10 year addicting to Opiates

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I have a chronic pain condition that my Doctor prescribes me Oxycontin for. I started about 10 years ago with Tramadol, I stopped that suddenly when I became pregnant with my son. It was torture but as I was pregnant I had to just stop! When I had him they reputed my bowels and I ended up with a colostomy bag and almost a month in intensive care. Resulting in me back on stronger pain killers this time with Oxycontin. I have now been on these for nearly 5 years. I started with 20mg twice a day and am now taking about 300mg a day. It has completely taken over my life. I am desperate to get off it. I have tried many times but always end up back on it. I have tried a few times to taper but always have a flare up with pain and end up back on them. I have never completely came off them. I am having a lot of other problems now though with fainting and weight loss along with low blood sugars. The doctors are adamant that my pain killers are not to blame for these other issues and they may not be, but I am convinced they are not helping. I think about pain killers every hour or every day. Today I have decided that I am going to taper and get off them for good. I have decided to post on here so I have some sort of support. I do not feel as if I can talk to many of my friends or family about it as they see me in a lot of pain and feel that I need to be on them for my pain. I know the phycological effect they are having on me though, and I despise it. I have decide to cut down just 10mg a day, does anyone think this is a good idea or have any suggestions for me. I went cold turkey with tramadol and it was horrific so I really do not want to go down that road again. I am going to start some meditation and yoga to try and help as well. I have read on a lot of sites about people using immodium for the lotradine in it that people say is an opiate but does not cross the blood brain barrier. Anyone any ideas on this? I am adamant to stop this time so any help would be much appreciated. Thanks.

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  • Posted


    Inkypinky .

    I've been on Oxy myself for 4 plus years now and I understand your concern about the effects it has on your state of mibd. I'm rely struggling myself at minute and trying to come off ... I'm on 60-70mg x2 daily. What i would say is taking 10mg a day is far to much ... I would advise 10mg per week max . To stand a chance of doing it plus so you don't suffer withdraws to bad... This drug is a lot harder than tramadol to come off . You done well for coming off that . You'll do it again I'm sure just take it slow and see how things go . 300mg is a high dose so must be in a lot pain ... I feel for you . I've got crazy nerve pain but I'm still determined to get off this evil drug.

    Take care darling


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    • Posted

      Thanks Danny,

      I think I'm just so impatient and desperate to stop it! I have been passing out a lot and my blood pressure and blood sugar is really low. I am 5ft3 and weigh 7 stone so I'm not big. My GP now thinks I have Addisons disease. So waiting on tests for that. But I can't help thinking its just the amount of chemicals in my system. I've asked if my meds could be contributing but they all say that if anything they would increase my blood pressure and sugar levels. Has anyone experienced any of these sort of symptoms? I have been taking my own blood sugars levels for 4 weeks and I am always under 4. Normally about 2-3. This may have nothing to do with the meds, but I just wondered if anyone had any ideas? I put all my symptoms in the symptom checker thing on here and it flagged up Addisons disease. Does anyone know how accurate that is?

      I usually take 100mg twice a day or Longtec and to be quite honest I just take the shorter like sweeties throughout the day, so a lot of the time I'm not sure how many I have had. Last week I cut down to 80 twice and yesterday I took 80 in the morning and only 40 at night. So this morning I just took 60mg. I am just desperate to get off it! I'm a really impatient person at the best of times. My aim is to be totally off it by Christmas.  

      I don't see that program but when I speak to any one of the GPs at my surgery, every single one of them look at me like I'm really exaggerating my withdrawal symptoms. I honestly don't think that they fully understand the drug. When I fell pregnant my GP told me just to stop the Tramadol that I'd been taking for about 7 years straight away. She said that I wasn't 'addicted' just 'dependant' that I wouldn't suffer withdrawal!! Seriously. It was hellish, plus because I was pregnant I was stressed out my mind that my baby would be an addict etc etc. I am going to watch this on catch up tonight though. What was it called again?

      I am in a lot of pain. But last Monday I had surgery, I have to have surgery every few weeks, but when I am in recovery the pain meds just do not work! I wake up in pain and the nurses can't understand why the fentynal or morphine they are giving me do not make a blind bit of difference. But the are giving me the right dose for my size and its a drop in ocean to what I take at home! 

