20 years of marriage, and got diagnosed with herpes hsv2

Me too! He swears he didn´t cheat, and I KNOW I didn´t. We´ve been married for 16 years, he´s the only man I´ve EVER had sex with. He had sex with people before we were together, and as I said he SWEARS he didn´t cheat. and if he didn´t cheat, he´s probably thinking I did. I´m very sad about all this, apart from the TORTURE my first outbreak was, emotionally it takes a toll. Can I trust him? Is he tellilng the truth? and if he is... is he suspicious of me? 

He´s never been the sort of guy to ... well, cheat. He loves spending time with me and our family. We have a healthy relationship, and I just don´t see when he could´ve cheated. But on the other hand my doctor said it was virtually IMPOSSIBLE to have herpes, never have an outbreak and just recently infect me after such a long time! I WANT it to be a possibility, my brain says it CAN´T, and really I just want the truth of what happened. 

I mentioned below, that 3 different doctors said to me that herpes 2 can lie dormant for decades, so your doctor is incorrect. I know I never cheated, yet I didn't have an outbreak for 30 years. My husband must have had it before me and we remember a rash in early years but thought it was eczema. So I was carrying it but never had an outbreak until I got run down in later years. If you research on-line, you will see herpes lies dormant for many people. I think your marriage is solid then :-). Maybe find a more informed doctor though. That view is outdated. I don't know you but it sounds like your marriage is healthy!

 

You're the one who needs the blood test. If your swab is positive and your IgG (not IgM) antibody still negative, then you have confirmed infection that is new in you. IgG will start to go positive after a month, however, so you need to test asap. Even if new, that doesn't necessarily mean anyone cheated, as people can be long-term carriers and not pass it in for years.

See my reply to Gita1234. I would insist on the blood test in both of you.

I just found out through an IgG blood test. I've never had an outbreak. I had testing for all STD's because my husband filed for divorce and left (and is already living with another woman). My doctor signed an affidavit that without a noticeable outbreak and the positive IgG that in his professional opinion it is most likely (not with certainty - but most likely) that I was exposed to the virus during my marriage. I had testing done during our marriage as well when HIV first came out in the news strongly and they also did tests for herpes, HIV and other STD's when I got pregnant 24 years ago. All previous testing was negative.

I have heard that the blood tests can produce false negatives. I had a swab done on a blister so not likely a false positive unfortunately. Hope you stay healthy!

 

Hello, I am in the same boat! I have been with my husband 15 years and have suffered with vaginal issues for as long as I can remember. The last 4 years I have been suffering with irritation and my left labia becomes swollen. I would like to ask, when you have a outbreak is it noticeable? Do you see the lesions or blisters. I tested positive for hsv 1 but don't recall ever having a cold soar. I'm convinced is ghsv-1. I am scared to be intimate with my husband with the fear of passing this to him. If this is to personal, I understand I have been to so many doctors my head is spinning. If anyone had input please, I'm listening!!

I also had irritations over the years and wrote it off to Candida. However this time I had blisters, burning and felt flu-like. That is similar to a first outbreak but I could have had it for years. If you have it, your husband probably does too. 88% of people who have HSV 1 or 2 don''t know it and/or only get very mild symptoms. I was very run down and just had 2 rounds of anti-biotics so my doctor thinks that's why I had such a severe outbreak. Some people never show signs. They can do a swab test if you have an irritation. Sometimes you get irritations but not sores apparently. Maybe both of you can get the blood test.  If you both have it, you can't re-infect each other. Also when you do not have an outbreak, you are less likely to pass it on, especially if you can use condoms.  Candida can cause swelling or irritation sometimes too. As many as 70% of people have HSV1. It is a common virus. I feel for you, that it sucks! For most people though, it doesn't affect them over all.

Also for HSV1 you can look into taking Lysine capsules, sold in many health food stores. Oil of Oregano is supposed to be good for HSV2 as well. Scientists are studying if it can actually cure Herpes so lets hope! It can be applied to the skin as well.

 

That's the odd thing, my husband has never had a issue. He doesn't want to be tested he said what does it matter if I do or don't. I get what he saying he doesn't care it changed nothing but it's scary for me, I don't want to infect him if he is negative. We have both had other partners when we where younger. Every time I go to the doctor they brush me off. Is your significant other positive? May I ask how you are handling it. I have no one who will listen and it's nice to be able to speak to others who know what I am going through. I appreciate you responding with information. Do you take valtex? Since I am positive for 1 I begged my doctor for meds but they don't seem to help. I really hope they find a cure or at least meds that suppresses the virus completely. Thank you!

Do you use the oil everyday or only for a outbreak? Are you positive for 1 or 2 sorry if I am being nosey. I'm just so curious on how to mute this virus I suffer so much and i feel like it's taken away the quality of my life.

They told me 2 but I think most people get cold sores and have 1 and don't know it. I was in terrible shock at first! If you use the oil, maybe take during an outbreak and then for a few weeks. Oregano oil shouldn't be used all the time as it's like a natural antibiotic and then could upset your stomach. Take a drop or 2 in liquid and with food and a few hours away from any zinc or calcium supplements. Also if you have HSV1, Lysine helps shorten outbreaks and can prevent new recurrent ones. About my husband, neither of us showed for 30 years(!) but now we look back and realize that he had a rash or 2 in early years so probably had it. I am just showing after 30 years. Your husband has a good attitude and you will work it out over time. My doctor is very sympathetic and understanding. Maybe think about finding a doctor that gives you a positive outlook. Mine says it is a common virus and not to get too upset as it lessens over time. Also so many people have it and don't show symptoms. A friend of mine had an outbreak once 10 years ago and then never again. The body develops antibodies even though the virus stays dormant. Good luck.

