Posted , 21 users are following.
im at my breaking point! im 30 and i have nothing! i really mean nothing! i live with my mum and stepdad i dont work, i dont leave the house hardly at all, the only thing i do is watch tv show after tv show so i can escape into a better life but the minute i stop watching something i start feeling down, i go days not talking out loud, my mum barely talks to me shes too wrapped up in her own world, i have a sister who doesnt have the time or patience for me and i dont have any friends.
im incapable of having any kind of relationship with anyone so really when you think about it i really do need to just give up! im so unhappy, im so alone its unreal and i dont want to go on anymore like this and i know i wont get any better as i have tried everything the doctor has thrown at me i completed CBT which is the only free service available so i have been discharged for the like 100th time.. i cant go on anymore and yet im pathetic and dont have the guts to do anything.
i think of what i could do to kill myself and it sounds awful and painful i just hope i get to the point where i am so desperate i just do it without thinking!
i have been looking around on the internet for hours cos i just cant explain how lonley i feel right now and the internet offers nothing! it makes me feel worse because mental health is just subjected around Young people now and im not young anymore i have suffered my whole life it just gets worse! i try not to self harm cos that makes me feel worse ! its such a kid thing to do apparently! no one will probably even finish reading this cos why would they! im not looking for an answer as there really is just one and that would be to end all !
if i go and stand at the edge of somewhere will anyone come and push me off the edge? think thats what i need.. i need someone to push me so i dont have to jump!
im so desperate i dont know what to do!!!!
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