      Anyway, I am side tracking. I hope you manage to get on Ok Danny. How much are you tapering at a time?

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    • Posted

      Thats the problem sweetheart, most GP's dont understand, they just look in their thick book of medication & say "try this one"

      When i went to my then GP that put me on all that Oxycontin to tell her i had a real serious issue with it & wanted to come off it, i was totally gobsmacked when she said, "im not surprised, its so addictive, we only normally give it to terminal cancer patients as they're going to die anyway so it doesnt matter" WHAT!!!

      Also, that the other DR's were all getting on at her about the high dose she had put me on saying theres no way i should be on that much & she was very lucky i was still here!! I couldnt believe what i was hearing!!

      Because i travelled at the time with work, i even had 2 occassions where i went to a different pharmacy to pick my months worth up, one only gave it me after talking to my then GP to confirm it was actually 800mgs & not 80mgs. The other, refused to even serve me them, even after ringing my then surgery as; "i dont want your death on my hands giving you that much"!!!

      Anyway, my blood sugars were always all over the place, at times very low as my appetite went cus of the Oxy.

      I was also tested 3 times for diabetes as when i had blood tests it showed up i could be diabetic, yet everytime i went for the tests, it was negative.

      Consultants have said that the severe mixed sleep anoea i have where id stop breathing upto 80 x per hour was caused by Oxycontin. I have to use a mask with oxygen to make sure i sleep & wake up in a morning!

      Also, i have to have hormone injections every 3 months due to "Hypergonad Hypergonadism" which is zero testosterone levels, basically no sex drive for 5years, hormones being at 0, my moods etc were horrendous, again, the consultant says caused by guess what!!!

      I think ive told you this before so, memory loss is also a good one 🤣👍

      Im the same, ive been totall free of Oxy since August 2016 but, im trying to rush getting off Methadone. I was put on 115mils to stop withdrawals from the Oxy, im now down to 40mils per day & said i wanted to be off it for Xmas. I reduced it by 10mils for 5 days & it was too much, it made me ill.

      Im now trying to reduce by 5mils per week to see how that goes.

      I know the feeling though, you want to be totally free, youve been through so very though, just take your time, theres no great rush & you will do it, it just takes time.

      Ritchie xx

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    • Posted

      Oh god Ritchie I don't know what to say to what Iv just read😬😬 Iv just realised the lucky escape I had from that drug, I think I didn't last a week on it because it made me so ill, I can't imagine the hell you've been through but so pleased your doing so well, not far to go now but still take it easy, not that I need to tell you with what you have suffered xx

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    • Posted

      Cheers love . A woke up today and felt. 90 years old.

      My meds is every 6 hours so I'm just trying to keep busy . Hopefully this time next week I'll be every 8 hours then 10 then 12 its so tough tho. I can understand how easy it is to give in and take more just once but it never is just once is it .. you know what they say . 1s to.many and a thousand is never enough and as an addict that's rings so true . We did t chose to be but we are . If you need somethink and can't function without it your an addict.. The pain as almost become second nature it's just feed the habit feed the habit day in day out. This is my experience anyway I'm not saying we all the same . I have major pain days often but I think id be able deal with it without this evil stuff in my system I really do.. paracetamol and naproxen will be my choose once this is gone . Long way away I think but I'm focused as I've got no choice . My kids need adore me and I feel like ice let them down so bad .

      They deserve so much more than a dad who's in every day not involved in normal basic things . Like going swimming stuff like that.. I called doctors today and no appointments left so hot one for tomorrow and I'm going to ask about other options for me ...

      Hope you have a blessed day .


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    • Posted

      It does take some believing what that GP said doesnt it Caroline!! I was totally gobsmacked. I came out of there wondering if I'd just dreamt it !!!

      What i now stuggle with also is that right now, Washington state are now filing yet another Lawsuit against the manufacturer, along with the state that the Louis Theroux documentary mentioned last night. It will soon be upto $1Billion they would've been found, yet, until recently its only Lawyers in Canada who are asking those who had a problem with it & who were legitimately prescribed it to come forward to do the same against the manufacturer!

      What about the many thousands of people whose lives have been destroyed & the loved ones of the ones no longer here through overdose. ??

