sugar levels checked as an absolute minimum....why do they assume we are neurotic or something.....then there's the functional/ integrative medicine doctors that are unaffordable...who is out there that really what's to help us!, 

    • Nita1960
      Nita1960 debbie03785

      Posted

      I am a terrible coward and won't push for tests. My Gp is old school and quite frosty to say the least. Perhaps I should change Gp. I was med secretary for 36 years and the Gp I worked for was great if I needed anything. Now it's very hard. I was told to buy my own Vit D, but the one I was on you couldn't buy. Also to buy my own pain killers etc. Some Gps should be in the job x

  • jeny86397
    jeny86397 Nita1960

    Posted

    Hi Nita, I'm sorry to here your feeling so low, I get where ur coming from, I too fear goin out and getting together with friends, I have given myself a massive kick up the bum, I have joined the gym and go four days a week, I'm so tired all the time and could crawl into my bed and stay there forever, joining the gym is the best thing Iv done since being peri, exercise is so good for ur mental health as well as the physical. Hope things get better for you soon, take care,x

    • Nita1960
      Nita1960 jeny86397

      Posted

      Hi Jeny

      you are very brave. I could not pluck up courage to go to gym. I'm a scary cat. I too could just curl up in bed. So tired all the time. I still cook and look after my two mini Dachshunds Peanuut and Sammi, My Husband bought me a exercising machine that helps you do sit ups etc. I know exercise is good for hormone production it's just finding energy. Take care too. Thank you for advice.

  • callianne_65675
    callianne_65675 Nita1960

    Posted

    Life seems to be like that. Great things happen alongside horrid things. I also get nervous when I'm happy. I seem to have had so many tough years. So have you. Enjoy what you do have, life is for the living as they say. You're young still, don't read negative media about females over 50. Read and look at things that warm you and nurture your very core.  I'm so pleased you found someone to love and someone who loves you. (In China, women become more valuable as they age you know!).I'm sorry for your losses, but I am so pleased for your gains. xx

    P.S. YES! I worry about EVERYTHING!

    • Nita1960
      Nita1960 callianne_65675

      Posted

      Hi

      you made me laugh, perhaps I should move to China, ha ha, they wouldn't let me in!!!! Thank you. I think if we are human, loving caring thoughtful women we do worry about everything because we do care. It's what makes us what we are. Thanks Callianne! Here's to another day xx

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