Thank you so much for the information. I don't mind having it, I am just scared that if my husband is negative i will give it to him. we both have had other partners before we where together. i have suffered with issue for so many years and the doctors always wrote it off. I constant yeast and bacterial infections and it didn't make sense. The crazy thing is I take suppressive therapy and it changes nothing. I don't even know exactly what my outbreaks are like because i have constant irritation. ugh!! I just have no one to talk to. So thank you so much.

I also suffered for many years with infections and didn't know it was this! Now my outbreak has lasted a long time but I hear the antivirals don't work unless they are started right away. It's very stressful, I hear what you are saying. My husband's dr. said not to test him as if we are married, we probably both have the same things and not to worry. Sometimes your irritation could be a yeast infection. You can buy over the counter meds for that and cut sugar and alcohol out until better. My husband shows no signs but we remember that years ago he did. It sounds like your husband is understanding and that is important. I hope you find a better doctor that can help. My dr. is nice but the drug hasn't helped. I do find that taking acidophulus  capsules and not eating sugar has cut down on yeast and if you take anti-biotics, double the amount. Then just ride out the awful outbreak of herpes but know that you have a good marriage and it will pass. Take care!

I did read that durning a outbreak taking two 500 valtrex for three days can help shorten the outbreak, if you ever have another you could try that. Yes, he is but if he is negative he has never shown symptoms I would like not to pass it to him. My "outbreaks" are just irritation and swelling. Its so darn confusing. I hope your outbreak passes soon and you will have some relief. I will try and do the diet change and hope that helps. Thank you. You take care as well.

HI! I wanted to share some new info since we have similar issues. My doctor sent me to an OB/GYN and what I am having now is no longer herpes. I had a herpes outbreak but now the swelling and burning are irritations and possibly vaginal infection. They did another swab and it was negative so this is irritation, not another outbreak. It sounds similar to you since you don't have the blisters and it has been a long time. Also they don't bother to test my husband because the blood test is not accurate. When you have an outbreak your body makes antibodies to fight it. That's what they test for in the blood. But if you haven't had a recent outbreak, the antibodies don't always show up. Also, since you tested for HSV1, that is the more common one. Up to 80% of people have that one (i.e. cold sores) and don't even know it. I am now using some natural vaginal acidophilus cream from the health food store and some Canesten cream over the counter and the burning is less. I hope you see that you are safe to be with your husband and that since you are not getting sores you are probably having body stress and or infection and not an outbreak. Good luck!

IgG antibodies persist for life, recent outbreak or not. They may go down a little over time, but are still there. IgM can vary, however, and is an unreliable test generally.

Thank you so much. I have never seen or felt a blister down there. So maybe they are inside? I would think that I would be in pain. All I have is irritation and sometimes redness and swelling. I am scared to have sex because if he doesn't have it then I don't want to share lol. Anytime I have the irritation I would go to the doctor and I was always negative for yeast and bacteria. I would mention H and she said she never saw any lesions or blisters. This whole this is so confusing. But your right the test misses 30 percent. I've read that from H experts! It's like what is going on down there! I wish I could relax and enjoy my husband but I refuse to have sex out of fear. I don't even know what a outbreak feels like because I never had one that I was in pain or lesions that I've noticed. It's so odd. I will look into those creams. My doctor gave me the name of one that has lidocaine in it. If you would like the name I would gladly give it. It's pricey but you can buy it off amazon. 

I have all those irritations like you and took all kinds of swabs 2 weeks ago and even Candida and Herpes came back negative. I went to an allergist and she told me to apply coconut butter inside several times a day and you can add acidophilus. It really helps and is natural. Also I am using a cortisone ointment over the counter, for the bumps. It really sounds like you have a sensitivity and are safe. Look up vaginal dermatitis.It's not contagious to your partner.

Are you really really sure? I am in a monogamous relationship too... and I want to believe my husband that he never cheated. It was so painful to go through my first outbreak! and now... if he´s telling the truth, how long do I wait to have sex again? 

Pharmaceuticals will not work as well as clean vegan diet or following your blood type diet...food is medicine...outbreaks are caused because of the pH in the body if it becomes to acidic for example from drinking alcohol or not enough water. Kombucha is reallly good for overall health, especially herpes.

Yes I agree! I also find probiotic vegetables very helpful, especially when I make my own.

The herbal immune tincture I take, also seems to help.

 

I am 49 years old. Monday I was swabbed for a tested by positive for Herpes (got results today). I am beside myself. I have been married for 26 years. My husband and I have been best friends since we were teenagers and there is NOTHING we haven't shared with each other. We have a fantastic marriage, deep with love and laughter, 3 sons, nice home, etc. Neither one of us has been unfaithful. I had been having UTIs since December and about 3 weeks ago, had a kidney stone surgically removed. A few days ago, my vaginal area felt like a yeast infection had started. And well, you know the rest. I'm really not sure how this happened or why. I am beyond devastated and so is my husband. I don't know where to go from here...Thanks for listening