      Thats what frustrates me, that all these states are being paid out $multi millions, what will they do with all of that money? How has the state suffered more than the actual sufferrer & the family of those suffered etc xx

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    • Posted

      Did you ring that place in London?

      Every thing you've said I can totally resonate with and once your sorted you will look back and realise that those thought are in your head because of the drugs and not your loved ones, they won't think or feel the way you do but I totally get it because that's what got me, the impact I thought I was having on my kids and husband, now that I'm out the other end nothing has changed for my family they still go about there Day and what I thought I was doing to them has had no impact at all other than them worrying as I went through withdrawal. 

      As for the pain I have loose screws from a failed fusion which took them 14 years to discover, I have just spent 5 months unable to walk or stand but it has settled in the last couple of days so making sure I dont aggravate it again, not once did I think of taking an opiod but it makes you realise how you ended up on them in the first place, so I know once YOUR sorted you will never go back because no amount of pain will ever be as bad as the hell your going through right now, you are doing great just hang in there mate I promise you it will get better real soon. Keep wrapped up and hydrated 😊😊

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    • Posted

      You need to get a script together and turned into a film to let the whole world know how these pharmaceutical mess up people's lives and get away with it.

      My first encounter was fentalyn which I started to over dose on, I remember waiting to see an orthopaedic surgeon and was so ill, I kept saying to my husband something was wrong but I just couldn't explain myself, anyway the ortho said there was nothing wrong with me and my spine was perfect (apart from the l4/5 fusion which was sound) but he would send me to a neuro, fast forward I have an arachnoid cyst compressing my thoracic spinal cord caused by the fusion and if removed I will be paraplegic or dead, that was also told to and I swear my neuro never flinched. an X-ray has just discovered the screws are loose and that the fusion never took, if my original surgeon had bothered to do a follow up this would have been discovered sooner and maybe saved me a whole lot of c**p 

      I was once told that a neuro surgeon would not allow any of there loved ones to be operated on, I think we are all just guiney pigs.

      I have also been told that solicitors are now starting to take on historical cases (3 years max but it's changing) how can anyone know what they are about to go through 3 years after surgery, we are made to believe we are still getting better at that stage, hope your good today 😊

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    • Posted

      I have thought about it Caroline but no one in the uk seems to want to know, the BBC C4 C5 ITV The papers, ive contacted loads but no one is interested!

      This 3yr thing is ridiculous isnt it! You're right!

      Because of what a Canadian lawyer told me about, that he'd so love to take my case on against you know who 😎 i contacted some solicitors in the uk, again no one wants to know saying it wouldnt be worth their time. When i mentioned this to the Canadian Lawyer, he said "im seriously thinking of emigrating to represent you, what's the matter with these lawyers in the uk" I guess its because its not such a massive issue over here ........yet!!!

      Im not doing bad thanks, im just struggling with my back, because im not actually taking anything for it....... Talk about a rock & a hard place eh!! I feel like a bloody hypochondriac!! Hope youre doing well xx

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    • Posted

      Because there money giants and no one wants to upset them!!

      I hope you get sorted some day, I'm waiting for a contact no for a firm that is probably leading in these historical cases, when I get it I will send you the details who knows fingers crossed. 

      Ah I hope your back eases but unfortunately it dosnt work that way😢😊

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    • Posted

      You're right 100%

      That would be great, I'd love to get the number of a law firm like that so I'll keep my fingers crossed!!

      It never does does it 😊😊 xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Richie

      Spoke to a guy called Damian

      Had a good chat and he's doing a bit of research to see what my options are.

      Seeing doctor tomorrow but depending which one I see will determine the outcome . Some just don't listen and basically can't wait for you to go. But I've seen a couple recently that have been okay and shown concern and empathy..

      Hope your doing good

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    • Posted

      Thats great mate, i promise Danny, even though they mostly work part time, thay do all know their stuff.

      Im so pleased you rang them mate because they really do open up doors that you have had slammed shut in your face before, they really are life savers.

      They will help you more than you will know matey, im so very pleased youve rung them Danny!!!

      Once i get my driving licence back after sorting this sleep apnoea out, im driving the 120 odd miles to where they're based with a great big bunch of flowers for Claire, along with the biggest bloody hug she has had in her life!!!

