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"Victories in Self-Compassion/Self-Care/Self-Nurturing"

Posted , 7 users are following.

CCinCal
CCinCal

Hi ladies,

I was reading a few posts and saw a theme about wanting to be more self caring and self loving towards ourselves. And I thought maybe we can share what we've done to be more gentler to ourselves.

I remember over a decade ago a friend made the comment that I was so hard on myself. It took me by surprise and actually I had no idea what she even meant. Since then I've realized that I'm what you'd call a perfectionist. And now going through peri, perfectionism and being hard on myself is really working against me.

So I thought maybe we can share on what one or two things that we've done daily to be more self compassionate with ourselves.

I can start. I woke up late today. 11:30 am. I always put myself down when I wake up late. Thinking other people are at work, I've wasted half a day. I'm lazy etc. Today I followed those thoughts with compassion for myself 1. I'm still recovering from surgery so I can give myself a break, listen to my body and give it what it needs 2. I don't have any place to be today so it's OK. 3. I'm sure there's others in their pj's at that time.

Anyone else being nice to themselves today? ??

2 likes, 34 replies

34 Replies

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  • bobbysgirl
    bobbysgirl CCinCal

    Posted

    I know I am the same, I hate to 'waste' a day. But sometimes your body knows best!smile

    I am having terrible problems with my neck and shoulders (doctors haven't a clue) So when I can afford it I treat myself to a back massage, half an hour of total me time - lovely.

    • CCinCal
      CCinCal bobbysgirl

      Posted

      Sorry to hear you're having shoulder and neck pain. I am too. I did same thing a couple of days ago. Went to get a 15 minute chair massage. First massage in years. Hurray for us for treating our bodies with what it needs.

    • ceola22
      ceola22 bobbysgirl

      Posted

      I do the same at times, massages are very relaxing. However, I went to one place in Chicago and the guy almost broke my back. It was the worse massage I ever had it wasn't the typical soft tissue massage. My daughter gifted me a massage a "Groupon" for Xmas last year. My back was beaten, legs pulled, neck cracked, etc. I was not pleased with it at all.  However, I was too embarrassed to inform the Asia guy who spoke no English that I was a 49 year old menopausal woman with fragile bones. Next time, I will pay attention and get a soft tissue massage only, I can't go wrong with that one at my state & age. My bone are very fragile plus I'm taking thyroid meds which doesn't make it any better. 

  • jamie50513
    jamie50513 CCinCal

    Posted

    I cut down on all the running around I used to do. I definetly needed to slow down. I also have to say NO!!! without feeling guilty afterward. I try to stay away from stressful situations as much as possible. Less stress helps the symptoms not be so bad.
    • CCinCal
      CCinCal jamie50513

      Posted

      Yes saying no without feeling guilty is something I'm working on too, especially with my mom. Great you cut down on the running around.

  • Guest
    Guest CCinCal

    Posted

    I love this post and thank you for it!

    As I mention too often, I've been through a lot of health issues this year.  I'm a very independent, stubborn, anxious person with some OCD tendencies and extremely self-critical.  So I'm looking into getting help for my anxiety, possibly CBT, and living a simpler, healthier life.

    • CCinCal
      CCinCal Guest

      Posted

      Willingness into looking into getting help is a huge step forward Elizabeth. That's awesome! Like you quoted "... Courage to change the things I can ..."

    • Guest
      Guest CCinCal

      Posted

      Thank you.  I just know it's time to do something about it... can't keep going like this.

    • maisie05
      maisie05 Guest

      Posted

      Hi, Hope you are well and following our posts in menopause. Not seen you for a while xx
    • CCinCal
      CCinCal maisie05

      Posted

      Hi Maisie yes hope healingmylife is hanging in there with us. I was off boards past week and trying to catch up on all the 60+ new posting! Active board this is 😀

      Well one thing I can report under this self-care topic that I'm practicing is ending conversations, phone calls in a timely manner before it gets to be too dragged out. Usually I've waited for the other person to end the conversations. With one neighbor in particular its hard for me to get a word in edgewise. She's a talker. It's only when she comes up for air that I can squeeze anything in. So last time we bumped into each other we said our hellos, and before she could go into some long rehashed story/complaint about our apartment building I said it was nice bumping into her and to have a nice day.

      And it felt good. Felt empowered.

  • sue58256
    sue58256 CCinCal

    Posted

    that is really inspiring cc I too am guilty of this every since my childhood and I am trying to like my self more its a struggle but I will keep trying thank you for your post it is uplifting 
    • CCinCal
      CCinCal sue58256

      Posted

      Thanks feel free to post your self care/ self nurture/ self compassion victories. I'm hoping we can share something positive we did for ourselves. Nothing is too small or too large ??

    • sue58256
      sue58256 CCinCal

      Posted

      funny enough when I had my cbt session yesterday she said the same thing she said i was good at encouraging and uplifting others but not my self its hard but im going to try and when it does happen i shall post it x
    • CCinCal
      CCinCal sue58256

      Posted

      Going to cbt and the effort you put into it is total self-care victory! 👏👏👋👋
  • looloo43
    looloo43 CCinCal

    Posted

    Spot on Sis. It takes practise when you're a perfectionist. I bet you're a "people pleaser" type too. (both traits just like me). If we don't try & be gentler on ourselves, we actually put undue pressure & stress on ourselves!!! It's ironic really. Great post Sis. big hug to you. xxx

    • Guest
      Guest looloo43

      Posted

      Oh goodness, I'm a people pleaser, too... everybody else seems to come first... so hard to break that pattern.  My sister says she is the same way.  It's how we were raised.  Very hard.

    • CCinCal
      CCinCal looloo43

      Posted

      Yes Sis I'm a people pleaser too at least we know it right? Awareness is first step. ??

    • looloo43
      looloo43 CCinCal

      Posted

      Yes Sis, Awareness definately first step. Then you can recognise what needs changing, or what has to be accepted. xx
    • CCinCal
      CCinCal Guest

      Posted

      Let's try to break this people pleasing habit this coming week. Just one thing consciously and report back.

    • Guest
      Guest CCinCal

      Posted

      I'll try.  Unfortunately, my entire job is all about that, so it won't happen there, most likely.

    • Guest
      Guest CCinCal

      Posted

      I think this counts...

      I didn't sleep much last night at all, thanks to the UTI.  Got up this morning and realized that I just wasn't in a hurry at all.  Instead of rushing through the motions and running off to work, I let my supervisor know that I'd be a little late.  I fixed myself a healthy breakfast and took my time eating it, had plenty of water with the Cipro, and got myself together.  Didn't worry about whether or not anyone else would care if I was a little late; I've covered for others when they are late.  I took care of myself and arrived feeling calm.

    • CCinCal
      CCinCal Guest

      Posted

      Not only does it count but that's a huge victory! It counts extra in my book. When work and bosses and authority figures are involved it's especially hard. But you did it. You took care of yourself!!! And you went in calm and not rushed and that's self care too. And it's only Monday! Great way to start the week! ????????

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