      Im so pleased you rang them mate, its up from here on in for you Danny!!!!

      Well done my mate. Well done!!!!!

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    • Posted

      Cheers for the heads up .

      I feel much better for it . They guy seemed really well informed. More than a doctor. And just nice and calm without judgement ...

      Cheers man 🖒?

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    • Posted

      No need to thank me, thats how i felt when i first spoke to them, AT LAST, SOMEONE TO HELP WITHOUT JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!

      Thats why i wanted you to ring them!!!

      Upwards from here my mate, the first step to getting your life back Danny!!!!

      Well done my mate, WELL DONE!!!!!!

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    • Posted

      Aint that great news for Danny Caroline!!!

      The main thing is he feels so very much better for speaking to them!!

      It does take time cus once you contact them, they like the person you contact to take you on, most work like 2-3 days per week but, they really do help, even talking to your GP for you to get across what they know will help you!!

      Im so pleased for Danny!!!

      Only one way for him to go now, thats on the road back up & to claim his life back!!!! xx

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    • Posted

      You've been amazing ritchie and yes even reading Danny's messages he sounds so much more at ease and settled, he's going to be good now he's got the help he so desperately needs and I think he knows that now to, I wish you both the very best 💙💙

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    • Posted

      I haven't at all Caroline. Im sure you've helped more by just being there sweetheart & offering your words of support!!

      As i said i just want to help where there is none & if i can do that, then its all good for those who are suffering as ive been there, so have you & you would never wish that hell on your worst enemy, as we both know!!

      Im so pleased for Danny as i know how i fealt when they started helping me, they really are a God send & all people like us need, its such a shame the government cannot see this & help support them!!

      Anyway, tonight is a great night for Danny & im so very pleased for him!!!

      Take care Caroline, sleep well Sweetheart!

      Ritchie xx

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    • Posted

      Hi guys

      Not to bad. Seen 2 different doctors in 2 days one in person one on phone. First doctor never seen before he didnt want to sign script . Told me he's only allowed to sign 2 coñtrolled medications . ? Which I've never heard of before . Thobbed off basically . The second one today was pretty good to be honest she was listening to me and gave advice to take things slow. It's a battle in its self dealing with different Gps. It's just makes life stressful doesn't it . Unnecessary as I'm trying my best and some think id benefit from not having to explain myself over and over . It's a monthly reasurrance to be honest .. so anyway ha . I'm going to call my gut in London tomorrow and update him ansbsee what he's thinks mg next steps should be. I'm taking 30mg every 8 hours and trying to stretch it to every 10 then 12 over the next coming weeks .. It's the way I done it before and it worked for me. Instead of taking say 60-70 mg x 2 daily and getting used to the night dose .. my aim is to get to 20mg x2 daily and then do a 3 day detox. But I'm not thinking that far. As it scares me at this stage . I'm taking the odd 10mg of instant release inbetween to help with minor pain . On top of this I.on day 6 of champix to stop smoking. So loads of battles guys but I'm trying my best and getting there and feel a lot better this week. My daughter's back from Ibiza so I'm asking her to give me enough for the day so I don't be tempted to take more . A bit of bad news or stress in the past has made me reach for the tablets for the wrong reasons . Block out my problems and not take for the pain . Which is defeating the issue .

      .hope I've come across clear enough to gage where am at.

      Hope you 2 are doing good

      Have a lovely evening guys.



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    • Posted

      Brilliant Danny xx I understand the difficulty having to explain over and over but that aside it sounds like your on the right path, we are  rooting for you all the way mate!! stay strong and keep in touch, try and have a relaxing  night xx
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    • Posted

      Too right my mate.

      Its so frustrating going over the same thing time & again but, the main thing is you feel more positive this week than you did this time last week which, is a step forward.

      When you have been at the very very bottom of where you can get too, theres only one way to go my mate, & thats UP!!!!

      Just take one day at a time, take it easy & you will get there!

      It is gonna take time matey but, i know you WILL get there Danny!!

      Were here for you mate & im so pleased you feel better than you did this time last week!!

      Just take your time, its a long slow process but, you have time so just go with it, take it steady & go with one day at a time my mate, you're so gonna beat this & get your life back mate!!!

      Ritchie 👍

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    • Posted

      Thanks for having faith

      It's means alot and to be honest I'm so glad I've found you 2 coz I would of been alot worse letting my mind take over what's truly going without you guys putting things into prospective and calming me down . Looking back this time last week I was in a mess and could of gone worse and who knows what could of happened . We all know how bad this poison can make you react to the slightest issue .

      So thanks a lot you've are life savers

      Have a lovely evening

      Bath time and chilled music. 😘

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    • Posted

      You put on your chilled music mate, you deserve it.

      How you were last week, so reminds me of how i was at my lowest point, its nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of Danny, its the Oxy mate, thats what it does,(amongnst loads of other things that the manufacturers will NEVER admit to)

      But as i said, what goes around comes around & i prey that one day, you & me will be taking on these murderers for what they have done to us & others mate!!!

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    • Posted

      Hi mate

      Not bad in a bit of pain more than usually but can handle it.

      Waiting for a call back off the London place. What's it called again ?

      Should hear Monday .

      Been knocked back on a mandatory reconsideration for my esa. Total joke .

      Got to go cab Monday Tuesday to appeal . Had no funds for 4 weeks. Testing me that's for sure

      Hope your okay mate and had a good week . You managed to chip any off ?

      Cheers pal

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    • Posted

      Danny mate listen to me!!!

      I too was turned down for ESA. we could be twins lol!!!!

      I went for 3 months with no payments at all. If it wasnt for my parents i would now be on the streets.

      The "Mandatory Reconsideration " is what you HAVE to do that they will turn down as they have targets to hit!!

      SICK in the head i know but, thats how this sad country works now mate. I was physically sick Danny when i realised the lengths this gov,,%$#?t go too. (Im trying to do this so i dont get deleted!!)

      Im waiting my tribunal date since 11th April & still not heard or had a date Danny.

      They are so corrupt mate it really stinks!!!!

      Because you appeal, you will get a copy of the assessment, around 20 odd pages. I got to page 5 & cannot read anymore due to the blatant lies that were told about me. I am totally disgusted mate. Totally disgusted that so called Proffesionals can blatantly Lie Danny.

      Hang in there my mate, these people need taking down for the ones like you & me who ended up where we are through NO fault of our own!!!

      So very very wrong & i will never ever stop fighting till those responsible PAY for what they're doing to us!!

      So SO morally Wrong!!!

      Keep up the fight my mate & dont ever let them beat you!!!! 👍

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    • Posted

      This Gov'nment is soooooo corrupt Danny. They have no morals at all mate & dont care about the likes of you n me!!!!

      All they wanna do is line the pockets of the wealthy & sink the rest of us.

      Just keep fighting my mate, our day will come.

      What goes around comes around & i will never ever give up this fight for what im entitled to after working so very hard all of my life from the age of 14 to 49 & when i need help, im thrown on the rubbish pile!!!

      Sorry, but in my world i dont work that wat mate!!!!

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    • Posted

      Glad your coping Danny but sorry to hear you have another fight on your hands, as if you don't have enough to deal with😡😡 keep fighting them mate and you will get sorted, they hope that once your knocked back it's enough to stop you trying again and let's face it it's like begging for what is rightfully yours, let's kick a little harder while your down....oooh it boils me😡😡. Anyway hopefully youl be sorted soon and Ritchie you keep fighting to, once I get that number I'll pass it on but my brother hasn't seen the guy since, typical, stay strong Danny xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you Caroline, ill never stop fighting for what i believe is right!!!

      I cannot believe how very similar Danny & my stories are!!

      Thank you sweetheart. You take care

      Ritchie xx

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    • Posted

      I know  you won't!! I can hear your determination, when you've gone through what you and Danny have you come out stronger and that's what these people at the top don't realise because they have never had to live through your hell even tho they are totally aware of the hell they have created for millions of people😡

      I'm also trying to get a case together against my surgeon who never followed up on the operation he done on me and as a result I have suffered 14 years of hell also, I always say that if a person in the street done this to me they would go to prison but he's protected like they all are but WE will get there eventually👊

      Good night to you both I hope you sleep well xx 

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    • Posted

      God bless you Caroline.

      Hopefully we will all get what we deserve & the ones responsible for putting us all & every other person suffered & suffering through what we have all been through will get what they rightfully deserve also Caroline!!

      Night Sweetheart xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Richie

      Wow yeah are stories so similar .

      Sorry for late reply I've been having a good catch up with my daughter. Well she's been helping me do laundry etc. She's a life saver not only with the helping out around house but where she's comes into her own is she's a very good listener. I feel like put her thru the mill and she doesn't deserve to see and gave a worry about her dad. It breaks my heart. But as she says theirs people worse off dad so just be strong you'll get there.

      Anyway I agree with eveeythink you mentioned mate it stinks to high heaven . I do feel lime they are really testing me but I'm not alone. The rich get richer while the poor get left to rot .

      Have a good sleep

      Speak to you guys tomorrow

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    • Posted

      Danny I know what your saying, my 18 year old son went through it with me last year and it broke my heart, everyday he still cuddles me and asks if I'm ok, he should never have had to see that, as his Mam my instinct is to protect but I really was in a bad way and he stepped up to the plate, I'm so proud of him he's turned into a beautiful young man inside and out, I have spoke to him and told him how I fealt about the situation and he said Mam youve looked after us all your life it our turn to look after you😢 You've obviously done a wonderful job bringing up your daughter Danny because all I see around me is a lot of selfish people and it's times like this that there true colours show, god bless your beautiful daughter you must be so proud and she will be of you even more so when she sees you kick this craps butt👊👊, we underestimate our children, have a great weekend my friend xx you to Ritchie xx

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    • Posted

      You too Caroline!!

      Just goes to show when you're down the kicks just keep on coming eh!!!

      2 yrs ago as you know i was a sucessful senior manager on £50k per yr, with a brand new sporty Lexus on my drive.

      Due to what happened & my back problem & the Oxy etc, i lost my job, at the time i was renting a 3 bed house as my daughter was living with me.

      When i lost my job, i stuck it out as i was determined not to go on Benefits, i hated the idea!

      However, after using every penny of my savings i had no choice in the end.

      To cut a very long story short i had to leave the 3 bed house as housing benefits didnt cover it, so, i moved into a 2 bed council flat with my daughter.

      My daughter has now left school & goes to college, but stays with me 2 nights per wk, the rest of time she stays at her mums.

      Because i was completely honest after council asked me about my daughter, i told them.

      Today i get a lovely letter saying, out of my £73.10 per wk which is the only income i have, i now have to pay them £26.24 from my bank account due to the overpayment in housing they paid my landlord due to me now living on my own in a 2 bedroom flat!!

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    • Posted

      WOW!! Yip unbelievable, if you never worked, never paid tax....you wouldn't have this problem.

      My husband has been keeping us  a float for 14 years and it's been scary to say the least, we are hanging on by the finger nails. I'm a very private person and even most of my family don't know what we've been through but they think we're sittin pretty, they don't have a clue, never mind we will get there in the end xx

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    • Posted

      I prey we will Caroline!!!

      As you know i worked since the age of 14 as thats how my parents bought me up & to be honest, if it wasn't still for my parents, i would now be on the streets!!

      Watching that Louis Theroux documentary the other night, this really can happen to anyone.

      I never ever thought i would be claiming benefits. I worked my way up from the shop floor to Charge hand to Supervisor to Team Leader to Factory Manager then to Operations Manager.

      I was bought up on a council estate but my parent bought me up well, they worked really hard for what they had & only since they retired have they been able to afford to buy a car under 4yrs old!!!

      And i feel so very guilty because even at the age of 49, they are still having to support me!!! And I feel disgusted about it.

      I've never gone to them for help but my mum always knows when i have problems & hopefully, if i win my tribunal, (whenever that is) i will be able to pay them every single penny back they"ve loaned me to keep me off the streets.

      If i had the choice, i really would emigrate but, where do you go thats any better????

      The whole world is about money & greed but this country!!!........

      At the risk of those who are so patriotic about this country i hate it with a passion now as to what its become.

      I challenge anyone to now tell me exactly what is "Great" about great britain!!!

      I sincerely hope you soon get this Solicitor to help you, so you & your husband can have the life you both deserve!!!

      Have a great weekend sweetheart & take care!

      Ritchie xx

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    • Posted

      My upbringing sounds exactly the same, my parents just like yours and I worked from 11 with a paper round and worked right up to 32 (when I had my opp) as personal trainer and beauty therapist, I specialised in permanent hair removal and started my own business but 2 years in I had to pack it in until I recovered from my surgery but that never happened, I had so many plans and still have but if I'm being honest with myself I don't think it will ever happen now as I think I may need a re-fusion soon. 

      I am so independent and feel Iv had all my dreams and ambition taken from me at the hands of someone else.

      As for this country I feel the same, I used to be proud but not anymore and your right where do you go? There is no where its all the same, GREED sadly.

      Winge over😂

      Have a great night guys xx

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    • Posted

      Ooooh i forgot about my paper round lol.

      Anyway, i think the point here Caroline is that, we have all worked so very hard from a very young age. Then grew up to have great jobs with great opportunities that were then cut very short through no fault of our own!!!

      We've been done wrong sadly & that is very sad & very very wrong sweetheart, i guess thats what im trying to say!!.

      Hopefully we will get what is due to us after having our opportunities cut very short through no fault of our own!!

      Enough said for now, take care & talk soon xx

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    • Posted


      I'm not to bad Caroline thankyou.

      Feeling a lot more than normal nerve pain but you just battle on don't you...

      Main issue at minute is money ..

      Had to appeal as I got knocked back with a mandatory reconsideration for ESA . Total joke this situation. They don't give a dam . Absolutely shocked the way this gov is treating people . So when they lodge my appeal I can ask for my esa to be reinstated . So that's going to be 6 weeks min without payment. My dad's is my lifesaver but it makes depressed . I should be looking after him . Right ? . Feeling punished for somethink ive not done if you no what I mean ....? Go to keep your head up and carry on. Ha. ... other than that I'm surprisingly in good spirits 😘

      Hope your good love I understand it's really tuff times for yourself .

      Cheers darling


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    • Posted

      It's an absolute joke😡😡😡

      Don't worry about your dad im sure he wouldn't have it any other way but  I totally  understand I felt exactly the same about my Mam.

      I remember all the other pains I started to feel that the opioids had suppressed and wandered how I was going to cope once off all the meds but it gets easier I promise and I think a lot of it is down to the chemicals leaving your body causing pain everywhere.

      But on a positive note  I'm so pleased your feeling good, don't let the system get you down, keep fighting them.

      Stay strong your doing amazing, you should be really proud of yourself😊👍

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    • Posted


      Once you appeal & it hits their suystem, get your GP to sign you off & send a sick note in for as long as he can.

      I get £73 per wk now waiting for my appeal date which, by the way ive been waiting for since April 11th!!!

      The DWP wont tell you this, i found out through going to citizens advice after going 3 months without a single penny mate!!!

      Also, contact your local welfare rights people who will support you at your appeal mate!!

      Exactly same situation i went through, now you've appealed Danny, you will get a copy of the assessor who assessed you's notes! Just wait till you read all the very manyBlatant Lies they've told about you to get you off ESA!!!

      Mine is 23 pages & i still cannot get past page 5 due to all the lies she told about me, she didn't even ask me any questions to get any points!!!

      This government is a complete joke mate, they're all sharks who dont give a damn about people!!

      Keep your chin up my mate! All will come good!!

      Apart from the obvious im fine thanks Caroline, hope you're well too!!! xx

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    • Posted

      Yeah I'm pretty hot on to it Richie .

      Been getting good advice off a welfare rights woman thought my housing association..

      She double checked and said as soon as it lands on their system I can get it reinstated. . Sick note is in 2 months. So all done my end .

      Just living basic and plodding on . It's all we do isn't it .

      I'm just amazed the fact they think it's okay to stress people even more and expect people to get by without any money what so ever . I'm lucky but their must be people out their who have no one. Must be so hard for some ..

      Anyway enjoy you're evening guys .. ?😘

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    • Posted

      Exactly Danny!!

      And what i mentioned the other day about my daughter now moving back with her mum due to being easier for college, they now want me to pay £26.24 out of my £73.10 per wk as i live in a 2 bed flat on my own!

      This country has gone crazy big time!!

      Keep smiling mate & keep fighting the B##t###s 👍😆

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    • Posted

      Phone your council and ask for a discretionary housing application . I get it mate .

      They award it quiet fast aswell ..

      It basically covers the bedroom tax . They do a means test over phone a think so obviously just make sure your income isn't enough for your out going as it stands never mind paying that aswell. Say you go catalogue and existing debts that you pay weekly . You no the score mate .

      Do it tomorrow mate you'll get it 100% in your situation .

      Good luck

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    • Posted

      It is mate yes.

      Im waiting for a form to come Danny. Thats what its for.

      Cheers mate, theres no way i can afford it so thats exactly what im gonna go for.

      Cheers mate 👍

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    • Posted

      Was going to message you this morning to😊 Hope your coping well, I think your coming into your 3rd week, stay strong. 

      I just said to my husband this morning it's been a year since I was going through it and looking back a year seemed so far away but it's not, as much as I'm in pain my overall mental and physical health has improved drastically, it won't be long before you can put this all behind you, hope today is a good one👊😊

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    • Posted

      Im not too bad thanks.

      Reduced the methadone again. Just wish i could get rid of this pain in my back & it locking up after i walk so far.

      Back at pain clinic on 23rd November so will see how that goes.

      Also, had my ESA Appeal date through for 16th November so hopefully that will go well!!???

      I think the other message you sent was for Danny.

      Take care & keep plodding on xx 👍

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    • Posted

      Ah I feel for you, I managed to cut the garden yesterday and I'm paying for it today, my neck, upper back and lower back are having a war against each other to see who can hurt the most😂😂 Iv took diazapam but not really doing anything.

      Ah well let's hope november will be a positive month for you, hopefully this pain clinic can help and your appeal goes your way, good luck with it all, 

      Ye it was meant for Danny 😅

      Take care and just relax if you can, get a bit ice on it or a hot bath, it sucks 😝😊

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    • Posted

      Its a good job we can laugh about it Caroline!!

      If it wasn't for my parents lending me money i honestly would be on the streets by now!

      Just when you think things cannot possibly get any worse, along it comes again to kick you when you're down hey!!

      Hopefully as you say, November will be lucky!

      Ill keep you informed!

      I know what you're saying about paying for doing too much that you used to do with your eyes closed & take for granted. Now its just frustration cus you cant do what you used too!

      Anyway, you take care Caroline!

      And, please remember to let me know if you hear about that solicitor you mentioned 👍 xx

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    • Posted

      I will do, it was a chance meeting my brother had in the gym but he hasn't seen him since, however he said he travels all over the world so it's just a case of waiting, I will let you know as soon as I have details.

      It's terrifying to think that one day your fighting fit and the next your fighting to keep a roof over your head, weve had had some extremely tough financial times and the worst is when your lying awake at night for hours on end wandering what your going to do if you don't make enough money this month for the bill, ah it's not good and should definitely be highlighted more, I don't even think people realise there's a whole community of pain sufferers who are struggling but we get dismissed because it's only "pain"😡

      Never mind we will get there, I never won the lottery last night so I'll keep trying😂

      Take care xx

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    • Posted

      Its really frightening!

      One day im fine, the next, what happened there then!?? & it can happen to anyone.

      To think i was on £50k per yr with a lovely Lexus on my drive, no money worries at for once, then, all my savings are gone because i refused to claim benefits, now i have nothing & struggling. Funny old game life, hey 🤣🤣All these documentaries on tv are all American so they dont think its happening over here! They will all be shocked soon!! xx

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    • Posted

      How's things with you Caroline??

      I cannot believe they blocked my post to Andy, then when they actually posted it, I went over it word for word twice & still can't see anything wrong, can you??

      Please be honest as if it's something I'm doing I'll stop doing it but, I don't have a clue 🤣🤣

      I'm getting really worked up now due to my appeal on Thursday & the court is just down the road & on the same street as the job Centre!! Funny that!!

      I've been told by the manager at welfare rights who are representing me that I'll walk it, I just wish I had his confidence!!

      Both welfare rights & citizens advise have asked me why I'm not claiming PIP, I said purely for the reason that I refuse to put myself through the stress of an assessment where you're made to feel like a naughty little boy whose done something very wrong!!

      Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes!

      Take care

      Ritchie xx

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